just asking.. but i won't talk about it.. konting daldal lang.. i just want to clarify that i don't cry just to get the attention of people.. at hindi rin ako umiiyak para magpaawa whatsoever.. umiiyak ako 'pag hindi ko na kayang itago yung hirap at sakit na nararamdaman ko.. remember the quote from one of my posts? nabura ko na yung post na yun but here's the quote i'm referring to: "We cry when our hearts couldn’t hide the pain anymore.. cry if you want.. THAT’S NOT A WEAKNESS. It actually heals the wounds that laughter can’t cure."
ganun lang ka-simple.. pagod na ako.. hindi ko na kaya.. yun lang.. tao lang ako, nahihirapan at nasasaktan din.. you won't understand because you haven't experienced what i have gone and am going through.. pero kung kayo ang nasa kalagayan ko, siguro, mapapagod din kayo.. madali lang sabihing, 'wag kang umiyak' pero kung mararamdaman niyo lang yung hirap ko, baka sabihin niyo pa sken, 'cge, umiyak ka lang.. para kahit pa'no gumaan yung pakiramdam mo.' alam niyo ba kung gaano ka-hirap magtago ng sakit? syempre hindi.. wala naman kayo sa lugar ko e.. anyway, i don't need to explain myself.. basta yun lang.. hindi ako umiiyak nang walang malalim na dahilan.. sabi ko nga masaya ako diba? kasi pinipili kong maging masaya sa kabila ng mga nangyayari sken.. at oo, hinahanapan ko ng magandang dahilan kahit yung pinakamahirap na pagsubok.. sa totoo lang, i never questioned God.. nung mga nakaraang taon siguro.. at mababasa niyo yun sa ibang post ko sa blog.. puro talaga ako tanong dati.. pero ngayon, hindi na ako nagtatanong.. basta naniniwala lang ako na may dahilan lahat ng bagay.. pero gaya niyo, tao lang din ako.. marunong din mapagod.. yes, i am stronger now.. pero hindi ako bato na walang emosyon.. na hindi marunong masaktan.. hindi po ako manhid.. sabi ko nga kay kuya tirso at kay melai, ngayon na lang uli ako umiyak.. kasi sobra na talaga.. my cross is already heavy for me to carry.. pero gaya rin ng sinabi ko kay kuya pip, hindi ako susuko.. hindi katumbas ng pagsuko ang pag-iyak.. kung susuko ako, dapat matagal na.. sobrang dami ng nangyari sken na kung tutuusin, pwede ko ng gawing dahilan para sumuko.. pero hindi ko ginawa.. pinili kong lumaban.. at yun pa rin naman ang prinsipyo ko ngayon.. i will never quit..
hay.. sabi ko konting daldal lang.. napahaba na naman.. hehe.. sorry naman.. ayun, umm, salamat nga pala sa mga taong patuloy na naniniwala at sumusuporta sken (naks! parang artista lang.. haha).. sa mga taong nakakaunawa, nakakaintindi, basta nakikinig lang, nagdadasal, at nagmamahal, sobrang salamat! pati na rin sa mga taong lagi akong kinukumusta at sa mga taong tumutulong financially.. maraming thank you talaga! lalo na sa'yo batch! thank you! ^_^
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happy moments..
last Friday was among the best.. i had reunion with my high school best girl friends, ruth and mary anne.. sobrang saya lang kasi ang tagal na naming hindi nagkakasama.. well, the last time was on January ata.. but since then, hindi pa uli kame nabubuo.. e di ba nga nung Friday din yung punta ko sa ortho.. at dun niya sinabing lumala yung problema ko.. nadagdagan pa.. kaya this week, punta rin ako sa o.b. so, obviously, medyo hindi ako okay.. i mean, yes, i still managed to smile.. pero ang bigat nun sken.. pero ang galing talaga ni God kasi He knows when to send people when they are needed.. i know nasabi ko na rin 'to before.. pero uulitin ko pa rin.. kasi ito talaga yung totoo.. ayun nga, after class, nagkita kame ni mars.. and she hugged me.. and that hug mattered a lot.. after naming kumain, pumunta pa ako sa engg para tumulong sa paggawa ng scrapbook for Sir Jim, the P&G general manager who had been an inspiration to all of us who took CS 197.. around 6pm, i left UP and headed to galleria to meet with ruth and mary anne.. i was really happy to see them again.. we had dinner at red ribbon, courtesy of mary anne.. and i ordered an extra rice.. hehe.. ang konti kasi ng kanin e.. super busog talaga kame.. unfortunately, none of us had a camera.. pero dahil special ang moment na yun, naghanap kame ng studio.. haha.. pose kung pose talaga.. ayun, wala lang.. nakakatuwa talaga.. at eto pa, nagkataong nandun din si nap sa galle.. at dahil iba ang way ng dalawang sisters ko sken, kelangan ko ng kasama pauwi.. in other words, magkasama kame ni nap.. at nakita ko pa c me-ann.. na kilala rin pala ni nap.. wala lang.. small world talaga no? ayun.. kahit nakakapagod, happy pa rin.. sabi nga ni Edwin McCain, these are the moments, i thank God that i'm alive.. ^_^
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there's nothing good about goodbye but the memories and the learnings you will carry with you for all time..
