i live to sing Your song..

You are the center of it all,
The universe declares in awe
Your majesty
I surrender all
I make you
The centre of my life
Lord, I respond with all I am
you placed in me the song
Of heavens melody
Your Majesty
I live to sing Your song

Today is Corpus Christi Sunday. sabi sa Homily, when we take the Holy Communion, we say "AMEN" to signify our belief that indeed, the Host is the Body of Christ. And along with that belief comes the commitment to be a healthy part of Christ's body. May we not be a toothache to Jesus. And May God be the center of our lives for all eternity.

Bukas na ang Hillsong concert! I'm really praying that they will perform the song of my life, Centre of My Life.

God bless everyone! ^_^

happy birthday my dear owa!

the little things.. [Your Majesty, my life will sing Your song.]

Arun Gogna said, "what we focus on, grows!"
In our world today, it seems that nothing is right and everything is in chaos. We hear bad news every day. Murder. Robbery. Rape. Etc. Crimes are everywhere! But if we focus on these sad, devastating events, we won't be able to appreciate the little things that make life wonderful. I'm glad I was able to notice some of those little things. It was on the news yesterday. A parrot was brought back to its owner's home because he was able to tell his name and address. Isn't that cute and amazing at the same time? Also, yesterday morning, when Mama and I went out of the house, we noticed this very nice plant. Marami kasi sila na nakatanim sa iba't ibang lalagyan. Yung iba malapad yung bunganga, yung iba naman makitid lang. And you know what's amazing about them? Iba-iba rin ang tubo nila, according sa paso. I was just amazed how those plants adapted to their environment. They are the perfect example of the famous kasabihan, "Kapag maiksi ang kumot, matutong mamaluktok." Ang galing! If these plants are able to do that, paano pa kaya tayo? Wala lang. Just a thought. I found wisdom in those plants that's why I'm sharing it. ^_^
Last night, after my prayer time, God led me to Ezekiel 34. God the True Shepherd. Verse 31 says: "You are My flock, the flock of My pasture; you are men, and I am your God."
I'm working on something right now. I'll let you know once I'm done with it. ^_^

~*Your Majesty, I surrender all. I make You the center of my life.*~

difficult people..

i am subscribed to bo's blog. i mean bo sanchez. (and also to arun gogna's. hehe. i am not a fan of them, am i? ^_^) his recent post was about the difficult people in our lives. and i could really really relate. haha. i agree that everyone has a purpose and even the so-called "difficult people" have a very good reason why they exist. ^_^ let me share a story. i swear, this won't be long. hehe. there's this person Z who has been a headache to me. but i thank the Lord for Z because it was through Z that my brother and i were able to talk seriously. sorry, i can't tell if Z is a he or a she. basta. secret. haha. anyway, yun nga. through Z, arnold and i had a very good, intimate conversation. and i have come to know the deepest hurts that he has. i was given the chance to be a sister to him and to assure him that he's never alone. i wasn't aware of the pains he's going through, all i know is that he's a bit disappointed that he had to stop because my medication was top priority. it was only this week that we're able to talk about it. and thanks to Z. i won't tell the whole story as it was too personal and i'm already sick of issues. remember, bawal akong ma-stress. hehe. ang point ko lang is, there's no really difficult person. everyone has a purpose. a good purpose. i would suggest that you read bo's blog. log on to http://bosanchez.ph and subscribe to his newsletter. i swear, you'll learn a lot. ^_^
during his last post, he talked about the special gifts that difficult people give us. and i particularly could relate to gift # 4: Difficult people can bring you closer to God.
-Difficult people force you to pray a lot. ("Lord, help! I can't take it anymore!")
-Difficult people force you to trust in God. ("Lord, I give up! I've done everything but she's still a monster...")
-Praying for difficult people may not change them, but YOU will.
-"Your cross (difficult people) is your key to heaven..." St. Poveda
-You realize that YOU are God's difficult person - yet, you're still loved by Him!
ang ganda no?! galing talaga ni bro. bo. ^_^
ayun lang. share lang. can't help e. hehe.
God bless everyone! ^_^

text. text. text.

marami na naman akong naipong text messages. hehe. before i delete them (dahil no space na), share ko muna sa inyo. hindi naman lahat kayo napapasahan ko e. lalo na yung mga smart. hehe. biased talaga. halo-halo na 'to ha. di ko na ma-categorize e. hehe.

*Heavy rains remind me of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain, just pray for a better umbrella. [alpha]

*While it takes great courgae to stand and fight, sometimes it takes even greater courage to walk away and leave things in God's hands. [ate flory]

*In all things, always give thanks. You might not be where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be. If it hasn't happened yet, that doesn't mean it won't happen. A delay is not a denial from God; in His own time, He will make all things beautiful. [rowell]

*Whenever you don't understand what's happening in your life, you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, "Lord, I know its Your plan, I put my trust in Your hands." [shy]

*Train your mouth and heart until you can say the right words at the right time in the right way for the right reasons. [deo]

*You can't go back and make a new start. But you can start now and make a new end. [crix]

*Sometimes, there is no really difficult person. We just make loving difficult. [ate dhe]

*Sooner or later, start taking yourself seriously. Know when you need a break. Know what to get worked up about and what to get rid of. Do something that makes you stronger and more complete. Because it's never too late to have a life, and never too late to change one. [rowell]

*I believe in God like I believe in the sun. Not just because I see it, but because by it I can see everything else. [alvin]

*The most powerful monosyllabic ten word phrase goes like this: IF IT IS TO BE, IT IS UP TO ME. [rowell]

*When you're up, your friends know who you are. When you're down, you know who your friends are. [patrick]

*What makes life exciting? It's when you're given the strength and courage to fight a losing battle despite the fact that all you want to do is surrender. [jobert]

*There are two reasons why people don't talk about something: either it doesn't mean anything or it means everything. [jobert]

*They say time is a big healer. I say that's a lie. Because you would only be healed when you're decided to be cured. [jobert]

*You must not compare yourself to anyone except from the previous you. [jobert]

*I won't stop when I know I'm getting sick and tired of someone. I'll stop when I know I've already done my part. [jobert]

*It's tough when people start to leave you hanging. It's even tougher to pretend that you don't mind. [jobert]

*If you can't get over it, then don't. You have every right to torture yourself. [jobert] tama! hehe. kaya, go on. move on. let go. let God. ^_^

*God put you on this earth because no one else can do what you do the way you do it. BE THE UNIQUE PERSON HE INTENDED YOU TO BE. [patrick]

*The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are. -Dora the Explorer- [nap]

*You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth. [marshee]

*In times of confusion, in times when you are running out of choices, be reminded of one thing: PRAYER CHANGES THINGS. [aldwin]

*A boy was about to leave, but before he died, he gave his girl a dozen of roses. 11 was real and 1 was artificial. He told the girl, "don't cry, I will love you until the last one dies." [patrick] aww.. super touched talaga ako. haha. hindi naman halatang paborito ko 'to diba? hehe.

someone asked me sa text: does your faith depend on your feelings/emotions or on God's truth?

ang sagot ko: on God's truth syempre. feelings and emotions change. but God's truth is constant and eternal. ^_^

