8 May, Thursday
After saying my prayers, i asked for God's reply and His message was in Matthew 10 (Discipleship and Its Cost), particularly verses 16-26. Verse 16 says: "Behold I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore, be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." God is telling me to be careful with my decisions and be cautious in choosing the things that i'll do, think, say, and believe in. Life on earth is full of deceptions, very tricky. I should be wise enough to recognize what is good and what is evil. I was born to be a blessing, therefore I should do good and not harm. Like what I told Shy, the battle is still on, but we have prayers to keep us armed, and of course, God is with us. There's no way we'll ever lose. ^_^
9 May, Friday
Today has been a long day. My brother and I went to Jose Reyes Memorial Medical Center para sana magpa-schedule for CT scan. Unfortunately, hindi kaya ng budget namin. 7k lang yung allotted money for the procedure pero almost 9k yung sa Jose Reyes kaya hindi na lang. Nakakatuwa lang kasi habang nasa jeep kame, I was touched by a family na kasakay namin. Pinupunasan kasi ni Daddy yung likod ni Kuya habang kalong niya si Baby. Ang cute lang nila tingnan. I remember Papa doing the same thing when we were still young. Habang nasa jeep, I wasn't able to hold my emotions kaya I silently prayed for them. Sobrang na-touch kasi ako. I prayed na hindi magsawa si Daddy alagaan at mahalin ang mga anak niya at sana mas marami pang Daddy na gaya niya. ^_^
Tonight, after my prayer, I asked for God's message. He gave me Proverbs 21. I read the whole chapter but this verse hit me the most: Proverbs 21:23. "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles." Amazing how He's been consistent with His messages. This week, He has given me the standards for Godly living. I told Him I want to be Holy and so He's teaching me how to be one. He told me what I must and must not do to achieve Holiness. Ang galing no? He shapes us into the person He wants us to be. He really is "The Potter" and we are His clay.
10 May, Saturday
This is a special day because today is our Lord's Day! Sa totoo lang, one week na akong sinusumpong ng teribleng headache at pananakit ng tiyan. Kaya gusto na rin nina Mama na makapag-undergo na ako ng CT scan kasi sobrang dami ko ng nainom na malalakas na gamot. Sabi nga ni Papa baka raw naluluto na yung katawan ko sa gamot. Anyway, yun nga, hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko tapos maulan pa. Pero parang hinihila yung paa ko papunta sa simbahan. And another thing, my daughter Mel texted me saying how thankful she is and that she loves me and she misses me too. Hindi na ako nagpapigil. Sabi ko nga kay Mama, kahit naman hindi ako umalis, I'd still be in pain. So aalis na lang ako kasi alam ko something good will happen to me there. And I was right. It was all worth the pain. Ang galing nga e, pag-alis ko ng bahay, walang ulan. Pagdating ko sa church, biglang buhos ang malakas na ulan. Pero pag-uwi ko, malinaw na uli ang ulap. God really fixed everything para makarating ako sa Lord's Day. It was so fun singing with my beloved Music Ministry. Na-miss ko ring kumanta kasama sila. And the very reason why God brought me there: Ate Leah Gayundato. She was the speaker. Just a little background, the first time I listened to her was during our Tongues Workshop. Since then, I have become her avid fan. She also trained us when we were starting out as choir for the Sunday Mass dito sa Lifehomes. I have learned so much from her already. And tonight, she has inspired me again. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, she never fails to touch me every time she gives a talk. Ang galing lang talaga. I could hear God speaking through her. She told me something which I would forever carry in my heart. And I swear, by the time na mangyari yun, second to God, si Ate Leah ang higit kong pasasalamatan. Sa ngayon, secret na lang muna. *wink*
