beautiful Lord, wonderful Savior.. [BIG IN GOD'S EYES]

14 May, Wednesday
again, God has never failed to surprise me and assure me that He loves me so much and that He will always be with me.

yesterday, he used cris to save me from what might have been a very painful situation. cris was such an angel. i almost fell in the evil's trap. but God didn't allow it to happen. sabi nga Niya, masyado na akong nasaktan, hindi na Siya papayag na masaktan pa uli ako ng kung sino lang. i am His beloved princess, and He will protect me from all the pains in this changing world (with changing people). ang galing talaga. i misunderstood His message at ginamit Niya si cris para ipaintindi sa akin kung ano talaga ang gusto Niyang sabihin. super na-amaze ako. galing! at nga pala, THANK YOU CRIS! ^_^ thank you for letting God use you. stay blessed and continue to be a blessing.

after my moment with Him, i asked God for His message and He gave me Isaiah 51:15-16 ("I am the Lord your God.. And I have put My words in your mouth; I have covered you with the shadow of My hand.") and Jeremiah 18:6 ("Look, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand."). affirmation that He's my God and that He protects me. and also an assurance that indeed, He is The Potter and we are His clay. "take me, mold me, use me, fill me... i give my life to the Potter's hand..." ^_^

today, overwhelming na naman ang blessings ni God. mama and i went to the Philippine General Hospital para magpa-schedule for CT scan. hay. ito ay isang mahabang kwento. hehe. kaya nga hindi ko nagawang ikwento through text e. *wink* by the way, salamat nga pala sa lahat ng nakatxt ko: shy, thothon, mars, binoy, alvin, boi, alpha, leyn, mark. ^_^

game. pagdating namin ng PGH, hinanap namin yung CT Scan syempre. sa kabilang building pa raw sabi ni manong guard. so lakad kame. pagdating namin dun, sabi ni ate, P11300 daw! waaaah! windang ako. sabi kasi nung tumawag ako P6300 lang e. kaya nga ako ginawan ng request ni Doc Tony para may discount. may dala akong form galing sa UP Health Service sa Diliman, pero sabi ni ate, hindi raw yun ang kelangan. may pinakita siyang form. yun daw ang dapat para ma-avail ko yung P6300. so umalis na kami ni mama. kasi naman wala kameng ganun kalaking pera. sabi ko nga P7000 lang ang budget namin. naglalakad kame palabas, badtrip na si mama. bakit daw ganun yung binigay na form saken sa Diliman. ako naman, nag-iisip lang. "hindi ba talaga pwedeng ma-avail ko yung discount? may ID naman akong dala." tumigil ako. sabi ko kay mama babalik ako, kakausapin ko uli yung babae. baka naman pwede. ayaw na sana ni mama kasi napapagod na siyang maglakad at badtrip na nga siya. sabi ko upo na lang siya dun, ako na lang ang babalik. pero sumama pa rin naman siya. pagdating ko sa window, sabi ko, "ate, hindi po ba talagang P6300 lang? may dala naman po akong ID." sabi ni ate, hindi daw talaga. kuha raw muna ako ng request form sa Health Service. tapos tanong ko, "babalik pa po ako ng Diliman? eto (form) lang po kasi yung binigay sken dun e." sabi niya, "hindi na. dito lang. sa Health Service." she was referring to the UP Manila Health Service. whew! para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan. syempre ganun din si mama. ang problema, nagkanda-ligaw-ligaw kame. ang dami kasing direksyon na tinuturo e. tapos 11:30 na. pero go pa rin. sabi ng isang guard, sa kabilang building pa raw. sa tabi ng DOJ. so lalabas pa kame ng PGH. hay. pero sige lang. habang nagmamadali kameng maglakad ni mama, nakasalubong namin si JAYSON. classmate ko siya dati sa Art Studies 2, kay Sir Gerry. naging groupmate ko rin siya. buti na lang kilala pa niya ako sa mukha, pero di na niya matandaan pangalan ko. hehe. ok lang, hirap kasing bigkasin e. 1st year Med siya sa UP Manila. tapos yun nga, sabi ko kelangan ko ng request form for CT scan. ayun, tinuro niya kung saan kame pupunta. hindi na pala lalabas ng PGH. pasaway si manong guard. hehe. pero ok lang. at least, nagkita pa kame ni Jayson. ang galing talaga. pagpasok namin, tinuro kame sa nurse. tapos may form na pinasulatan. tapos sabi niya, balik na lang daw ako ng 1 o 1:30 kasi lunch break na. e may therapy pa ako. pero sabi ko bahala na. habang nakaupo kame at nag-iisip ni mama, sabi ng nurse, ipipila na rin daw niya yung papel ko. praise God talaga! kasi tinanggap pa ako! ang galing di ba? ako yung last patient. salamat kay ate nurse at kay doc. kaya lang, hindi pa rin ako na-schedule. kasi kelangan pa ng BUN at creatinine result. hindi na raw pwede yung dati kong result kasi one month na. 2 weeks lang daw ang validity ng lab results. so yun, balik pa ako. dapat dun na ako magpapa-lab kaya lang super haba ng pila sa cashier. 1pm na. kelangan na naming pumunta sa POC. kaya umalis na kami ni mama. bumili lang kame ng makakain sa jeep tapos biyahe na uli. sakto lang, 2pm kame dumating sa POC. ilang minuto lang, start na ng therapy. after nun, tsaka lang ako nakakain nang matino. si mama kasi kumain na habang hinihintay ako. whew! what a day talaga. pero ayos lang, God has been with us naman e. at ang pinakamaganda dun, may nabasa akong magazine habang naghihintay sa Health Service. hehe. luma na siya, pero may magandang article. at syempre, kinopya ko talaga. salamat sa In His Steps na lagi kong dala. may space kasi dun for notes e. ^_^ here's the article taken from the said magazine (Misyon):

