because i'm in the mood.. and because i have time..

dadaldal ako. :D

matagal-tagal din akong hindi nakapagkwento. bakit? e kasi naman artista nga ako, sobrang hectic ng schedule. haha. seriously, super mega over busy talaga. kung makikita niyo lang yung planner ko, hindi lang puno, umaapaw pa. hehe. hyperbole. :D

pero dahil matatapos na ang buwan, at marami-rami na akong naipong kwento, thoughts, at kung ano-ano pa, i decided na mag-blog muna. yey! hehe. na-miss ko ring magkwento. at sa totoo lang, super therapeutic talaga ang blogging for me. during times na sobrang ngarag at stressed na ako, i take a break by reading my previous blog entries. tapos yun, matatawa na lang ako. lalo na sa mga wrong spelling, wrong grammar, at kung ano-ano pang wrong. haha. pero nakakatulong talaga. at least natatawa ako. sabi nga laughter is the best medicine diba? :D

naku, mukhang mahaba-habang kwentuhan ito. hehe.

hmm.. where do i begin.. to tell the story of how great a love can be.. haha. biglang kumanta. :D at dahil sa kantang yan, pinanood ko pa talaga yung movie. haha. 1970 pa siya at naman, kamusta naman yun, sa movie pala na yun nanggaling yung pamosong linya na "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

ayun. wala lang. kwento lang. trivia. hehe.

saan nga ba ako magsisimula? sige, share na lang muna ako ng quotes. :D mula sa aking koleksyon ng mga text message mula sa mga mahal kong kaibigan. :)

onga pala, sorry friends, di na ako masyadong nakakatext. lam niyo naman ang lola niyo, tamad lang talaga magtext. haha. wala lang. lumipas na kasi ako sa period ng buhay na excited pa gumamit ng cellphone. lam niyo yun? parang kung hindi pa talaga importante, hindi ako magtetext. wala lang. sobrang busy na kasi talaga. ayun.

anyway, tama na ang paliwanag.. eto na yung mga text. :D

*Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day. So stay positive in life. Just smile. ^_^
- oh yes! i so agree! :D

*As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned.
- i like this one. another way of saying "life's full of surprises!"

*You are not any greater when people praise you, nor are you any worse when they criticize you. How you are is how God sees you, nothing more, nothing less... simply PRICELESS!
- i soooooooooooo love this one! kasi totoo naman talaga. God loves us... period. ^_^

*Getting angry is actually punishing yourself with the mistakes of others.
- hmm.. oo nga naman.. may point siya.. kaya ako, hindi na ako nagagalit. :D

*Although we naturally enjoy laughter more than tears, we have to accept that most of the wisdom we've gained along the way, we owe to sad times.
- korek. korek. at isa pang korek. sabi nga ni alanis, "YOU CRY, YOU LEARN" ^_^

*Never let your fear make your decisions. YOU make them.
- ay eto, isang tao lang ang pinasahan ko ng quote na 'to. kasi i really believe that more than anyone else, she needs to receive this message. bakit? kasi, nung minsang nagkausap kame, she insisted that she was afraid of what would have happened kung sakaling nalaman ko agad yung tungkol sa kanila. i won't go into details. pero basta sabi niya kung siya lang daw gusto na talaga niyang sabihin kaso lang natatakot siya. basta ganun. wala lang. ayoko ng magsalita pa. haha. pero basta, tama yung message na 'to. don't blame to fear, or to any feeling for that matter, your wrong decisions. at wag din nateng hayaang emotions naten yung mag-rule. sabi nga ni ate ria, "we are the masters of our emotions". so kung meron mang dapat masunod, hindi emosyon, kundi yung judgment at conscience naten. ayun. na-realize ko nga e, kung hinayaan kong takot yung gagawa ng decisions ko, malamang hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin kame magkaibigan ng isa sa tinuturing kong closest friend. kung nakinig ako sa iba, dapat hindi ako masaya ngayon. don't get me wrong, it's okay to ask for others' opinion. in fact, kelangan talaga nateng gawin yun. at sa totoo lang din, kelangan din nateng i-consult yung mga nararamdaman naten. pero ang final decision, dapat, saten pa rin manggaling. at kung ano man yung maging decision naten, panindigan naten yun. kasi yun ang pinili nateng gawin. i mean, we were given options diba? so kung ano yung pinili naten, pangatawanan na naten. did i make sense? haha. sorry naman, nawala kasi yung momentum ko sa pagsusulat. nanood pa kasi ng Love Story e. haha. ayun.