~...just live your life with God inside, you won't regret one moment of it...~

negative ako sa h.pylori! ^_^

ang saya talaga! gastric reflux na lang ang problema. clear na rin ako sa aneurysm. i guess. hehe. my therapy is extended for another 3 weeks. matagal daw kasing gamutin yung MPS at lumbar strain. pabalik-balik daw kasi yun. parang gastric reflux lang. yung scoliosis ko naman, wala ng magagawa dun kasi forever na yun, unless ipaopera ko. pero sabi ng doctor, no need for surgery na raw kasi 21 naman na ako. so hindi na lalala pa yun. ganun na lang talaga yun. i'm under medication now. 3 medicines for my tummy, 1 para sa muscles. maraming bawal. bawal mamantika, maasim, spicy, masarsa. may discomfort din ako sa milk kaya bawal din. pati coffee, tea, at softdrinks. water at gatorade lang ang iniinom ko. pero ayos lang naman. sabi ng ortho, bawal daw akong mapagod, mapuyat, ma-stress, ma-tension, magalit, mainis, at magkaroon ng matinding emosyon dahil lalala yung MPS at lumbar strain ko. in short, magpapakamanhid muna ako. hehe. kaya kahit anong mangyari, kahit anong marinig, makita, maramdaman ko, smile pa rin. idadaan ko na lang sa tawa. hehe. ang saya rin kasi i gained 3 pounds. konti lang yun pero ok na rin. basta sundin ko lang lahat ng bilin ng mga doctor ko. ^_^ ang galing talaga ni God. indeed, He is the Divine Healer!

ang saya rin kasi ang dami kong good news na natanggap from the dearest people i've been praying for. si mars, maraming options sa work. and she's really doing well in all her interviews and exams. we're just praying for the best talaga at yung will ni God. si velle, sabi niya nagkaroon daw ng maraming pagbabago sa life niya ngayon. she doesn't worry anymore. si shy, mas inspired sa work niya ngayon at nagiging ok talaga yung relationship niya with her clients. si wewe, ga-graduate na. ang saya talaga! God is really faithful to those who love and serve Him. ^_^ sabi nga ni jat, masarap daw talaga mag-serve kay Lord, at tama siya dun. isa rin yun sa mga pinagpapasalamat ko. kasi magkasama sila ni melai sa service sa rehab. i am really happy to see them both growing in faith. sabi nga sa Psalm 37:4 (thank you twin sis!), "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." iba talaga pag si God ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay natin. and i made this vow with Him: I will live and die for You, my God and my Savior.

at eto pa, talk about God's consistency: during the previous week, eto ang message ni God saken through the Bible.

*Psalm 19:14. "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer."

*Mark 9:23. Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes." (Reminds me of the ABC's of prayer: Ask. Believe. Claim.)

eto pa, from In His Steps: "Pray unceasingly. Results will come in His time." (A delay is never a denial from God. ^_^)

ang galing di ba? God is great talaga. He's perfect. He's the best. and i love Him so much! ^_^

here are some of His other surprises:

-> last wednesday, during my therapy, nakita ko si ojie. he's one of the interns who handled me before. sa ibang department siya pero nakakatuwa lang kasi at least nagkita pa rin kame. nagulat nga ako e. tapos si ms. ronsie nang-asar. hehe. wala lang. kumportable na talaga ako sa POC. parang 2nd home ko na yun. hehe. tapos ang galing pa ng humahawak saken ngayon, si carol. sana siya uli sa monday. ^_^

-> habang nag-aabang kame ng jeep ni mama kanina, may dumaang tricycle. tapos bumaba yung lolo. tapos sabi nung dalawang apo niya sa loob ng tricycle, "babye! yabyu!" hehe. ang cute talaga. natuwa ako. bulol pa sila kasi maliliit pa e. nakakaaliw.

-> kinuwento ni jat si owa. that kid never fails to make me smile. he's so special talaga. gusto ko na ngang ampunin e. hehe.

-> may ticket na rin si alpha for the Hillsong concert. thanks to shy! yehey! ^_^

-> nanalo si david cook! haha! at nakita ko uli magperform si jason castro. grabe, ang saya! JC at DC talaga ako! ^_^

marami pa. pero baka hindi na ako matapos kung ililista ko lahat. hehe.

3 tulog na lang, Hillsong concert na! yey! i'm so excited. ^_^

to end this post, i would like to share a verse i read last night after my prayer time.

a comforting verse to those who are in pain: Sorrow is better than laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better. -Ecclesiastes 7:3-

~*The greatest thing in life is finding someone who knows all your mistakes and shortcomings, yet still finds you absolutely amazing.*~ [i have found that Someone. i have found God! ^_^]

P.S. please pray for my brother. exam niya today. his only chance to get back to school. thank you! ^_^

How To Survive... (wala yung test sa UP Infirmary)

20 May, Tuesday 3:32PM

Just a little background. Mama and I went to Pineda to consult another doctor. You know, "second opinion". I woke up at 5am and we arrived there at around 630. Sobrang haba na ng pila at number 44 na ako. My number was called at 9:45am. I was given 3 new medicines, and was asked to undergo a certain test. Hindi na CT Scan, pero libo rin ang halaga. Hopefully meron sa UP Infirmary, para may discount. ^_^ [So Mommy, mali pala yung sagot ko sa'yo kahapon. Yes, I'm still under medication.. na naman. Hehe. At may oras talaga. Kaya mababago na naman ang aking lifestyle. Pero keri lang. I believe it would be better. ^_^]

Anyway, when we got home, kumain lang ako tapos natulog na. I swear, sobrang antok pa talaga ako. Cris knows that. Tanong nga niya kung magaling daw ba yung doctor (para pagtyagaan kong pilahan), sabi ni Mama, magaling daw. God knows best. Mothers know better. I know good. Hehe. Just kidding. =p

My brother woke me up kasi may dumating na bisita si Mama, at dahil wala pa siya, bumili ng gamot ko, ako muna ang nakipag-usap. At hindi na ako nakatulog. So syempre, naghanap ako ng pagkakaabalahan. I went through some old stuffs and found something that caught my attention. It was an article I wrote for the Engineering Society (which I was once part of) Newsletter more than two years ago. Just thought of sharing with you. ^_^

Disappointments: How to Handle Them*

As human beings, we can't deny the fact that at some point in our lives, we have been disappointed either with a person around us or with the situations that we're in. Some of us could have asked questions such as “why am I trapped in this family?”, “why am I not as talented as the other person?”, “why don't I have a boyfriend/girlfriend until now?” And maybe others have told themselves things like “no one really notices me, nothing I say/think is significant”, or “I don't like the way I look.” These statements are all caused by disappointments in the family, self-image, significance, talents and abilities, and romantic relationships. In order for us to overcome these frustrations, we must first track down their root causes.

Disappointments usually come as a result of discontentment. We seek something more beyond what we already have. We tend not to appreciate the little things that really matter. And if things don't go the way we want them to, we end up discouraged and dispirited. But what can we do? We're merely humans, born imperfect and fragile – yes, that may be right, but that doesn’t mean we're hopeless. We have to act and respond positively to our own disappointments. Everything definitely happens for a reason, and even the lowest points in our existence have their own lesson to impart. We don't need to be whiners, we must be winners! How? The Bible tells us everything we need to learn. First, we must realize that despite our flaws as humans, we are loved and cared for by a perfect Father and that we belong to an eternal family. So you don't have to worry about not having an ideal family here on Earth because we really do not belong here. Still be thankful that you have them. Besides, without our family, we wouldn't be here for sure. So why complain about them? Instead of thinking about their faults, why not reflect on how you could help in building a stronger and more harmonious relationship with them. Isn't that the best thing to do? Regarding self-image, why be insecure when all of us are created in the image of God? Of course we wouldn't all look the same, we're human beings, not clones. Let's just accept the fact that we are individuals possessing different traits and characteristics that make us unique. However big or small we are, in God's eyes, we are all beautiful. The feeling of insignificance is also something we must try to avoid, or I should say, 'we must avoid.' We are never alone, there's always God who hears our every cry. People may not see our worth, but God does. Talents? All of us are given special talents and abilities. These gifts can never be stolen. So why envy another person who sings better than you do? Who knows, you cook better than she does. =) We have to believe that our life is a gift from God. We do not lack any good thing from Him. It is natural for us to desire for a relationship but it doesn’t mean we have to be desperate. In God's time, the right person will come and all will be well.