Saturday was our last day sa aming leadership class.. and i can't help but be somehow sad.. for the past four months, Saturdays have been exciting because i know that i'll be learning something new from Sir Jim.. nakaka-miss lang gumising ng maaga at magmadali para hindi ma-late.. hehe.. sobrang dami talagang naturo sken ni Sir Jim at ng buong P&G.. lalo na sa disiplina.. pero everything has an end.. unfortunately, even the good ones.. sabi nga sa kanta some good things never last.. why can't they last? ganun talaga, life goes on.. pero sabi rin ni geo, this is not the end, but tshe beginning.. and this i'm sure: every memory and learning that i gained from the leadership class will remain with me for the rest of my life.. in fact, i am already able to apply some of the things that Sir Jim has taught me.. lalo na sa pagkilala sa sarili ko.. at syempre, sa paggawa ng tama.. i will never forget this statement from him: do the right thing no matter what the price. sabi nga, it takes less time to do a right thing than to explain why you did it wrong. ^_^
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lessons from the Homily on Palm Sunday..
the Homily focused on the pastoral letter distributed by the CBCP.. medyo political, pero ang galing kasi marami rin akong napulot na aral.. mas naintindihan ko yung seventh commandment, which was the main topic of the letter.. the seventh commandment says: thou shall not steal.. and did you ever realize that stealing isn't just in the form of money? we can also steal time, love, and everything else that a person has.. for example, when we are late, we steal someone else's time.. when we kill, we steal someone else's life, and when we seduce a person who is already taken, we steal also steal that person from his/her partner.. so, lahat ng mang-aagaw ay magnanakaw rin! basta, everytime we get something from someone, be it money, time, love, or whatever, we are violating the seventh commandment.. ang bigat ano? so be careful.. akala natin minsan ok lang yung mga ginagawa namin.. little do we know and realize that we're already committing sins.. kaya yun nga.. dapat careful talaga tayo.. and syempre, be responsible for our actions.. ^_^ by the way, we need to do restitution as an act of repentance.. without restitution, there won't be absolution.. ano ba yung restitution? it is saying sorry for the sin we have committed, giving back what we stole, and committing not to steal anymore.. ang hirap no? pero kelangan nateng gawin.. sabi ko nga, we must be responsible for our actions.. yun lang..
one final note on courage.. why is courage a wonderful thing? because, according to Sir Jim, it is rare. and what is courage? it is telling even the people we love what is wrong and what is right.. minsan kasi hesitant tayong sabihin sa taong mahal naten na mali na yung ginagawa niya.. pero mali yun.. we should have the courage to correct the people close to us.. if we really care about them.. and lastly, ito yung pinakamahalagang sinabi ni Father Babes kanina.. ang pagbabago ng bansa ay nagsisimula sa pagbabago ng puso ng bawat isa..
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manny's victory..
nakakalungkot isiping hindi convinced ang mismong mga boxing analyst na pinoy sa pagkapanalo ni pacman.. wala lang.. hindi ko napanood yung buong game pero sabi nina papa, deserving naman daw si manny.. wala lang.. i can't comment that much kasi nga i wasn't able to watch the game.. pero basta happy ako na nanalo si pacman.. ^_^
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schizo.. ZTE.. etc..
i'll talk about them next time.. promise.. i need to study for an exam.. hanggang sa muli.. God bless everyone! ^_^
last na pala.. thank you jat and batch.. for including me in your prayers during your household.. sobrang salamat.. *power hug*
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