may isa pa akong naalala. familiar ba kayo dito: "love is not a feeling. it's a decision."?

well, personally, agree ako dun. love is indeed a decision. kasi kung feelings lang ang magiging basehan naten, wala na sigurong nagtagal na relationship. why? because feelings change. one moment sobrang importante sa'yo yung isang tao, the next moment, wala lang siya. hay nako, pinagdaanan ko na yan. haha. pero at least napatunayan ko na kaya ko palang gumawa ng "decision to love", yun nga lang.. yun nga lang.. haha. ayokong magkwento. :p

*This is the greatest gift God can give you: to understand what happened in your life; to have it explained. It is the peace you have been searching for. [The Blue Man, The Five People You Meet in Heaven]
- yho, thanks for this message. ang ganda rin nito. agree ako. at kung ako ang tatanungin, hindi pa lahat, pero most of the things that have happened in my life, naintindihan ko na. and yes, sobrang at peace na ako. ^_^

*If you feel like no one cares about you, think again. Look in the mirror, because the person you see needs you more than anyone else.
- oh yes again. umm, batch, this message is for you.

at.. last but not the least.. eto ay galing kay alpha margaux quelnan (naks, complete name. haha.) na ayon sa kanya ay galing sa book of colors ni ate lady.. tama ba heelz? hehe.

*October 15: Your color is lilac snow. You have a gift for storytelling and an appreciation for beauty. (aha! agree. :D) The performing arts can be a great vehicle for your many talents. (huwow! many talents?! hindi naman. singing lang tsaka writing tsaka singing tsaka writing. haha.) You can do well in front of an audience, especially if the words you speak resonate within your heart. (hmm.. ??) You have a strong magnetism that makes you attractive to others. (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! hahahaha. adik! talaga lang ha? san banda? hehe.) It is important to surround yourself with people and objects that promote harmony. (hmm.. friends, nagpopromote ba kayo ng harmony? haha.)

hayyyyyyyy.. ang bilis naman ng oras.. at ang dami ko na palang nasabi.. hehe.. tama na muna 'to.. maya-maya uli. :D

pahinga muna. ^_^

ay wala lang sige pala, kwento pa pala. hehe. ayun. sobrang natutuwa lang ako sa sarili ko. hehe. oh yes, i love myself. :D yun nga kasi, may isa akong nakausap and while listening to her, i realized how weak she/they thought i was. sabi ko nga sa kanya, "grabe ate, ganun kahina yung tingin niyo sken? hindi niyo nga ako kilala." wala lang. naging common misconception na talaga na kapag ang isang tao ay umiiyak, mahina siya. at eto pa, kaya naisipan kong ituloy ang kwento, kakapanood ko lang sa commercial ng All About Eve yung scene na nakita ni Jean Garcia si Sunshine Dizon na umiiyak. tapos ang sabi niya, "ang umiiyak, talo." i definitely do not agree! hindi dahil sa umiiyak ang isang tao ibig sabihin hindi na siya lumalaban. oh well, hindi ko na kailangang ipaliwanag yun. kanya-kanyang pananaw kasi yan e. pero yun nga, kung ganun kahina ang tingin niyo sa mga taong umiiyak, nagkakamali kayo.