Life on earth isn't perfect but we have the power to make it worthwhile. Our journey may be tough, but we can make it an adventure worth remembering. Live a happy life. Appreciate what you have. Most importantly, have a firm faith in God, in that way, you'll never be disappointed.

*From a Bible Study with the Campus Crusade for Christ Discipleship Group led by Ate Bon.

Ang haba rin pala. Hehe. By the way, may Biblical basis po yung article na ito. If you want to check on them, here's the list of the verses (and what they say). ^_^

1.Isaiah 49:15-16. Can a woman forget her nursing child and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.

2.Psalm 139:13-14. For You have formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.

3.Psalm 116:1-2. I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call upon Him as long as I live.

4.Romans 12:6-8. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, let us prophesy in proportion to our faith; or ministry, let us use it in our ministering; he who teaches, in teaching; he who exhorts, in exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

5.1 Corinthians 7:7. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.

Here's some more Survivor Lessons. Nakita ko lang din sa aking mahiwagang baul. Hehe. Umm, dati kasi, nung hindi ko pa natagpuan ang SFC, naging member muna ako ng CCC sa UP. My first ever “household head” was Kuya Jon. Then came Ate Jing, then Ate Bon, then Ate Quel. Eventually, all of us moved on and headed to some other path. The Lord led me to the community to which I belong now, Kuya Jon stayed with CCC, Ate Jing got married (that's what I heard), Ate Quel is now in the US. Marami ng nangyari sa mga buhay namin, hindi ko rin alam kung makikita o makakasama ko pa sila, pero ang alam ko at sigurado ako, they will always be part of who I am now and who I will be. The things that I learned from them will always be with me for all time. ^_^ Anyway, eto na yung iba pang “How To's.”

How to Survive a Stressful Schedule:

To survive stress, be an ANT.

Proverbs 6:6-11. Go to the ant, you sluggard! Consider her ways and be wise, which, having no captain, overseer or ruler, provides her supplies in the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest. How long will you slumber, O sluggard? When will you rise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep – so shall your poverty come on you like a prowler, and your need like an armed man.

*Analyze the root cause of your stress.

*Note down your goals.

-What do I want to be or do in my lifetime?

-How do I want to be remembered at the end of 15 years?

*Time your activities wisely.

-What are the NON-NEGOTIABLE tasks and people who require your time? This will allow you to determine what your priorities are and to develop good habits.

-Determine which activities you will commit to do everyday, weekly, monthly, and yearly. This will help you to properly plan your day, month, and year.

-Make a schedule. Buy a planner, calendar, and write down everything you need to do.

How to Survive a Broken Heart: (Naku, maraming makakarelate! Haha! Buti na lang, tapos na ako dito. Hehe. Pero share ko rin ibang experience ko. Yung iba lang. Haha. Umm, nga pala, naisip ko lang, kayo na lang magbasa kung anong sinasabi ng verses. It's a good time to reflect din. ^_^)

Psalm 34:18. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a contrite spirit.

1.EXPOSE your heart to God.

*God cares deeply for people in pain. (Psalm 34:18)

*Jesus feels everything that you are going through. (Hebrews 4:15)

We must always remember that we are understood and our feelings are validated. Jesus sympathizes with us. Remember, He too, wept. (John 11:35)

2.EXPRESS your pain.

*Share it with people you trust. (Matthew 26:38) [I did!]

*Allow yourself to cry. (Genesis 43:30 & John 11:35) [Who says crying is bad? Wala siguro siyang emosyon. Hmp! Hehe. May ganun? Wala lang. Sanay na akong masabihang 'bata' dahil sa pag-iyak ko. Pero I don't care. Hindi naman sila nakakaramdam ng nararamdaman ko e. Peace! ^_^]

*Know that your pain is not permanent. (Psalm 30:5 & Ecclesiastes 3:4) [Very comforting yung verses na 'to. At isa pa, yun nga, nothing in this world is permanent.]

3.EXPECT to be a better person.

*You will be able to help others through their pain. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). [We all learn from experience diba nga? I would like to quote Bo Sanchez when he defined 'experience.' “Experience is not what happens to you. Experience is what you do to what happens to you.”]

*Going through pain can strengthen your character. (James 1:2-4, Romans 5:3-4, Colossians 3:13) [Agree! ^_^]

God never wastes a hurt. Again, everything happens for a reason. =)

It's been the rain
It's been the storms
It's been the days when I've been worn
That I have found You, Lord
That I have seen You, Father
It's in the pain
That I have grown
Through all the sorrow I have known
But if that's what it takes for You to lead me this far
Go ahead and break my heart.
-Kathy Troccoli-

Ang ganda di ba? Take it from me, sorrows bring us closer to God. And I already told myself, if I have to go through all of the pains this world could offer just to be nearer to the Lord, I would! Because God is worth living and worth dying for. ^_^ And now that I have grown so much in love with Him, I know my heart would never ever be broken because with God, I am complete.

How to Survive Your Imperfect Family:

3 Characteristics to Put On:

1.Humility.

*Proverbs 16:19
*Luke 15:18
*Proverbs 15:5
*Ephesians 4:32
*Proverbs 19:11

2.Obedience.

*Ephesians 6:1-3

3.Love.

*Romans 5:8

Ayun lang po. I would like to end this post with one of my favorite Hillsong songs. Ilang tulog na lang, concert na, I'm so excited! God bless everyone! Hanggang sa muli. ^_^

Through It All

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand

And lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

beautiful Lord, wonderful Savior.. [BIG IN GOD'S EYES]

14 May, Wednesday
again, God has never failed to surprise me and assure me that He loves me so much and that He will always be with me.

yesterday, he used cris to save me from what might have been a very painful situation. cris was such an angel. i almost fell in the evil's trap. but God didn't allow it to happen. sabi nga Niya, masyado na akong nasaktan, hindi na Siya papayag na masaktan pa uli ako ng kung sino lang. i am His beloved princess, and He will protect me from all the pains in this changing world (with changing people). ang galing talaga. i misunderstood His message at ginamit Niya si cris para ipaintindi sa akin kung ano talaga ang gusto Niyang sabihin. super na-amaze ako. galing! at nga pala, THANK YOU CRIS! ^_^ thank you for letting God use you. stay blessed and continue to be a blessing.