Let Us Take Care that We Hate No One (St. John Chrysostom)
Two things are required of us, here and now: to acknowledge our sins and to forgive others; the first so that the second may become easier. For someone properly aware of his own behavior and its shortcomings will be the more forgiving to his fellow humans. And that does not mean forgiveness in words merely, but from the heart, lest in our resentment we turn the sword on ourselves. The more he has injured you, the greater the forgiveness of your own sin, in consequence.

Let us take care that we hate no one, so that God may still love us; so that even though we may be owing Him a thousand talents, He may yet be generous and merciful to us. Has someone offended you? Be merciful to him, then, do not hate him, weep and lament for him, but do not show aversion. For it is not you who have offended God, but he; you will do well to put up with it. Recall how Christ was content to be crucified - and yet shed tears over those who did it. That must be your disposition also; the more you are wronged, the more you must lament for the wrongdoer. For it is we who profit from this - and greatly - but not they.

ang ganda no? hehe. wala lang. nagandahan ako e. ^_^ eto pa, some quotes, galing din sa magazine:

"Commitment is the courage to face the rising sun with the promise to be there at its setting." -Sr. Joan Chittister

"Peace won by compromise of principles is a short-lived achievement." -Anonymous

and i was also able to read a poem dedicated to a British soldier who was killed in action. hindi ko na nakopya kasi tinawag na ako e. pero ang tanda ko, based siya sa John 15:13 which says, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

ayun lang. full of teachings ang araw na ito. kapagod. pero it was all worth it. again, living for God and with God makes life worthwhile. ^_^

after saying my prayers, God gave me Isaiah 58:9. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer, you shall cry, and He will say, "Here I am." ang galing, this is an affirmation that God is always with us, we will never be alone. ^_^
last na: from In His Steps, "Pain is inevitable; misery is an option." ^_^