ngayon, bakit ko nasabing natutuwa ako sa sarili ko? kasi napatunayan ko kung sino at ano talaga ako. hindi ako gaya ng iniisip niya o nila. i even exceeded my expectations. alam kong malakas ako but i never thought that i was and i am THIS strong. and i know, i'm getting stronger and better each day. :D

ayun lang. bigla ko lang naisip yun. :)

seryoso na 'to, pahinga na muna. :D magandang gabi pilipinas. ^_^

on a lighter note. :D

*got this from friendster. sagot muna, pantanggal stress. :)

1. History of your password:
-- mahalagang #

2. Last text message received from:
-- GLOBE (bal inquiry) :D

3. Last time you cried:
-- kanina lang.

4. Age you want to get married:
-- 25 --> ako rin sis! :D goodluck, 2 years na lang pala yun no? ready na ba yung groom ko? waaah. (i don't wanna wait in vain for your love.. haha..)

5. Current feeling:
-- bato ako ngayon. walang pakiramdam. (defense mechanism ko yun. :D)

FOUR HAVE YOU EVERS:
1. Gone on a date:
-- yes

2. Lost someone special:
-- yes

3. Been depressed:
-- yes

4. Been drunk and threw up:
-- never

THIS MONTH HAVE YOU:
1. Made a new friend:
-- i guess so

2. Laughed until you cried?
-- yes

3. Met someone who changed your life:
-- this month lang? wala pa.

4. Discover who your true friends are?
-- naman!

5. Is there something you want to tell someone:
-- yes. a lot.

6. How many kids do you want to have:
-- at least 2 (1 boy, 1 girl - my anja)

7. Do you have any pets:
-- wala

8. Do you wanna change your name :
-- no. i love my name. :D

9. What did you do yesterday:
-- woke up smiling, ate a lot, studied, fixed things, sang, cried, smiled again. :D

10.Last time you had pizza:
-- feb 21, ICON (breakfast)

11.What time did you wake up today:
-- ask my boss. :D going 9 na rin yun e.

12.What were you doing at 10:30 p.m. last night:
-- talking to God.

where's 13?

14.What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?
-- err. meron ba? wala naman. pero marami akong gustong baguhing sitwasyon.

15.What are you listening to right now?
-- ngayon, BUTTERFLY (Mariah Carey).. oh yeah! panalo talaga mellow! :D

16.Most visited webpage?
-- mail, multiply, fs, sfcglobal, sfcinfosystem

17.Who made you sad?
-- siya

18. Who made you happy?
-- siya rin (kung sinong nagpapasaya sayo, yun din ang nagpapalungkot sayo. hayy. haha. enough of the drama. chill. :D)

19.Who are with you right now?
-- ma & pa

20. Say you were in a relationship for 2 years and your boy/girlfriend cheated on you:
-- grrr. no comment. haha.

21. What was the last conversation you had with your best friend about?
-- my heart's desires.

22. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say:
-- nothing. wala akong magagawa kung yun ang nararamdaman niya.

23. Are you afraid of roller coasters?:
-- no! :D

24. Would you rather go to a party in or out of town?:
-- out of town.

25. What are you supposed to be doing right now?:
-- taking a bath and preparing for clp. hehe. promise, tapusin ko lang po 'tong survey. :D

26. One wish?:
-- hay. God knows.

27. How is life going for you right now?
-- it's a roller coaster ride (with all the ups & downs, happiness & sadness...)

28. Who do you wish to see now?:
-- si boss.

29. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?:
-- hmm. hindi ako ang dapat magsabi e. basta. :D