after my moment with Him, i asked God for His message and He gave me Isaiah 51:15-16 ("I am the Lord your God.. And I have put My words in your mouth; I have covered you with the shadow of My hand.") and Jeremiah 18:6 ("Look, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand."). affirmation that He's my God and that He protects me. and also an assurance that indeed, He is The Potter and we are His clay. "take me, mold me, use me, fill me... i give my life to the Potter's hand..." ^_^

today, overwhelming na naman ang blessings ni God. mama and i went to the Philippine General Hospital para magpa-schedule for CT scan. hay. ito ay isang mahabang kwento. hehe. kaya nga hindi ko nagawang ikwento through text e. *wink* by the way, salamat nga pala sa lahat ng nakatxt ko: shy, thothon, mars, binoy, alvin, boi, alpha, leyn, mark. ^_^

game. pagdating namin ng PGH, hinanap namin yung CT Scan syempre. sa kabilang building pa raw sabi ni manong guard. so lakad kame. pagdating namin dun, sabi ni ate, P11300 daw! waaaah! windang ako. sabi kasi nung tumawag ako P6300 lang e. kaya nga ako ginawan ng request ni Doc Tony para may discount. may dala akong form galing sa UP Health Service sa Diliman, pero sabi ni ate, hindi raw yun ang kelangan. may pinakita siyang form. yun daw ang dapat para ma-avail ko yung P6300. so umalis na kami ni mama. kasi naman wala kameng ganun kalaking pera. sabi ko nga P7000 lang ang budget namin. naglalakad kame palabas, badtrip na si mama. bakit daw ganun yung binigay na form saken sa Diliman. ako naman, nag-iisip lang. "hindi ba talaga pwedeng ma-avail ko yung discount? may ID naman akong dala." tumigil ako. sabi ko kay mama babalik ako, kakausapin ko uli yung babae. baka naman pwede. ayaw na sana ni mama kasi napapagod na siyang maglakad at badtrip na nga siya. sabi ko upo na lang siya dun, ako na lang ang babalik. pero sumama pa rin naman siya. pagdating ko sa window, sabi ko, "ate, hindi po ba talagang P6300 lang? may dala naman po akong ID." sabi ni ate, hindi daw talaga. kuha raw muna ako ng request form sa Health Service. tapos tanong ko, "babalik pa po ako ng Diliman? eto (form) lang po kasi yung binigay sken dun e." sabi niya, "hindi na. dito lang. sa Health Service." she was referring to the UP Manila Health Service. whew! para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa lalamunan. syempre ganun din si mama. ang problema, nagkanda-ligaw-ligaw kame. ang dami kasing direksyon na tinuturo e. tapos 11:30 na. pero go pa rin. sabi ng isang guard, sa kabilang building pa raw. sa tabi ng DOJ. so lalabas pa kame ng PGH. hay. pero sige lang. habang nagmamadali kameng maglakad ni mama, nakasalubong namin si JAYSON. classmate ko siya dati sa Art Studies 2, kay Sir Gerry. naging groupmate ko rin siya. buti na lang kilala pa niya ako sa mukha, pero di na niya matandaan pangalan ko. hehe. ok lang, hirap kasing bigkasin e. 1st year Med siya sa UP Manila. tapos yun nga, sabi ko kelangan ko ng request form for CT scan. ayun, tinuro niya kung saan kame pupunta. hindi na pala lalabas ng PGH. pasaway si manong guard. hehe. pero ok lang. at least, nagkita pa kame ni Jayson. ang galing talaga. pagpasok namin, tinuro kame sa nurse. tapos may form na pinasulatan. tapos sabi niya, balik na lang daw ako ng 1 o 1:30 kasi lunch break na. e may therapy pa ako. pero sabi ko bahala na. habang nakaupo kame at nag-iisip ni mama, sabi ng nurse, ipipila na rin daw niya yung papel ko. praise God talaga! kasi tinanggap pa ako! ang galing di ba? ako yung last patient. salamat kay ate nurse at kay doc. kaya lang, hindi pa rin ako na-schedule. kasi kelangan pa ng BUN at creatinine result. hindi na raw pwede yung dati kong result kasi one month na. 2 weeks lang daw ang validity ng lab results. so yun, balik pa ako. dapat dun na ako magpapa-lab kaya lang super haba ng pila sa cashier. 1pm na. kelangan na naming pumunta sa POC. kaya umalis na kami ni mama. bumili lang kame ng makakain sa jeep tapos biyahe na uli. sakto lang, 2pm kame dumating sa POC. ilang minuto lang, start na ng therapy. after nun, tsaka lang ako nakakain nang matino. si mama kasi kumain na habang hinihintay ako. whew! what a day talaga. pero ayos lang, God has been with us naman e. at ang pinakamaganda dun, may nabasa akong magazine habang naghihintay sa Health Service. hehe. luma na siya, pero may magandang article. at syempre, kinopya ko talaga. salamat sa In His Steps na lagi kong dala. may space kasi dun for notes e. ^_^ here's the article taken from the said magazine (Misyon):

Let Us Take Care that We Hate No One (St. John Chrysostom)
Two things are required of us, here and now: to acknowledge our sins and to forgive others; the first so that the second may become easier. For someone properly aware of his own behavior and its shortcomings will be the more forgiving to his fellow humans. And that does not mean forgiveness in words merely, but from the heart, lest in our resentment we turn the sword on ourselves. The more he has injured you, the greater the forgiveness of your own sin, in consequence.

Let us take care that we hate no one, so that God may still love us; so that even though we may be owing Him a thousand talents, He may yet be generous and merciful to us. Has someone offended you? Be merciful to him, then, do not hate him, weep and lament for him, but do not show aversion. For it is not you who have offended God, but he; you will do well to put up with it. Recall how Christ was content to be crucified - and yet shed tears over those who did it. That must be your disposition also; the more you are wronged, the more you must lament for the wrongdoer. For it is we who profit from this - and greatly - but not they.

ang ganda no? hehe. wala lang. nagandahan ako e. ^_^ eto pa, some quotes, galing din sa magazine:

"Commitment is the courage to face the rising sun with the promise to be there at its setting." -Sr. Joan Chittister

"Peace won by compromise of principles is a short-lived achievement." -Anonymous

and i was also able to read a poem dedicated to a British soldier who was killed in action. hindi ko na nakopya kasi tinawag na ako e. pero ang tanda ko, based siya sa John 15:13 which says, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends."

ayun lang. full of teachings ang araw na ito. kapagod. pero it was all worth it. again, living for God and with God makes life worthwhile. ^_^

after saying my prayers, God gave me Isaiah 58:9. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer, you shall cry, and He will say, "Here I am." ang galing, this is an affirmation that God is always with us, we will never be alone. ^_^
last na: from In His Steps, "Pain is inevitable; misery is an option." ^_^

15 May, Thursday
happy birthday jaypee! ^_^

whew! long day uli. pero ayos lang. dami na namang surprise si God. i woke up early and went to UP Health Service in Diliman for my lab test. mahal kasi dito sa malapit samen, P400! kamusta naman yun diba? dalawang test lang yun. naisip ko ring kunin na yung classcard sa psych at yung yearbook kung may tao sa Inhinyero office. alpha and i agreed to meet at the Infirmary, 9:30am. salamat talaga kay alpha na forever maaasahan. ^_^ ang plano ko sana, ipa-rush yung blood test tapos tuloy na kame sa PGH, pero iba pala plan ni God. sabi ng Med Tech, hindi raw pwede rush kasi matagal daw gawin yung test so bukas ng umaga ko pa talaga makukuha. by the way, P28 lang ang binayaran ko for the two tests. ang mura diba? yan ang kinaganda ng pagka-delay ko sa graduation. ^_^ anyway, nakuhaan na ako ng dugo, wala pa rin si alpha, kaya kumain na lang muna ako. pagdating niya, sabi ko, hindi na kami tuloy sa PGH kasi bukas ko pa makukuha yung result. kaya kuha na lang kameng classcards. walang tao sa Inhinyero office, sabi ng isang staff, through text, sa Saturday pa raw. ayun. nagpasama na lang si alpha si SM North. may pinapabili raw kasi si ate lady. nakakatuwa lang, tamang bonding lang kame ng aking "heelz". ^_^ tapos kumain kame sa Bodhi, ang saya, puro veggies. deceiving, yung tapa nila, tokwa. hehe. parang meat talaga, nakakaloko. hehe. pero masarap. try niyo rin. ^_^ tamang promote ako diba? hehe. wala lang.

