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Saturday, June 28, 2008

buhos na ulan aking mundo'y lunuring tuluyan..

Nabasa ko kahapon sa isang artikulo sa Philippine Collegian: Hindi mapipigil ang bagyo, iba rin ang may hawak sa kuryenteng dumadaloy sa bahay, at hawak naman ng kuryente halos ang buhay. Hindi naman lingid sa ating kaalaman na isang malakas na bagyo (Frank) ang sumalanta sa ating bansa noong nakaraang linggo. At nagdulot ito ng napakaraming trahedya, kabilang na ang paglubog ng MV Princess of the Stars, kung saan marami ang binawian ng buhay, at marami pa rin ang hindi pa natatagpuan o hindi pa naiahon ang mga bangkay hanggang sa ngayon. Dagdag pa ang panibagong hadlang sa retrieval operations: ang kargang nakalalasong kemikal ng nasabing barko. Hindi ko mapigilang mainis sa pamunuan ng Sulpicio Lines sa pagiging iresponsable nila. Paumanhin sa ginamit kong salita pero sa tingin ko, yun ang makakapaglarawan sa kanila. Naging pabaya sila. Hindi man lang nila inisip ang kaligtasan ng mga taong ang hangad lamang ay makatulong. Paano na lamang kung hindi pa nalaman na may lason pala at nagpatuloy ang retrieval operations at tuluyan ng tumagas at nalanghap ng rescue divers yung kemikal, e di mas marami pang biktima? Sana naman maisip ng mga taong may katungkulan ang mga ganung posibilidad. Hindi ko rin masisi kung bakit ganun na lamang ang galit ng mga kamag-anak ng mga biktima sa nasabing trahedya. Sana lang hindi na talaga maulit ang mga ganung uri ng aksidenteng dulot ng kapabayaanan ng iilan.

Kahapon, nabanggit kong when it rains, it pours. (ang hirap ng pure tagalog. hehe. taglish na lang uli ha? feeling ko isa itong pormal na sulatin e. well, hindi naman ito graded so okay lang na tamang kwento lang ako. ^_^) Kung iisipin natin, parang wala ngang magandang dulot ang ulan. Pero gaya ng lahat ng bagay, may mabuting epekto din ito. At syempre, yun ang sisikapin kong i-explore.

Ang galing lang kasi during the previous weeks, I've been reading the Book of Job, tapos early this week, nakita ko yung Kerygma magazine sa UP chapel, at sabi ko nga hindi aksidenteng nakita ko yun, kelangan kong basahin yun, well, true enough, marami nga akong natutunan from it. Amazing how everything seems to be connected. The Book of Job, the Kerygma magazine, the rain, and my recent experiences, particularly, my struggles.

The article that caught my attention was: Why me, Lord? (When Good People Experience Suffering) by Bishop Soc Villegas (he was still Msgr. that time - March 1999). Habang binabasa ko yung article, kinakausap ko rin si God. Nakakamangha kasi kung paano Niya pinapadala sken ang mga mensahe Niya. Would you believe that in the said article, Bishop Soc also used Job as an example? I quote, "In the Book of Job, we can see that Job, a righteous man, was fenced in by human sufferings. He went bankrupt. He was deserted by friends. He said to himself, "God has struck me and the devil has fenced me in. My only way out is death." Many of us can identify with Job..." Galing diba? Consistent si God sa message Niya. And when He teaches a lesson, siguradong tatatak sa puso't isipan naten kasi paulit-ulit Niyang ipapa-realize sa atin yun. God is undeniably the best teacher because He makes sure that we will learn our lesson. Hindi Siya napapagod ulit-ulitin sa atin yung mga dapat nating malaman. Amazing talaga. I wish I could post the whole article here but I would first have to ask permission from the author. But I think it would be ok if I would just quote him. Anyway, published naman yung article sa isang magazine e and besides, it is good news that I'm spreading, diba po? ^_^

Having said that, let me now share my realizations.

Bishop Soc said, "Even Jesus suffered." That's exactly what I tell myself and my parents every time we experience pain. At kung tutuusin, hindi naman Niya dapat naranasan yun. I remember Father Rabonza. Years ago, during a Holy Week mass, he asked us to stand up, bend our knees, and spread our arms. That was his homily. We were in that position for not less than 20 minutes while he was giving his sermon. He asked, "masakit ba? nahihirapan na ba kayo? isipin nyo si Hesus. mas matindi pa dyan ang pinagdaanan Niya bilang parusa sa kasalanang hindi naman Niya ginawa." Nakapikit kame nun pero alam kong lahat ng tao sa simbahan ay tumutulo na hindi lang ang pawis, kundi pati na rin ang luha. Nakakahiya. Kung makareklamo tayo sa Diyos, ganun na lang, pero kung tutuusin, mas unfair nga yung nangyari kay Hesus. Sabi pa ni Bishop Soc, nagsimula raw ang suffering ni Jesus hindi sa pagharap Niya kay Pilato o sa paghuli sa Kanya, kundi sa Huling Hapunan. "Yes, there was no nailing, no scourging, no crowning with thorns during this event. But there certainly was psychological anguish which the Lord was going through. And this was actually more painful than the physical pains that He had to endure when the Stations of the Cross began." i definitely agree. emotional pain is a lot harder to deal with than physical pain. it cannot be healed by any pain reliever. a wounded heart bleeds more than a wounded skin. at mas masakit yun kasi hindi mo naman pwedeng lagyan ng betadine or band aid ang puso, diba? Bishop Soc added, "We can identify the pains of the Lord with our own pains. Most of us may not suffer materially but the comfort that money can bring is nothing once we know the pain and anguish of being betrayed by a friend." whew! enough said. betrayal is the most painful of all hurts, i think.

