4 days before Christmas..

december 21.. you can't lose what you never had..

..sabi nga ng kanta.. hay.. life talaga minsan parang nakakaloko.. hindi mo alam kung pinaglalaruan ka ba o talagang pinagtitripan ka lang.. minsan parang mas pipiliin mo na lang sumuko.. kaso hindi pwede eh.. dahil 'pag ginawa mo yun, para mo na ring pinatunayaan na mahina ka nga.. according to a quote forwarded by a good friend of mine, 'life can only be summed up to 3 words: it goes on'.. at yun na lang din ang iniisip ko, nagpapatuloy ang buhay.. hindi pwedeng tumigil ang mundo mo dahil lang sa isang tao, sa isang pangyayari, sa isang pagkakamali, sa isang pagkabigo.. God cares.. 'no pain comes to us without a purpose'.. i would like to share this poem (from gian) to you.. it lifted my spirits up.. it might help you too..

God knows what's best for us so why should we complain?
We always want the sunshine, but He knows there must be rain
We love the sound of laughter and the merriment of cheer
But our hearts will lose their tenderness if we never shed a tear
God tests us often with suffering and sorrow
He tests us not to punish us but to help us meet tomorrow
So whenever we are in trouble and everything goes wrong
It is just God working on us to make out spirit strong

ang ganda di ba? ganun lang talaga ang buhay.. may mga taong paglalaruan ang damdamin mo.. pero matuwa ka pa rin kasi alam mong nagmahal ka.. problema na nila kung hindi nila pinahalagahan ang ipinakita mong kabutihan.. sabi nila masyado raw akong mabait kaya lagi na lang akong nasasaktan.. sobra raw ako kung magmahal kaya kadalasan, ako ang talunan.. minsan nakakapagtaka kung bakit bad things happen to good people.. bakit kung sino pa yung nagsisikap magpakabuti, sila pa yung sinusubok at pinauulanan ng mga problema at sama ng loob.. minsan hindi ko na rin maintindihan ang buhay.. basta ang alam ko lang, may dahilan ang lahat ng bagay.. may papel na gagampanan ang bawat taong nakikilala natin.. kung sinusubok tayo ngayon, ayos lang yan.. God loves us.. yun na lang ang paniwalaan natin.. easier said than done pero yun lang ang magagawa natin eh.. kahit na ilang beses pa tayong magreklamo at magtanong, wala rin namang mangyayari.. hindi naman mababawasan yung sakit na nararamdaman natin.. kaya let go and let God.. anyway, wala naman talaga tayong matatakbuhan pa kundi Siya lang..

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my grown-up Christmas list

dahil Christmas break ngayon, sasamantalahin ko na ang pagkakataong magpost ng marami sa blog ko.. i won't be able to do this as soon as classes resume.. besides, na-miss ko talaga ang blogging.. kung masyadong mabigat ang nauna kong post, medyo light naman 'tong susunod.. now that i'm 20, i have 20 wishes this Christmas.. remember the song "my grown-up Christmas list"? well, i have my own version of that.. and here's my grown-up Christmas list..

i wish that..

1. people would know God, believe in Him, and follow His commandments

2. people would have a heart like Jesus'

3. people would know the true meaning of the words "love", "commitment", and "responsibility"

4. more people would recognize the needs of others and be willing to share the blessings that they have to the less fortunate ones

5. people would be sensitive to what others feel (sana hindi nila paglaruan ang damdamin ng ibang tao)

6. people would be less self-centered, more caring, more concerned

7. people would let go of their foolish pride and learn the value of humility

8. the youth would care more about their future and not settle with the cheap satisfaction that they get from lustful acts

9. people would be good influences to others

10. people would realize that life on earth is temporary

11. government officials would realize that they were voted by the people and must therefore work for the people

12. professors and mentors would be role models and would serve as inspiration to their students

13. the guys would respect, love, and take very good care of the girls

14. there would be peace on earth.. (i'm serious!)

15. there would be no more hungry people, no more beggars, and that happiness and love shall reign

>>the next 5 are more personal

16. wish ko na sana matutong mag-reply ang mga tao..sana naman gumawa sila ng paraan para magparamdam lalo na pag important matters ang involved

17. wish ko na may magbigay sken ng Bible Diary for 2007 (seryoso din 'to)

18. wish ko na sana may isang tao (kahit isang tao lang) na willing akong samahan sa lahat ng pupuntahan ko..willing sabayan kung ano mang trip kong gawin.. posible ba 'yun? may mahanap kaya ako? wish nga eh..

19. wish ko rin na may mag-sponsor sken para makauwi ako sa iloilo..kung hindi this Christmas, sana sa summer..

20. most importantly, i wish that everyone would be appreciated.. sana maging totoo ang quote na 'to: "the effort we put into our relationships is equal to the measure of joy we receive from them" (minsan kasi, well in my case, most of the time, we don't get the love, the affection, and the appreciation we deserve.. lalo na pag tayo ang mas nagmamahal..)

so there.. i have listed the 20 desires of my heart.. and i better end this post now.. have a merry Christmas everyone! God bless!

blog post for dec 19

so many things have happened since the last time i updated this blog. let me share the biggest events in my life.. the most important ones..

nov 25 - baptism (SFC)
i can't explain the mystery behind the uncontrollable tears falling from my eyes as we were prayed over by the older members in the community. i felt like something heavy was laid on my head and my hands seemed to have been placed on top of a raging fire.. i just cried the whole night.. but it was one of the best nights in my life. something strange happened but at the same time, i felt closer to my batchmates.. we had dinner together and it was among the times when we had the strongest bonding as a batch.. everyone seemed happy and although we came home late, the fulfillment is still there, knowing that we're closer to God now more than ever..

dec 2 - musicale (SFC)
after about a month of practice, we finally presented the fruit of our labor - the cabaret. i can feel the tension among my co-performers and it didn't help me to relax and be calm.. it was like hell.. everyone's worried about the costumes, the props, and everything else.. but God has proven Himself for the nth time, He didn't leave us, He was just there. Although we weren't able to grab the award for the best performance, we still went home with smiles on our faces because we know that we have done our best for God's glory. ask about my transformation? sorry, but i'll end here. =D

dec 5 - tambay sa sunken with leonard, tweet2 friends, and baby vaughn
i was just so happy to be with the people i hold dearest to my heart.. i hope days like this would be forever.. i hope they won't end..

dec 9 - Lord's Day & Christmas Party (SFC)
need i say more? i have one word to describe the whole event: fun! =)
dec 15 - UP Lantern Parade (tweet2)
i was with my tweet2 friends the whole day.. one of the best memories in my university life..
first night of the misa de gallo..

dec 19 - 4th misa de gallo
i wasn't able to attend the anticipated mass yesterday evening because of the SFC practice for the caroling. good thing, a brother (sidh) offered to attend the 5am mass with me.. and just like a blessing in disguise, the mass turned out to be something fun and meaningful. during the homily, the priest taught us a song and according to him, the song summarizes the true meaning of Christmas.. it is entitled "Jesus is Beautiful" and it goes like this:

Beautiful, beautiful
Jesus is beautiful
Jesus makes beautiful
things of my life
Carefully
watching me
causing my eyes to see
Jesus makes beautiful
things of my life

the song gives us hope that Jesus would still make beautiful things in our ugly lives.. we may have turned away from God but Christmas is here to remind us that through Jesus, we could go back to the righteous way. As what the priest has said, no matter how ugly our ways have been, Jesus, who comes to us during Christmas, can change us and make us beautiful persons again, if only we let Him in.