habang kumakain kame, may tumawag sa phone ko, from P&G, ang gandang surprise na naman. ipapakuha raw niya yung exam result ko sa engg admin para ma-recheck niya. kaya pala bukas ko pa makukuha yung result ng lab test kasi kelangan ko rin pala talagang pumunta sa UP para ibalik yung exam ko. ang saya. ang galing no? perfect talaga yung plans ni God. eto pa, nagtext si Kuya Don sken. sabi niya, kinukwenta daw niya yung pamasahe niya papuntang shaw. tapos huminto daw sa tapat niya yung bus ni papa. o dba? libre na siya. ang galing ni God! He is praiseworthy indeed! ^_^

isa pa, tamang basa kame ni alpha sa national bookstore. syempre, naghanap na naman kame ng book ni Nicholas Sparks. hehe. at ako, ng Catholic Bible. ang mahal pala. pero alam ko God will provide. habang tumitingin-tingin kame ng mga libro, napansin ko yung book ni Billi Lim. Dare to Change. ang alam ko lang na book niya e yung Dare to Fail pero yun nga, may bago siya. tapos ang ganda pa nung quote sa cover. Change is to give up what you are to become what you could be. at nakaka-amaze kasi nagtext ang aking twin sister na si shy. sabi niya, bago raw siya umalis ng office, nagpost daw sya sa blog niya about "change" tapos nag-forward din ako ng message about "change". hehe. hindi lang kame twin sisters, amazing twin sisters pa. ^_^ by the way, P160 lang yung book. umm, bili kayo, tapos pahiram ako ha? hehe.

isang mahabang araw na naman ang malapit ng matapos. nakakapagod, pero masaya. bukas, alam ko marami pang 'pasalubong' at surprises si God. i'm so excited. ^_^

"Pakawalan mo ang mga bagay na nakakasakit sa'yo kahit na pinasasaya ka nito. Huwag mong hintayin yung araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo." -Bob Ong-

"You are free to make your choices, but you are not free to choose the consequences."

"Keep in mind that the Father who corrects us knows where we are headed. He wants to keep our vision unclouded so He can lead us to the life He has set aside for us. Allow God's correction to be the greatest affirmation of His love and hope for your life."

"You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there." (believe me, ang lalim ng wisdom ng quote na 'to. think about it. ^_^)

"Trusting God in everything is the softest pillow on which to rest, and the hardest rock to stand on."

~In the end, only three things matter: how fully you lived, how deeply you loved, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.~

"The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them." -Psalm 145:18-19-

16 May, Friday
"The greatest success is to become the person God has intended you to be." -In His Steps-
[Let's continue to live our lives for God and allow Him to be 'The Potter' who molds us, 'The Clay.']

"I feel it when I sorrow most: it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." -Alfred Lord Tennyson-
[nabasa ko lang sa Papemelroti sa Robinson's Place Manila. ^_^]

today wasn't as good as the previous days. i am so tired. medyo foul at depressing pa yung mga sinabi ng resident doctor sa isang government hospital na pinuntahan namin ni alpha. naluha talaga ako. lalo na nung tinawagan ko yung doctor ko. ramdam ko kasi yung worry niya saken at yung inis na rin sa doctor sa nasabing hospital. i decided to go to Quiapo. i know i'll find comfort din. kasama ko pa rin si alpha. ang galing talaga. kasi ang sabi ni God sa Gospel, "Whoever wishes to come after Me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me." [Mark 8:34] at sabi ng pari sa Quiapo, everyday requirement daw yun. Deny yourself, take your cross, and follow the Lord EVERYDAY. i remember the song, "Everyday" - everyday, its You i live for, everyday, i'll follow after You, everyday, i'll walk with You my Lord. wala lang. medyo naging mabigat lang yung cross ko ngayon. pero sabi nga ni Lord, "I will be with you until the end of time." at kung tutuusin, wala pa ring mas bibigat sa cross na binuhat ni Jesus para lang ma-save tayo. while on the bus, i'm singing "Need". I am grateful for the cross, my source of strength in my life's cause. I will embrace it everyday, grace me to live day by day. You, Lord, are all that I need, with all my mind and my deed. With You, my life is complete, in Your love, in Your hands, I'll live.

17 May, Saturday
sobrang daming blessing pa rin. dito natulog si alpha, at nag-worship kame kanina gamit ang Hillsong CD na pinahiram ng aking twin sister na si Shy. ^_^ and the best part of today, MMLA (Metro Manila Leaders' Assembly)! ang saya! sobrang cool ng speaker, si Brother Arun Gogna. ang galing! tawa lang kami ng tawa pero may substance lahat ng sinabi niya. it was about God's love. let me share with you my notes. salamat uli sa In His Steps, may napagsulatan ako. hehe.

Understanding God's Love (Isaiah 43:1 and 4)
But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine.
Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved You."
*There is a big difference between knowing and understanding (alam versus nauunawaan). In times of crisis, you do not do what you know, you do what you understand. When we only know that God loves us, we tend to run away from Him during trials and hardships; but when we understand that God loves us, we come to Him for comfort in times of need.
It's not enough that we know God loves us, we should UNDERSTAND that GOD LOVES US!
The 5 truths about God's love:
1. God's love is creative (malikhain). Consider our bodies, the Earth and everything in it. The whole of creation is a proof of God's love. Life, being a creation of God, is beautiful despite the so many hardships. We just have to focus on the goodness of everything. Remember: what you focus on, grows! Don't focus on the miseries but the blessings and the little miracles that happen everyday.

2. God's love redeems us from fear. God assures us that WE ARE NEVER ALONE. The opposite of fear is not courage, but love. Perfect love drives out fear. If you are afraid, fill yourself with the love of God. ^_^

3. God's love echoes our name throughout all creation. God calls us by name. Our name is our name for eternity. (Nakakatuwa yung sharing niya dito. About a guy named 'Pambihira'. hehe.)

4. God's love makes us belong. (Kelangan pa bang i-explain 'to? ^_^)

5. God's love makes us special. (He shared a story about an important basketball game during his time.) God is our Father. He created everything. Jesus is our brother. He died to save us from our sins, what else can He not do? There's no need for us to be afraid and worry about life. Because we are special, and we are God's children. We must remember who we are, who we REALLY are. Hindi lang tayo basta tao. Anak tayo ng Diyos at kapatid natin si Hesus. That's what we should always keep in mind. We are special. WE ARE BIG IN GOD'S EYES.

we were asked to stand up, close our eyes, and picture Jesus in front of us. you know the image that came to my mind? i saw myself kneeling before the Lord. and He held my hand, let to stand and embraced me tightly. as i was listening to Brother Arun's song, i felt the tears flowing. because i really felt Jesus' warm hug and i was comforted. i couldn't really express the overwhelming joy and the different kind of peace. it was truly a special moment. and i am thankful that i was there to experience it.

here's the song which Bro. Arun taught us. and this song is indeed a blessing.