15 May, Thursday
happy birthday jaypee! ^_^

whew! long day uli. pero ayos lang. dami na namang surprise si God. i woke up early and went to UP Health Service in Diliman for my lab test. mahal kasi dito sa malapit samen, P400! kamusta naman yun diba? dalawang test lang yun. naisip ko ring kunin na yung classcard sa psych at yung yearbook kung may tao sa Inhinyero office. alpha and i agreed to meet at the Infirmary, 9:30am. salamat talaga kay alpha na forever maaasahan. ^_^ ang plano ko sana, ipa-rush yung blood test tapos tuloy na kame sa PGH, pero iba pala plan ni God. sabi ng Med Tech, hindi raw pwede rush kasi matagal daw gawin yung test so bukas ng umaga ko pa talaga makukuha. by the way, P28 lang ang binayaran ko for the two tests. ang mura diba? yan ang kinaganda ng pagka-delay ko sa graduation. ^_^ anyway, nakuhaan na ako ng dugo, wala pa rin si alpha, kaya kumain na lang muna ako. pagdating niya, sabi ko, hindi na kami tuloy sa PGH kasi bukas ko pa makukuha yung result. kaya kuha na lang kameng classcards. walang tao sa Inhinyero office, sabi ng isang staff, through text, sa Saturday pa raw. ayun. nagpasama na lang si alpha si SM North. may pinapabili raw kasi si ate lady. nakakatuwa lang, tamang bonding lang kame ng aking "heelz". ^_^ tapos kumain kame sa Bodhi, ang saya, puro veggies. deceiving, yung tapa nila, tokwa. hehe. parang meat talaga, nakakaloko. hehe. pero masarap. try niyo rin. ^_^ tamang promote ako diba? hehe. wala lang.

habang kumakain kame, may tumawag sa phone ko, from P&G, ang gandang surprise na naman. ipapakuha raw niya yung exam result ko sa engg admin para ma-recheck niya. kaya pala bukas ko pa makukuha yung result ng lab test kasi kelangan ko rin pala talagang pumunta sa UP para ibalik yung exam ko. ang saya. ang galing no? perfect talaga yung plans ni God. eto pa, nagtext si Kuya Don sken. sabi niya, kinukwenta daw niya yung pamasahe niya papuntang shaw. tapos huminto daw sa tapat niya yung bus ni papa. o dba? libre na siya. ang galing ni God! He is praiseworthy indeed! ^_^

isa pa, tamang basa kame ni alpha sa national bookstore. syempre, naghanap na naman kame ng book ni Nicholas Sparks. hehe. at ako, ng Catholic Bible. ang mahal pala. pero alam ko God will provide. habang tumitingin-tingin kame ng mga libro, napansin ko yung book ni Billi Lim. Dare to Change. ang alam ko lang na book niya e yung Dare to Fail pero yun nga, may bago siya. tapos ang ganda pa nung quote sa cover. Change is to give up what you are to become what you could be. at nakaka-amaze kasi nagtext ang aking twin sister na si shy. sabi niya, bago raw siya umalis ng office, nagpost daw sya sa blog niya about "change" tapos nag-forward din ako ng message about "change". hehe. hindi lang kame twin sisters, amazing twin sisters pa. ^_^ by the way, P160 lang yung book. umm, bili kayo, tapos pahiram ako ha? hehe.

isang mahabang araw na naman ang malapit ng matapos. nakakapagod, pero masaya. bukas, alam ko marami pang 'pasalubong' at surprises si God. i'm so excited. ^_^

"Pakawalan mo ang mga bagay na nakakasakit sa'yo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Huwag mong hintayin yung araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo." -Bob Ong-

"You are free to make your choices, but you are not free to choose the consequences."

"Keep in mind that the Father who corrects us knows where we are headed. He wants to keep our vision unclouded so He can lead us to the life He has set aside for us. Allow God's correction to be the greatest affirmation of His love and hope for your life."

"You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there." (believe me, ang lalim ng wisdom ng quote na 'to. think about it. ^_^)

"Trusting God in everything is the softest pillow on which to rest, and the hardest rock to stand on."

~In the end, only three things matter: how fully you lived, how deeply you loved, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.~

"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them." -Psalm 145:18-19-

16 May, Friday
"The greatest success is to become the person God has intended you to be." -In His Steps-
[Let's continue to live our lives for God and allow Him to be 'The Potter' who molds us, 'The Clay.']