30. Last person to comment you?:
-- sa fs, si ruth (westlife sister ko. :D)

31. Is there any meaning behind your profile song?:
-- umm, yung playlist ko sa multiply theme songs ng life ko.

32. Do you believe what comes around goes around?:
-- yes

33. What is your favorite fruit?:
-- mango! naman! ang tanging prutas na hindi ko pagsasawaan. :D

34. Do you trust people easily?:
-- hndi masyado

35. Do you give out second chances easily?:
-- it really depends.

36. Do you like hugs or do you freak when people hug you?:
-- i love hugs from people i love.. :)

36. Done anything illegal?
-- umm. meron na rin ata.

37. Last received call.
-- invitation from bea.

38. Are you a lover or a fighter?
-- both. :D

39. What colour are your eyes?:
-- black.

40. When was the last time you went out?
-- wednesday. HLT. mamaya, CLP. :D

41. What was the last movie you saw?
-- sa moviehouse? umm.. nights in rodanthe? haha. loser no?

42. Who made you smile today?:
-- yung gumising sken kanina. :)

43. Do you smile a lot?
-- yes. ms. smiling face ata ako. haha.

>>tapos na? haha. bitin. thanks ruth for posting this! stress-reliever. :D

just another blog entry. ^_^

if i may say so, i've been through heaven and hell during the previous week. it all started last wednesday, during our ministry practice. i won't tell the details as i wouldn't want to remember the fear that i and the rest of the music min members have felt. but i tell you, it was a horrible experience. (enough said). then come friday. still going through some emotional stress, i was forced to face another heartache. for on friday noon, i learned that francis "kiko" magalona passed away. and still haven't recovered from the shocking and really heartbreaking news, i got a message from jat, the CLP team leader, telling me that he just met an accident. c'mon! i may be superwoman, but hey, i'm still human. i tried to calm myself down. i kept still. i prayed. i left home feeling ok, well at least that's how i felt (and thought).

i have always believed that everything happens for a reason. and i knew very well that what we have gone through (me, the music min, our chapter, the leaders) are all but tests of how strong we are as individuals and as a chapter. come to think of it, we've been through tremendous trials (individually and as a group) during the week of our CLP orientation. great timing right? and the finale of it all? on friday night, just when i arrived at the venue for our monthly chapter assembly, i collapsed! (oh yeah, i made a scene again. hay. most embarassing moment part 2). i really don't know why. all i know is that i suddenly felt weak (seemed like my system has crashed). i even told ate flory about it (she was the last person i talked to - through text as i travel to lifehomes). thank you to the sisters who did their best to keep me conscious. to those who held my hand and kept telling me to hold on. thank you to the brothers who carried me and rushed me to holy life (a bit of history, it was where i first got admitted because of my tummy problem). thank you to everyone who prayed for me. thank you to those who called and sent me messages. to those who paid me a visit. to everyone who worried and were concerned, many many thanks. but most especially, thank you jat, sidh, and tin. you know why i'm thanking you guys. you were the ones who stayed by me when i was lying on that bed (jat was holding my left hand, sidh was holding my right hand, and tin was holding the hot bag to keep my feet warm). you were the ones who made me laugh through the tears. i can't thank you enough. (and also to kuya don and daddy mike who were also there. ^_^)

moving on... :D so there, i wasn't able to attend the orientation that saturday night. and also, i wasn't able to serve in the mass on sunday morning. plus, i wasn't able to support the leafletting. for the nth time, i'm under house arrest. (haha. hyperbole. :D)

on monday morning, mama and i went to my doctor. my tummy missed him, i guess (because since that friday night, i've been battling against pain, and i mean extreme stomach pains. in fact, mama & papa have thought of bringing me to the hospital again but i refused to be brought there because i know they would inject something on me again and there's really a high probability that i would be advised to stay there for at least a day. and i really don't like that idea. after all that i've been through last year, i swear i have already dreaded hospitals and medicines and doctors.).

so what did my doctor say? actually, he wasn't there. hehe. he's still out of the country. dr. vergara was the one who told me that i'm sick again. and i got hit by the same illness that i had before. great great. honestly, i have already expected it. i mean, i've been there, and yes, it was the same thing as what i am going through right now. i was also informed then that it could recur especially when i experience stress. oh yeah, define stress. haha. tsk. so how's my condition? well, i'm quite good. i'm getting better each day. and one good thing i'm thankful for is, according to dr. vergara, i have a healthy heart! yehey! :D it's just that i have a very rebellious/pasaway tummy. but it's okay, i'm still the boss. and i won't tolerate it's rebellion. :D i'm taking medicines again (and an anti-stress vitamins, not stresstabs though. :D) and for two weeks, i'm on a strict diet again. no liquids other than water. that's the saddest part. :(( i can't even drink gatorade. huhu. i can choose not to follow the doctor's advise but it would still be me on the losing end - i would have to endure the pain and take the risk of getting things worse. in short, i have no choice. haha.