Big in God's eyes. That's who I am.
Like the birds in the sky, that fly so very high.
They don't have to worry.
I don't have to worry.
Because, I'm BIG IN GOD'S EYES.

i hope i remember it right. sobrang comforting talaga nung song. before Bro. Arun ended his talk, he showed us his 2 CDs (Ikaw Lamang and Big in God's Eyes) and his book, "Happy Secrets to an Obedient Life." at first, i thought he was just promoting his stuffs, but i was touched by what he said: "These are merely things, non-living things, and yet, they have been a blessing to others. Paano pa kaya kayo? You are living things, you could bless more than these things could. Touch other people's lives. Be a blessing." ang ganda diba? ^_^

i feel so blessed. i have already come to realize the above truths. God is so good because He affirmed to me my beliefs. kahit pa medyo napagalitan ako pagdating ko, late na kasi, okay lang. because i've been touched, i've been blessed, and i've gained so much learning from the event and from Bro. Arun. at isa pa, i was able to spend time with my brothers and sisters in the community, lalo na sina shy at thothon. at syempre, nakabili kme ng sling bag na may tatak ng SFC at ng book ni Bro. Arun. may kasama pang pic. hehe. salamat sa aking mahal na batch. natawa ako sa sinabi niya bago kame umuwi, "gusto mo ba talaga yung book?" i told him yes. tapos kumuha siya ng pera. "kelan mo babayaran?" sabi ko, "bukas." then he gave me the money. tapos habang pinapa-sign ko kay Bro. Arun, sabi niya, "aiz, gusto mo picture?" haha. ang saya talaga. sabi pa niya sken, "alam ko naman kasing hindi ka makakatulog mamaya e." hehe. he really knows me. he's truly a blessing. mula noon hanggang ngayon, super blessing talaga siya. and i am forever grateful that he's my 'batch'. this has been an outstanding day. ^_^

18 May, Sunday
happy birthday ralph and len flores! ^_^ (hindi po sila kambal. hehe. hindi nga sila magkakilala e. pareho lang ng surname.)

today, ang ganda rin ng message ni God. here's what i've gained from the homily. [by the way, the readings for today are: Exodus 34:4-6, 8-9, Deuteronomy 3, 2 Corinthians 13:11-13, and John 3:16-18.]

The Church is a Pilgrim Church, it is always moving, just as Jesus is always moving. We are on a journey. Our goal is the Trinity, wholeness. Knowledge of yourself = knowledge of God , the more you know yourself, the more you know God because God is in you. Let's not be Catholics merely by name but of no substance. Our responsibility is to be the light and salt of the world. We should bring light and flavor to the world. We must be living witnesses. We must be proactors, (reflecting before acting) and not reactors (acting without reflecting). Ang Banal na Santatlo ay mukha ng pag-ibig. Allow others to see Christ in you through your words and actions. Be a sign, be a blessing.

ang galing talaga! talk about God's consistency - His message is clear: BE A BLESSING!

wala lang, walang connection 'to pero matagal na kasing naka-save sa phone ko kaya share ko na rin. hehe.

gusto ko lang naman yung totoo, yung tipong ang sagot ay hindi rin isang tanong. -migraine, moonstar 88

ayun lang. hanggang sa muli. ^_^

remember, we are big in God's eyes. so smile and cheer up! life is beautiful. *power hug*

God is with us! ^_^

by the way, one final note: may na-realize lang ako. salamat kay shy kasi naalala ko. hehe. magka-txt kasi kame. wala lang. hiniram ko kasi yung CD niya (at nasa kanya rin yung CD ko) tapos ang plano ko, ipa-burn kay cris. nag-usap na kame. dapat kahapon, bili na akong CD sa CD-R King, buti na lang at nag-taxi kame kaya hindi na ako nakababa sa Galleria. God's will talaga yun kasi i learned an important lesson. PIRACY IS A CRIME. i know, gasgas na yung linya na yun. pero nakakahiya mang aminin, ngayon ko lang talaga naintindihan yun. at ngayon lang ako nakapag-decide na hindi na talaga mag-pirate ng kahit ano. so, no to burned CDs na - be it music or movie. tama si Sir Rom, kung mahalaga sa iyo ang isang bagay, pag-iipunan mo ito. simpleng lesson lang. pero mahalaga at seryoso. at salamat kay Bro. Arun dahil kagabi, nung pinakita niya yung CDs niya, sabi niya, "please don't burn them, because you'll burn in hell." sabay tawa. natawa na rin kame. pero yun talaga yung "wake up call" sa akin. ^_^

here i am to worship.

i'm having goosebumps. i'm listening to a worship CD lent by my twin sister Shy. i just can't express how i feel. i'm singing and i feel God's presence. i can't wait til i experience the Hillsong Concert on the 26th. ^_^

God has been faithful and He never fails to surprise me every single day. today, my brother and i were supposed to go to PGH. pa-schedule sana for CT scan. pero sabi ni mama, magpahinga raw muna ako ngayon. bukas na lang daw. so eto, may time ako to blog. hehe. ang saya. while i was typing and singing, my brother came and asked me to solve a math problem. akala ko sa text lang yun, but i was surprised to see what he's holding - it's an entrance exam reviewer! natuwa talaga ako. i've been praying for God to touch my brother and give him the passion to pursue his studies, tapos ngayon, answered prayer na. ang galing talaga ni God! ^_^

start pa lang ng araw, i know more surprises are coming my way. for now, let me share my journal entries for the past two days.

11 May, Sunday

God is an amazing God. He gave me great surprises today and I am overjoyed. I can't thank Him enough for touching the hearts of my instructors and make them understand my situation. I was really touched. I didn't know what to say when I read the replies of Sir Eric and Sir Rom. I just couldn't contain my happiness that I blogged about it. When I got home, I had dinner and headed straight to my room and spent time with God. I am so deeply in love with Him and I've never been this happier. Two years ago, same month, I was in love with someone. Last year, I was falling for and eventually fell deeply, madly, crazy in love with another man. But both ended tragically. The more that I loved, the deeper the pain. But now I realized, those two wrong people, those two wrong loves had led me to the Perfect One, the only love that would never hurt. This year, I fell deeply in love with the Lord and I just can't stop falling in love with Him. I asked for His reply after I prayed and His message was in Jeremiah 42:11. "Do not be afraid.. for I am with you to save you and deliver you." Amazing indeed! He's the sweetest lover and He's my one true love. I know He'll give me my perfect match, someone who is also deeply in love with Him. ^_^ Such a sweet thought.

Shy shared a very good verse, another reminder from God. Amos 5:6, 14-15. (Again, about how to live our lives for the Lord.)

6: Seek the Lord and live...

14: Seek good and not evil, that you may live; So the Lord God of hosts will be with you as you have spoken.

15: Hate evil, love good; Establish justice in the gate...