"I feel it when I sorrow most: it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." -Alfred Lord Tennyson-
[nabasa ko lang sa Papemelroti sa Robinson's Place Manila. ^_^]

today wasn't as good as the previous days. i am so tired. medyo foul at depressing pa yung mga sinabi ng resident doctor sa isang government hospital na pinuntahan namin ni alpha. naluha talaga ako. lalo na nung tinawagan ko yung doctor ko. ramdam ko kasi yung worry niya saken at yung inis na rin sa doctor sa nasabing hospital. i decided to go to Quiapo. i know i'll find comfort din. kasama ko pa rin si alpha. ang galing talaga. kasi ang sabi ni God sa Gospel, "Whoever wishes to come after Me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me." [Mark 8:34] at sabi ng pari sa Quiapo, everyday requirement daw yun. Deny yourself, take your cross, and follow the Lord EVERYDAY. i remember the song, "Everyday" - everyday, its You i live for, everyday, i'll follow after You, everyday, i'll walk with You my Lord. wala lang. medyo naging mabigat lang yung cross ko ngayon. pero sabi nga ni Lord, "I will be with you until the end of time." at kung tutuusin, wala pa ring mas bibigat sa cross na binuhat ni Jesus para lang ma-save tayo. while on the bus, i'm singing "Need". I am grateful for the cross, my source of strength in my life's cause. I will embrace it everyday, grace me to live day by day. You, Lord, are all that I need, with all my mind and my deed. With You, my life is complete, in Your love, in Your hands, I'll live.

17 May, Saturday
sobrang daming blessing pa rin. dito natulog si alpha, at nag-worship kame kanina gamit ang Hillsong CD na pinahiram ng aking twin sister na si Shy. ^_^ and the best part of today, MMLA (Metro Manila Leaders' Assembly)! ang saya! sobrang cool ng speaker, si Brother Arun Gogna. ang galing! tawa lang kami ng tawa pero may substance lahat ng sinabi niya. it was about God's love. let me share with you my notes. salamat uli sa In His Steps, may napagsulatan ako. hehe.

Understanding God's Love (Isaiah 43:1 and 4)
But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.
Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved You."
*There is a big difference between knowing and understanding (alam versus nauunawaan). In times of crisis, you do not do what you know, you do what you understand. When we only know that God loves us, we tend to run away from Him during trials and hardships; but when we understand that God loves us, we come to Him for comfort in times of need.
It's not enough that we know God loves us, we should UNDERSTAND that GOD LOVES US!
The 5 truths about God's love:
1. God's love is creative (malikhain). Consider our bodies, the Earth and everything in it. The whole of creation is a proof of God's love. Life, being a creation of God, is beautiful despite the so many hardships. We just have to focus on the goodness of everything. Remember: what you focus on, grows! Don't focus on the miseries but the blessings and the little miracles that happen everyday.

2. God's love redeems us from fear. God assures us that WE ARE NEVER ALONE. The opposite of fear is not courage, but love. Perfect love drives out fear. If you are afraid, fill yourself with the love of God. ^_^

3. God's love echoes our name throughout all creation. God calls us by name. Our name is our name for eternity. (Nakakatuwa yung sharing niya dito. About a guy named 'Pambihira'. hehe.)

4. God's love makes us belong. (Kelangan pa bang i-explain 'to? ^_^)

5. God's love makes us special. (He shared a story about an important basketball game during his time.) God is our Father. He created everything. Jesus is our brother. He died to save us from our sins, what else can He not do? There's no need for us to be afraid and worry about life. Because we are special, and we are God's children. We must remember who we are, who we REALLY are. Hindi lang tayo basta tao. Anak tayo ng Diyos at kapatid natin si Hesus. That's what we should always keep in mind. We are special. WE ARE BIG IN GOD'S EYES.

we were asked to stand up, close our eyes, and picture Jesus in front of us. you know the image that came to my mind? i saw myself kneeling before the Lord. and He held my hand, let to stand and embraced me tightly. as i was listening to Brother Arun's song, i felt the tears flowing. because i really felt Jesus' warm hug and i was comforted. i couldn't really express the overwhelming joy and the different kind of peace. it was truly a special moment. and i am thankful that i was there to experience it.

here's the song which Bro. Arun taught us. and this song is indeed a blessing.