[lumabas ako saglit para kumain at naabutan kong nagpapatay ng lamok ang kapatid ko. napag-usapan lang namin, ano nga ba ang silbi ng mga lamok? lahat ng bagay, tao, hayop, at halaman ay may silbi? pero ang lamok, bukod sa magdulot ng sakit, ano nga ba ang mabuti nilang pakay? natuwa ako sa sagot ng kapatid ko, "alam ko na ang silbi ng mga lamok, para matutong maglinis ang mga tao." ^_^]

"Every day we suffer." Mula sa paggising sa umaga, hanggang sa pagtulog naten sa gabi, we all experience sufferings of all kinds - may simple, may komplikado, may mabigat, may magaan. At ang katotohanan, we suffer because we belong to God. "It seems that the fate of those whom the Lord really holds close to His heart is to suffer the cross." The following is one of my favorite parts in the article. Kasi it talks of St. Teresa of Avila, my patron saint (Oct. 15). Naisip ko lang, what if I was named after her? Malamang ang nickname ko ay Tere. Umm.. Aiza na lang. Hehe. Anyway, here it is. The life of St. Teresa of Avila showed that she was persecuted even by Church authorities. She was misunderstood and maligned by her own confreres. She was distressed, she suffered dryness in her prayers for so many years. Finally, in prayer, she asked the Lord, "Why do You allow all these trials! Why do You allow all these persecutions to come to me!" And the Lord appeared to Teresa of Avila and said, "Teresa, that is how I deal with My friends." And Teresa responded, "That is why You have few friends. To be Your friend means to suffer with You." Nung nabasa ko 'to, nasabi ko sa sarili ko, "ahh.. kaya pala.. pareho kame ng kwento ng patron saint ko. astig naman. now i understand." Eto yung kasunod na paragraph: Very clearly in the Gospel, the Lord tells us that His disciples, the first followers of the Lord, had to suffer the same fate, to be persecuted. Why? For only one reason: they were friends of Jesus. The Lord holds the cross very precious to His heart. And, therefore, He only gives His precious jewel to His precious friends. Unfortunately, His precious friends are us, so we have to suffer the consequences of our friendship with God. [sigh.] ang hirap no? pero that's how it is. "There is no explanation why people suffer. The only thing I can recommend is, when you see good people suffering, look at Christ on the cross. If you can understand why the Father allowed Jesus to suffer like that, then you would be able to understand why good people suffer." To end, (because my back aches already) let me quote, again, Bishop Soc Villegas. This will be a bit long. Pero kasi hindi ko na masasabi pa 'to in a better way. "..pain is only a means of joy. Death is only a means of life. Our sufferings are only means to our glory. We cannot attain glory, we cannot attain Easter Sunday, we cannot attain joy, unless we are willing to die, to allow the temple of our bodies to be destroyed, to allow our pride to be broken down, so that the Lord can raise us up again. [may naalala na naman ako, pag tinanong daw sa simbahan kung sinong gustong pumunta sa langit, lahat magtataas ng kamay.. pero kapag tinanong na ng pari kung sinong gustong mamatay, wala ng magtataas.. matagal ng joke 'to pero kung iisipin, totoo naman diba? ^_^] This is also the story of our lives. Sometimes we can say, "I live in a valley of tears." Sometimes we complain to God, "Dear God, I did not live a single day when I didn't cry. Dear God, I have not lived a day in my life when I wa not troubled or hurt." And yet brothers and sisters, we know that because we are hurt, because we are pained, we too, will rise again with the Lord. Although we cannot reverse the turning of the palm branches from fresh green to dry brown, we must not forget that for those who trust in God, even the driest of palms can turn fresh again.."

How is this related to rain? Well, the rain, just like the tears, though they are signs of pain and loneliness, cleanses, soothes, heals, relieves. Kapag umuulan, nalilinis ang paligid, nalilinis ang hangin, pero higit pa roon, nagkakaroon tayo ng pagkakataong manahimik, mag-isip, magnilay-nilay. Wala tayong magawa kundi manatili sa bahay, palipasin ang oras sa piling ng mga taong mahalaga sa atin. Ang ulan at ang bagyo ang nagbibigay sa atin ng pagkakataong makasama, makakwentuhan ang ating pamilya. Aminin man natin o hindi, masyado ng busy ang mga buhay natin. Halos may kanya-kanya na tayong mundo. Pero sa mga panahong malakas ang buhos ng ulan, baha sa labas, wala tayong choice kundi magstay sa bahay at bumalik sa "mundo" kung nasaan ang higit na mahahalagang bagay at tao.

The rain, the tears, the sufferings have one thing in common: they cause destructions, but they also lead to restoration and peace. We just have to be strong and always look forward to finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. ^_^

I hope I made sense. Hehe. Dumating na si Alpha, nood muna kameng Facing the Giants. Tapos punta na sa CLP. Hindi ako masyadong busy no? Hehe.

May isa pa pala akong gustong i-share: from the same article, Our greatest enemy is the sinful self, the old self that urges us to take the easy way out, the self that tells us to get over others, otherwise, they will make a fool out of you. The self that opts for revenge rather forgiveness.

end of post.

God bless everyone! ^_^

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