God really speaks in the Bible and I am so glad that finally, I have come to take it as my Daily Bread. ^_^

12 May, Monday

God is really good and every day, He allows me to see and experience His power, mercy, and unconditional love. Today, I've been blessed by the following and I am thankful for them:

1. Good weather. Sira lahat ng payong namin sa bahay maliban sa mga malalaki na ayaw ko namang dalhin dahil malaking sagabal. Amazing how God controls the weather just to make sure that I won't get soaked in the rain or get burnt by the raging heat of the sun. When I got off the bus, hindi masikat ang araw. Pagsakay ko ng jeep to Banawe, umaraw na. Pagdating ng Welcome Rotonda, kulimlim. I prayed na huwag umulan kasi malapit na akong bumaba. Tatawid at maglalakad pa ako. Answered prayer agad. Hanggang pagpasok ko ng POC, kulimlim lang. When my therapy started, it also began to rain very hard. Pero paglabas ko ng POC, wala na namang ulan. Galing no?! Ganyan ka-powerful si God. ^_^

2. Shy's wisdom. I decided to eat after my therapy. At dahil na-miss ko ang Sto. Domingo, kumain ako sa pinakamalapit na kainan dun, KFC. Wala ng seat sa baba kaya dun na lang ako sa taas. The thing is, walang ilaw. I mean, walang kuryente, so natural, walang aircon. You could just imagine kung gaano kainit. Pero smile pa rin ako. Ok lang, konting tiis lang. =) Ang pinakamaganda dun, na-share ko yun kay Shy and she told me to consider it as a sacrifice. Oo nga naman, maraming hindi na nga nakakakain, hindi pa nakaka-experience ng aircon. I was humbled by her message kaya naman I offered that situation to the hungry and the poor. And I felt better. Everything has a purpose talaga and life is worth living and every situation is worth going through if you're able to recognize it's purpose. Thanks Shy! ^_^

3. A very powerful homily by Father Norman Quilaquil. Shy and I attended the mass (saan pa kundi sa Sto. Domingo Church ^_^) and the homily was brief yet meaningful. Life has its complexities. Life is full of opposites. But these complexities and opposites make life beautiful. We experience love, we experience hatred. We experience indifference, we experience concern. Life is full of opposites and ironies. But these ironies are those that make life beautiful. Imagine if we're all laughing for all time. Eventually, our laughter will no longer have meaning. Same is true for sorrows. The complexities of life and all its ironies and opposites make it beautiful. (Notice how often this statement is repeated. Because that's what we need to remember. ^_^)

Father Norman defined miracle as something that we do that makes a difference in the lives of other people. He further said that "each of us is capable of doing miracles, and that is a proof that God is with us." In today's Gospel, Mark 8:11-13, the Pharisees asked for a sign but Jesus told them, "no sign will be given to this generation." In our world today, we do not need to ask for signs for we ourselves are already signs of God's love. I remember a story where a man asked God why He isn't doing something to heal the world and solve all the problems - hunger, war, etc. Why is God not doing anything to end the sufferings of His people? If He is God, why is He not doing anything? Then God told the man, "I did something. I sent you." Do something. Be a blessing. We were born in this world for a purpose. We ought to do something. We must be a blessing. We must be THE SIGN. I was amazed by how God made me understand the message of the Gospel today. Kanina, when I woke up, I already read today's readings, but I wasn't able to grasp the real meaning of the Gospel. Instead, I dwelt on the first reading, James 1:1-11, and the quote I read in "In His Steps." I even shared them through text. But I really wasn't able to reflect on the Gospel. Thanks to Father Norman, I was able to comprehend the wisdom in it.

By the way, here are the text messages I sent to my distribution lists. ^_^

*James 1:2-4. "My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." Endure the hardships for they are God's way of shaping us into what we should become. Every trial we overcome is a step closer to God. Be blessed. Be a blessing.

*On my way to POC, I find comfort in this: "There is no sin too big that God cannot forgive." God is loving. God is forgiving. God is perfect. And life is worth living if we're living it all for Him. ^_^

4. The Rain. Umuulan paglabas namin ng simbahan. Wala akong payong. Shy told me to wait for her kasi kukuha raw siya ng payong sa bahay nila. I decided to come with her. Blessing din kasi finally, na-meet ko na rin si Nanay at si Thothon. At nakakatuwa pa kasi binigyan ako ni Nanay ng bagong payong. May tindahan kasi sila at may tinda silang payong. Nakakatuwa talaga. Nahiya nga ako, gusto ko sanang bayaran (utangin pala kasi wala na rin akong pera. hehe.) pero yun nga, sabi ni Nanay bigay niya yun sken. I will always and forever be grateful. ^_^

5. The many little things. The messages I received, the faces that I saw, a smile from a stranger, a new friend (Madz, the new intern who handled me today), seeing Ate Nanique and Ate Marge at the church, the burger, the chicken steak, and the 5 itlog ng pugo which relieved my hunger while I was away from home, everything! Every little thing. ^_^

I listed only 5 but the blessings are actually countless. Sabi nga ni Shy, "count your blessings, don't stop counting."

After my prayer, I asked for God's reply. His message was in Ecclesiastes 2. Verse 26: "For God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy to a man who is good in His sight." My prayer is to be holy, to be pure in mind, heart, and soul. I love the Lord so much and I can't stop falling in love with Him. I pray that He'll grant me the grace to remain in Him and be forever pleasing to His sight. Amen.

Shy shared: Amos 5, Jeremiah 4, Philippians 3:7-11

Thothon shared: Psalm 91

While I was reading Philippians 3:7-11, naalala ko lang yung song na "All I Want" and I promised Shy to post the lyrics here. ^_^

ALL I WANT

I believe that nothing can outweigh the advantage of knowing Jesus Christ,
the advantage of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord

Refrain:
All I want is to know Jesus Christ
And the power of His rising
All I want is to know my Lord
And in Him to abide

For Him I take the loss of everything
And I look on everything as naught
If only I have Christ and a place in Him [Refrain]

I'm no longer trying on my own for perfection coming from the law
I want only that which comes through my faith in Him [Refrain]

This is my song:

BETTER THAN LIFE

Better than the riches of this world
Better than the sound of my friends' voices
Better than the biggest dreams in my heart
And that's just the start

Better than getting what I say I need
Better than living the life that I want to
Better than the love anyone could give
Your love is

You hold me now in Your arms
And never let me go
For You O Lord made the sunshine and the moonlight in the night sky
You give me breath and all Your love
I give my heart to You because
I can't stop falling in love with You
I'll never stop falling in love with You

That's it. Til next post. Cheers! God is enough! ^_^

Jesus, because of You, I'm free!

blessings come in small packages ^_^

i don't know how to express my extreme happiness. today, God has been so nice to me. He's always been, but i just can't contain my joy for all the great 'pasalubong' and surprises He has prepared for me today.

i received positive responses from all the people i've sent email to, my instructors and thesis adviser. all of them showed concern and they were just so kind that they understood my situation. God, i can't be more grateful.

my twin sister shy made a poem for me. she was so sweet and i am humbled to receive such appreciation.

i'm speechless. i'm so overjoyed. i don't know what else to say.

i couldn't stop falling in love with God. i just can't. i never will.

by the way, today is Mother's Day. Cheers to all the mothers who have loved unconditionally and sacrificed willingly. i salute all of you.

to my one and only mama, i love you more than words can say.

God is good all the time. I am forever grateful. And I will forever be His princess. ^_^

God is a consistent God.

Malachi 3:6. "For I am the Lord, I do not change." (Shy, thank you for sharing the verse.)