what did i learn? simply this: while God is busy doing His work, and while we, as God's army, are also busy fulfilling the mission assigned to us, Satan is also busy doing his thing to hinder us and keep us from getting to the "finish line". the devil is so afraid of the fact that we can and we will win the battle. and so, he's doing everything and he's using everything - even our intentions, even our prayers, even our wishes and desires to stop us from winning. his major goal is to defeat us, but no, he'll never succeed. i had told a close friend about one of my prayers which i think satan heard and used to bring me down by making me experience pain again. but poor devil, i think he still haven't realized how great and powerful my God is. he may have hit me badly, but as they say, and i love saying this, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. and with every pain, be it emotional or physical, that i am able to get through, i only get stronger and wiser and better. so thank you satan, for testing me. you only make me a better me, and guess what, you bring me closer and closer to my Creator. no, you weren't able to break my faith, you simply strengthen it. :D and no, you weren't able to stop me and my chapter and the whole community from doing God's work and bringing people closer to Him, you simply challenged us and made us more determined to fight and win. :D we won't back down. we won't surrender. we will move even farther. forward in and with Christ! ^_^

let me end this post with these words from the late master rapper. (i'll leave the interpretation to you. the wisdom that i got may be different from yours. :D) he has inspired a lot. he made the filipinos proud. he had lived a full life. and just like him, i am also ready to fight and win a happy battle. (i may post something about him soon. i swear i still have a lot to share. :D)

"My motto in life is to be a sponge. I absorb everything." -FM

P.S. you may wonder, where's the "heaven part" of my week? well, everything that made my week is part of my experience of heaven. :)

and another P.S. :D i have also learned that nagging doesn't help in any way. haha. sorry girlfriends, i really have to say this. i do appreciate your concern, but please, do not nag. i'm sorry if i was a nagger too (though i don't think i was. :D). but hey, i realized that it's just so irritating. especially when everyone's doing it already. mama nags. then i'll receive a message from a girlfriend asking about my condition. then i'll tell her about what happened. then she nags. then another girlfriends texts and nags. my goodness. hehe. i know you love me, but even if you say that you nag with love, still, it won't change the fact that you nag. haha. i'm really sorry. i'm not really a girl. i don't support nagging. :D mwah! love you girls! :D

I Will Move

i will move
i will run
i will climb the highest mountain
for You are my priceless gold
i'll be swift
i'll be bold
from this land i'll conquer to the world
for You are my King and my God
i will move

that's the chorus of the conference song, "Move" by Bro. Mike Serapio. and that's also the battle cry of the community this year: MOVE (FORWARD IN CHRIST).

as promised, i'll be sharing the conference proper (especially for those who were not able to attend the conference: my twin sister shy and soul sister mae). what i'll be sharing are the notes provided in the kit, my personal thoughts, and the thoughts i heard from our last night's chapter teaching. by the way, i would like to commend our sharers, ate julie, ate flory, kuya ralph, kuya rhed, sidh, tin, and glenn for giving great insights. honestly, i felt like i was in the conference again. God really spoke through you guys last night. thanks for letting Him use you. :)

Session 1: in Christ... this is the life!
Speaker: Kuya Jomar Salumbides

The SFC life is a life where Christ is alive. It is...
... a life of revelations
... a life of conversion
... a life of healing and forgiveness
... a life of mission and sacrifice
... a life of fulfilled promises

But more than anything, it has been a life lived with Jesus.

Everything points to Jesus! My life should reveal Him. In Him I am healed and forgiven. He IS the promise fulfilled.

