i never knew i could hurt like this and everyday life goes on
i wish i could talk to you for a while
miss you but i try not to cry
as time goes by
i'm facing another challenge. yesterday, i collapsed on my way to school. pero hindi naman ako agaw eksena kasi kahit na maraming dumadaan sa petron sa katipunan, wala namang lumapit saken para tumulong. i guess dahil na rin sa rush hour tapos trapik pa so lahat ng tao nagmamadali. hindi naman ako nawalan ng malay, in fact, naitukod ko pa yung siko ko kaya hindi lumapat ang ulo ko sa matigas na semento. muntik na. hay. ewan ba, wala naman akong naapakang balat ng saging, whatever. hindi rin naman basa yung daan. basta lang nawalan ako ng lakas at naramdaman ko na lang na nasa semento na ako. parang may gong sa ulo ko pagbagsak ko. whew! akala ko wala lang pero mahapdi talaga yung siko at ankle ko. pagtingin ko, may sugat pala. hay. takot pa naman ako sa dugo. pero syempre tuloy pa rin ang araw. pag-uwi ko sa bahay, higa lang ako tapos tulog na hanggang gabi. ginising lang ako para kumain at uminom ng gamot. tapos tulog na uli. ang sakit ng buong katawan ko. at syempre terible yung ulo ko. hay. buti na lang wala akong pasok ngayon. sabi ni vhel baka raw dahil sa fibromyalgia ko. naisip ko rin yun. sa tingin ko kelangan ko na talaga magpatingin sa neuro. medyo nagiging mahiluhin kasi ako lately. feeling ko laging lumilindol. anyway, yung tungkol sa fibromyalgia, mababasa niyo rin dito. hindi kasi ako nakapag-online nitong mga nakaraang araw kaya hindi ko na-post.
ano nga palang kinalaman ng title sa content ng post kong ito? wala lang. narinig ko lang kanina yung song ni mariah. hehe. seriously, secret. haha.
anyway, i just wanna share some thoughts.
God's will is unquestionable. He knows our every need and He gives us what we deserve.
nagsimba kame ni alpha kahapon. sabi ni Father sa kanyang homily: "Prayer is a way of life. The strength of prayer does not depend on the one who prays but to Whom it is addressed. May your prayer be a committed prayer and may it be a prayer from the heart. Pray not to change God but to let God change you."
ang nice lang kasi sa lahat ng nangyayari sken ngayon, God still speaks to me. for the past two days, i've been reading The Book of Job. chapter 14 na ako. super nakaka-relate ako. read it and you'll be inspired too. in the first chapter, i have witnessed how Job has been faithful when he said: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." in the second chapter, he said: "Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" but in the third and succeeding chapters, napagod din siya at nagsimula ng magtanong at mabagabag. in the third chapter, he regrets his birth. sabi niya, "Why is light given to him who is in misery, and life to the bitter of soul..?..I am not at ease, nor am I quiet; I have no rest, for trouble comes." even Job almost gave up. nanghina rin siya. pero alam naman naten na in the end, God still blessed him and his family. naniniwala akong God knows best at hindi ko talaga pwedeng i-question yung will Niya. sabi ko nga kay jat, kakayanin ko 'to. sabi rin ni Arun Gogna, "I will serve the Lord till my last breath." ganun din ako. at alam ko basta si God ang kinapitan ko, magiging maayos din ang lahat. sabi ni ate glenda, "remain strong. stay in love with JC." i will. ^_^ hindi ko pa natatapos basahin yung buong book ni Job. share ko yung iba ko pang matututunan next time. basahin niyo rin if you have time. well, we should make time for Bible reading/study, right? ^_^
to end, let me share this thought which i learned during our upper household last Tuesday: [thanks ate jing. ^_^]
~The will of God will never take you where the grace of God will not protect you.~
i trust in You, Lord. i always will. [06.20.08]
*****
i belong to the 2% of the general population.. [06.14.08]
i did a research on the recent diagnosis given by Doc Charms - fibromyalgia, and i found this very useful information from Wikipedia. here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia
if you're interested, check it out. you'll learn a lot.
in my case, medyo alarming lang kasi lahat ng sinabing symptoms and signs dun, nararamdaman/naeexperience ko. pero sabi naman hindi siya deadly e. so hindi ako kelangang mag-worry. i'm taking pregabalin (lyrica). after two weeks, balik daw ako.
*****
papa.. i love you.. [06.15.08]
happy father's day sa ating mga ama at sa lahat ng mga ama!
some thoughts lang.
"Listen to your father who begot you." [Proverbs 23:22]
"The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who begets a wise child will delight in him." [Proverbs 23:24]
sabi sa isang card sa papemelroti: Father is another word for love.
and finally, ang food for thought sa Mel & Joey kanina: Any man can be a father but it takes someone special to be a dad. - Anne Geddes
*****
some thoughts to share.. [06.23.08]
obviously, hindi pa rin ako nakakapagnet kaya humahaba yung post ko. here are some of my learnings during the previous days.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in Me." [John 14:1] With God by our side, worry has no place in our hearts.
"God would not have chosen you if His heart could not love you. He would not have adopted you if His hand could not bless you." -nabasa ko 'to kanina habang nagliligpit ako ng mga gamit. ang ganda lang.
"Everything dies if you do not believe." [Peter Pan] -eto rin. naalala ko yung Kung Fu Panda: there is no special ingredient. you just have to believe. ^_^
"Kung sa tingin mo wala ka ng magagawa, magdasal ka. Dahil ang Diyos, may magagawa pa." [Cecille, Joaquin Bordado] -o diba, may aral din akong napulot mula dun? hehe.
"Ang pag-ibig kasi ay parang flush ng camera. Kahit handa ka na, bigla na lang itong sasabog sa harapan mo at pansamantala kang mabubulag nito." [Lovers in Prague] -astig 'to. wala lang. naglilipat lang ako ng channel tapos natapat sa QTV 11. yun nga yung palabas. tapos sakto, yun ang eksena. ang galing no? wala talagang aksidente. lahat may dahilan. ^_^
"Do you know that of the 72% water-composition of the Earth's surface: 97% is salty and unusable, 2% is tied up in icecaps, 0.5% is more than half mile below the surface. Meaning, only 0.5% is available for our freshwater needs. Don't waste it, please." -nabasa ko sa CR sa UP.
"Only the prayers of those with humble hearts will be heard by God." -homily 'to two weeks ago. ngayon ko lang na-share kasi ngayon ko lang uli nakita yung pinagsulatan ko nito.
lastly, here's a prayer given to us during a Girl Scout World Conference (i was part of the service team then, sa media ako. it was one of the best experiences i ever had.) last June 2002. tagal na no? i was going through some old stuffs kagabi hanggang kanina tapos yun nga, nakita ko 'to. it's a good prayer especially for workers.
Before Work
Father, may everything we do begin with Your inspiration and continue with Your saving help. Let our work always find its origin in You and through You reach completion.
Lord, pour out on us the spirit of understanding, truth, and peace. Help us to strive with all our hearts to know what is pleasing to You, and when we know Your will, make us determined to do it.
God, our Father, work is Your gift to us, a call to reach new heights by using our talents for the good of all. Guide us as we work and teach us to live in the spirit that has made us Your sons and daughters, in the love that has made us brothers and sisters. Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen.
and a quote: "I do the very best I can, I mean to keep going. If the end brings out all right, then what is said against me won't matter. If I'm wrong, ten angels swearing I was right won't make a difference."
"Do your best, that's all anyone can ask of you. Even yourself."
end of post. the homily yesterday deserves a separate post. ^_^ God bless everyone!
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