Big in God's eyes. That's who I am.
Like the birds in the sky, that fly so very high.
They don't have to worry.
I don't have to worry.
Because, I'm BIG IN GOD'S EYES.

i hope i remember it right. sobrang comforting talaga nung song. before Bro. Arun ended his talk, he showed us his 2 CDs (Ikaw Lamang and Big in God's Eyes) and his book, "Happy Secrets to an Obedient Life." at first, i thought he was just promoting his stuffs, but i was touched by what he said: "These are merely things, non-living things, and yet, they have been a blessing to others. Paano pa kaya kayo? You are living things, you could bless more than these things could. Touch other people's lives. Be a blessing." ang ganda diba? ^_^

i feel so blessed. i have already come to realize the above truths. God is so good because He affirmed to me my beliefs. kahit pa medyo napagalitan ako pagdating ko, late na kasi, okay lang. because i've been touched, i've been blessed, and i've gained so much learning from the event and from Bro. Arun. at isa pa, i was able to spend time with my brothers and sisters in the community, lalo na sina shy at thothon. at syempre, nakabili kme ng sling bag na may tatak ng SFC at ng book ni Bro. Arun. may kasama pang pic. hehe. salamat sa aking mahal na batch. natawa ako sa sinabi niya bago kame umuwi, "gusto mo ba talaga yung book?" i told him yes. tapos kumuha siya ng pera. "kelan mo babayaran?" sabi ko, "bukas." then he gave me the money. tapos habang pinapa-sign ko kay Bro. Arun, sabi niya, "aiz, gusto mo picture?" haha. ang saya talaga. sabi pa niya sken, "alam ko naman kasing hindi ka makakatulog mamaya e." hehe. he really knows me. he's truly a blessing. mula noon hanggang ngayon, super blessing talaga siya. and i am forever grateful that he's my 'batch'. this has been an outstanding day. ^_^

18 May, Sunday
happy birthday ralph and len flores! ^_^ (hindi po sila kambal. hehe. hindi nga sila magkakilala e. pareho lang ng surname.)

today, ang ganda rin ng message ni God. here's what i've gained from the homily. [by the way, the readings for today are: Exodus 34:4-6, 8-9, Deuteronomy 3, 2 Corinthians 13:11-13, and John 3:16-18.]

The Church is a Pilgrim Church, it is always moving, just as Jesus is always moving. We are on a journey. Our goal is the Trinity, wholeness. Knowledge of yourself = knowledge of God , the more you know yourself, the more you know God because God is in you. Let's not be Catholics merely by name but of no substance. Our responsibility is to be the light and salt of the world. We should bring light and flavor to the world. We must be living witnesses. We must be proactors, (reflecting before acting) and not reactors (acting without reflecting). Ang Banal na Santatlo ay mukha ng pag-ibig. Allow others to see Christ in you through your words and actions. Be a sign, be a blessing.

ang galing talaga! talk about God's consistency - His message is clear: BE A BLESSING!

wala lang, walang connection 'to pero matagal na kasing naka-save sa phone ko kaya share ko na rin. hehe.

gusto ko lang naman yung totoo, yung tipong ang sagot ay hindi rin isang tanong. -migraine, moonstar 88

ayun lang. hanggang sa muli. ^_^

remember, we are big in God's eyes. so smile and cheer up! life is beautiful. *power hug*

God is with us! ^_^

by the way, one final note: may na-realize lang ako. salamat kay shy kasi naalala ko. hehe. magka-txt kasi kame. wala lang. hiniram ko kasi yung CD niya (at nasa kanya rin yung CD ko) tapos ang plano ko, ipa-burn kay cris. nag-usap na kame. dapat kahapon, bili na akong CD sa CD-R King, buti na lang at nag-taxi kame kaya hindi na ako nakababa sa Galleria. God's will talaga yun kasi i learned an important lesson. PIRACY IS A CRIME. i know, gasgas na yung linya na yun. pero nakakahiya mang aminin, ngayon ko lang talaga naintindihan yun. at ngayon lang ako nakapag-decide na hindi na talaga mag-pirate ng kahit ano. so, no to burned CDs na - be it music or movie. tama si Sir Rom, kung mahalaga sa iyo ang isang bagay, pag-iipunan mo ito. simpleng lesson lang. pero mahalaga at seryoso. at salamat kay Bro. Arun dahil kagabi, nung pinakita niya yung CDs niya, sabi niya, "please don't burn them, because you'll burn in hell." sabay tawa. natawa na rin kame. pero yun talaga yung "wake up call" sa akin. ^_^