8 May, Thursday

After saying my prayers, i asked for God's reply and His message was in Matthew 10 (Discipleship and Its Cost), particularly verses 16-26. Verse 16 says: "Behold I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore, be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." God is telling me to be careful with my decisions and be cautious in choosing the things that i'll do, think, say, and believe in. Life on earth is full of deceptions, very tricky. I should be wise enough to recognize what is good and what is evil. I was born to be a blessing, therefore I should do good and not harm. Like what I told Shy, the battle is still on, but we have prayers to keep us armed, and of course, God is with us. There's no way we'll ever lose. ^_^

9 May, Friday

Today has been a long day. My brother and I went to Jose Reyes Memorial Medical Center para sana magpa-schedule for CT scan. Unfortunately, hindi kaya ng budget namin. 7k lang yung allotted money for the procedure pero almost 9k yung sa Jose Reyes kaya hindi na lang. Nakakatuwa lang kasi habang nasa jeep kame, I was touched by a family na kasakay namin. Pinupunasan kasi ni Daddy yung likod ni Kuya habang kalong niya si Baby. Ang cute lang nila tingnan. I remember Papa doing the same thing when we were still young. Habang nasa jeep, I wasn't able to hold my emotions kaya I silently prayed for them. Sobrang na-touch kasi ako. I prayed na hindi magsawa si Daddy alagaan at mahalin ang mga anak niya at sana mas marami pang Daddy na gaya niya. ^_^

Tonight, after my prayer, I asked for God's message. He gave me Proverbs 21. I read the whole chapter but this verse hit me the most: Proverbs 21:23. "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles." Amazing how He's been consistent with His messages. This week, He has given me the standards for Godly living. I told Him I want to be Holy and so He's teaching me how to be one. He told me what I must and must not do to achieve Holiness. Ang galing no? He shapes us into the person He wants us to be. He really is "The Potter" and we are His clay.

10 May, Saturday

This is a special day because today is our Lord's Day! Sa totoo lang, one week na akong sinusumpong ng teribleng headache at pananakit ng tiyan. Kaya gusto na rin nina Mama na makapag-undergo na ako ng CT scan kasi sobrang dami ko ng nainom na malalakas na gamot. Sabi nga ni Papa baka raw naluluto na yung katawan ko sa gamot. Anyway, yun nga, hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko tapos maulan pa. Pero parang hinihila yung paa ko papunta sa simbahan. And another thing, my daughter Mel texted me saying how thankful she is and that she loves me and she misses me too. Hindi na ako nagpapigil. Sabi ko nga kay Mama, kahit naman hindi ako umalis, I'd still be in pain. So aalis na lang ako kasi alam ko something good will happen to me there. And I was right. It was all worth the pain. Ang galing nga e, pag-alis ko ng bahay, walang ulan. Pagdating ko sa church, biglang buhos ang malakas na ulan. Pero pag-uwi ko, malinaw na uli ang ulap. God really fixed everything para makarating ako sa Lord's Day. It was so fun singing with my beloved Music Ministry. Na-miss ko ring kumanta kasama sila. And the very reason why God brought me there: Ate Leah Gayundato. She was the speaker. Just a little background, the first time I listened to her was during our Tongues Workshop. Since then, I have become her avid fan. She also trained us when we were starting out as choir for the Sunday Mass dito sa Lifehomes. I have learned so much from her already. And tonight, she has inspired me again. Sabi ko nga sa kanya, she never fails to touch me every time she gives a talk. Ang galing lang talaga. I could hear God speaking through her. She told me something which I would forever carry in my heart. And I swear, by the time na mangyari yun, second to God, si Ate Leah ang higit kong pasasalamatan. Sa ngayon, secret na lang muna. *wink*

The talk was about transformation. And this is what I got from her: When you grow in love with the Lord, nagiging automatic na ang paggawa ng mabuti at pag-iwas sa kasalanan. Transformation comes from within and it starts with falling in love with God. Sabi pa niya, mahihiya ka ng gumawa ng mali kasi alam mong hindi yun magugustuhan ni God. And she also talked about offering our lives to the Lord and letting His will be done. Pati letting go and letting God. She also mentioned about failed relationships and the blessings that come with them. Sobrang naka-relate ako. Kasi true enough, the moment I stopped crying over a failed relationship and the many bad things that I've been through, that's the time when God revealed Himself to me. And that was the start of my new life, one which is definitely better, and definitely closer to Him. Tama si Ate Leah, persons are gifts. And even the wrong people, who have hurt me in so many ways, are blessings. Kasi I have learned a lot from them. And siguro kung hindi ko rin sila na-encounter at nakasama, maybe I wouldn't be this strong. May purpose talaga lahat ng bagay at lahat ng tao. Ang saya how God spoke through my favorite speaker. Dinala talaga ako ni God dun para makinig sa message Niya. After her talk, we had the renewal of our commitment, our covenant with God. My heart was beating fast while I was offering myself to the Lord and renewing my covenant with Him. Iba talaga yung pakiramdam pag si Lord ang minamahal. Sabi ko nga kay Melai, I feel na tinatama talaga ni God lahat ng mali sa buhay ko. He's molding me into someone He planned and willed me to be. Sa ngayon, nandun ako sa stage na I'm so deeply in love with God that I'm so eager to get rid of the bad things in my life and so determined to correct whatever is wrong with me so that I could be more pleasing to Him. I love God so much and I love loving Him. And I can't stop falling in love with Him. He's the sweetest, the greatest, the best, and the only thing perfect!

During my prayer time kanina, I just thanked Him for His perfect love and for everything He has taught me. I opened the Bible after saying my prayers, and He led me to Ezekiel 18. Again, consistent with His previous messages on how I should live my life.

Verses 5-9 say: "But if a man is just and does what is lawful and right; If he has not eaten on the mountains, nor lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, nor defiled his neighbor's wife, nor approached a woman during her impurity; If he has not oppressed anyone, but has restored to the debtor his pledge; has robbed no one by violence, but has given his bread to the hungry and covered the naked with clothing; If he has not exacted usury nor taken any increase, but has withdrawn his hand from iniquity and executed true judgment between man and man; If he has walked in My statutes and kept My judgments faithfully - He is just; He shall surely live!" Says the Lord God.

Amazing no? Consistent si God sa messages Niya. He answers our every prayers with what is best. ^_^

To end this post, I would like to share a simple poem from Shy. (sis, pagamit ng poem mo ha? hehe. thanks! mwah!)

If my heart can utter spoken words today, it will be praise and thanksgiving.

My heart is overjoyed by Your everlasting loving.

O Lord, reign in my heart always and forever,

And be my God till eternity.

Oops, hindi pa pala end. I still have some text messages to share. ^_^

*"I took some m&m's in the fridge this morning. Out of the blue, I didn't notice that some of it fell on the ground and broke into pieces. How nice. It made me think and I realized, even the sweetest things in life could break in a split second." (Didn't I tell you that everything in this world is temporary? That's a hard fact.)

*Whenever you want to know how rich you are, don't count your money. Cry. Then count the number of hands that will reach out to wipe your tears. (Talaga? Bakit wala namang nagpunas ng mga luha ko? Unan at diary ko lang ang sumalo ng lahat. Does that mean mahirap ako? Hehe. Tamang senti.)

*Starting all over again is not that bad; for when you restart, you get another chance to make things right. (Very true!)

*Every problem is a character-building opportunity. What happens outwardly in your life is not as important as what happens inside you. Your circumstances are temporary, but your character will last forever. (Agree!)

Yun na muna. Masakit na likod ng prinsesa. ^_^

God bless everyone! ^_^

I asked God to take away my pain. God said, "No. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me." True enough, I am closer to Him. And life has never been this meaningful. ^_^