The talk was about transformation. And this is what I got from her: When you grow in love with the Lord, nagiging automatic na ang paggawa ng mabuti at pag-iwas sa kasalanan. Transformation comes from within and it starts with falling in love with God. Sabi pa niya, mahihiya ka ng gumawa ng mali kasi alam mong hindi yun magugustuhan ni God. And she also talked about offering our lives to the Lord and letting His will be done. Pati letting go and letting God. She also mentioned about failed relationships and the blessings that come with them. Sobrang naka-relate ako. Kasi true enough, the moment I stopped crying over a failed relationship and the many bad things that I've been through, that's the time when God revealed Himself to me. And that was the start of my new life, one which is definitely better, and definitely closer to Him. Tama si Ate Leah, persons are gifts. And even the wrong people, who have hurt me in so many ways, are blessings. Kasi I have learned a lot from them. And siguro kung hindi ko rin sila na-encounter at nakasama, maybe I wouldn't be this strong. May purpose talaga lahat ng bagay at lahat ng tao. Ang saya how God spoke through my favorite speaker. Dinala talaga ako ni God dun para makinig sa message Niya. After her talk, we had the renewal of our commitment, our covenant with God. My heart was beating fast while I was offering myself to the Lord and renewing my covenant with Him. Iba talaga yung pakiramdam pag si Lord ang minamahal. Sabi ko nga kay Melai, I feel na tinatama talaga ni God lahat ng mali sa buhay ko. He's molding me into someone He planned and willed me to be. Sa ngayon, nandun ako sa stage na I'm so deeply in love with God that I'm so eager to get rid of the bad things in my life and so determined to correct whatever is wrong with me so that I could be more pleasing to Him. I love God so much and I love loving Him. And I can't stop falling in love with Him. He's the sweetest, the greatest, the best, and the only thing perfect!
During my prayer time kanina, I just thanked Him for His perfect love and for everything He has taught me. I opened the Bible after saying my prayers, and He led me to Ezekiel 18. Again, consistent with His previous messages on how I should live my life.
Verses 5-9 say: "But if a man is just and does what is lawful and right; If he has not eaten on the mountains, nor lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, nor defiled his neighbor's wife, nor approached a woman during her impurity; If he has not oppressed anyone, but has restored to the debtor his pledge; has robbed no one by violence, but has given his bread to the hungry and covered the naked with clothing; If he has not exacted usury nor taken any increase, but has withdrawn his hand from iniquity and executed true judgment between man and man; If he has walked in My statutes and kept My judgments faithfully - He is just; He shall surely live!" Says the Lord God.
Amazing no? Consistent si God sa messages Niya. He answers our every prayers with what is best. ^_^
To end this post, I would like to share a simple poem from Shy. (sis, pagamit ng poem mo ha? hehe. thanks! mwah!)
If my heart can utter spoken words today, it will be praise and thanksgiving.
My heart is overjoyed by Your everlasting loving.
O Lord, reign in my heart always and forever,
And be my God till eternity.
Oops, hindi pa pala end. I still have some text messages to share. ^_^
*"I took some m&m's in the fridge this morning. Out of the blue, I didn't notice that some of it fell on the ground and broke into pieces. How nice. It made me think and I realized, even the sweetest things in life could break in a split second." (Didn't I tell you that everything in this world is temporary? That's a hard fact.)
*Whenever you want to know how rich you are, don't count your money. Cry. Then count the number of hands that will reach out to wipe your tears. (Talaga? Bakit wala namang nagpunas ng mga luha ko? Unan at diary ko lang ang sumalo ng lahat. Does that mean mahirap ako? Hehe. Tamang senti.)
*Starting all over again is not that bad; for when you restart, you get another chance to make things right. (Very true!)
*Every problem is a character-building opportunity. What happens outwardly in your life is not as important as what happens inside you. Your circumstances are temporary, but your character will last forever. (Agree!)
Yun na muna. Masakit na likod ng prinsesa. ^_^
God bless everyone! ^_^
I asked God to take away my pain. God said, "No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me." True enough, I am closer to Him. And life has never been this meaningful. ^_^
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