In all my experiences, Jesus has brought out the very best out of all that I have gone through, simply because He went through them with me.

Jesus calls me to a life lived with, a life in, and a life for Him each and every day! There is no other life to be lived. THIS IS THE LIFE!

*What touched me most about this talk was the parade of real people who have experienced conversion. From sexual addicts to Gospel addicts, from abused to wounded healers. Their stories are really moving and inspiring. Indeed, with God, nothing is ever impossible. Because even the gravest sins are forgiven, even the most painful experiences are turned into blessings, and even the most difficult persons are loved and converted. That's how God works. Simply amazing. And yes, despite all the imperfections of the community, despite all the pain, the stress, the frustrations, I still am, and will always be thankful that I am here in SFC. This is where I belong. Because THIS IS MY LIFE.

Ate Julie, in her sharing last night, defined life as what differs us from the dead. She got it from a book (I forgot the title, sorry. I'd ask her later. :D). And with that definition, she encouraged us to live life the way it should be lived - full & with purpose. I remember the batte cry during the "Home" Conference: Love Deeply. Live Fully. And what better statement could describe that kind of life than this: JESUS INSIDE!

*Just live your life with God inside, you won't regret one moment of it.* - Free, Hillsong

Session 2: forgetting what lies behind
Speaker: Kuya Michael Arriola*

*he was our recollection master (during the Pre-ICON recollection for the service team)

**for this part, i would just post what's written on the kit because it truly says it all.**

Similar to my own life, even my icon, Jesus, did not live in perfect conditions:

Jesus was tempted (Desert Experience)
Jesus was betrayed (Judas & Peter)
Jesus was scourged (Passion)
Jesus was forsaken (Crucifixion)

If I constantly look to Jesus, He will enable me to see beyond my imperfect conditions and help me resolve to make the best out of what I am blessed to be part of.

Jesus made LOVING ME His primary business on earth. He showed me how to deal with my human emotions, to overcome temptations and to resolve conflict. He assures me that He is with me and that He will never give up on me.

(Sorry, I have to share this song... NEVER GIVE UP - JOSH BATES)

Time after time You’ve been left behind
like the sun when it’s starting to rain
Time after time You’ve been forgotten
like a picture that’s faded with age
Time after time You ran after me
when I was still running away

You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me

Time after time I’ve used Your grace
as a way to do what I please
I’ve taken for granted prayers that You answered
never been all I could be
You are holding out Your hands
and now I clearly see

You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me

You always erase all my mistakes
You lift me up when I'm down
Through all the ages, Your love never changes
You welcome me just as I am

You never give up on me
No, You never give up on me
Though I’m weak You are strong
You told me I still belong
No, You never, never give up on me

During times when I can't understand what is happening in my life, I will go to the One who not only understands me, but also loves me completely. He will grace me with what I need to fill my heart with peace, regardless of my circumstances.

Trial after trial, suffering after suffering He experienced, His response was always to go back to the Father. I know I should also nurture an intimate relationship with the Father so that I can also be confident to run to Him.

*The session ended with the band singing this beautiful and moving song. I have always loved singing this because it really is my song. (WHO AM I - CASTING CROWNS)

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

i couldn't say anything more. this talk is really for me. and believe it or not, as i type, tears are flowing from my eyes. i still can hear God speaking. and right this moment, i can feel His embrace. it feels like i'm having a conference at home, with Him. (Abba, thank You. I missed You. Thank You for never giving up on me. Thank You for loving me completely, unconditionally, eternally.)

Just one last thing, let me share Ate Flory's sharing last night: Forget, but remember with gratitude. Why? Because everything happens for a reason. And God uses even the darkest times of our life to lead us to the LIGHT. It is but proper to thank Him for everything because without those experiences, we will never grow, we will never learn.

Session 3: Setting our Hearts on the Prize (Benediction & High Mass)
(Sorry guys, I wasn't able to note the name of our speaker and the priests. This was the time when we were preparing for the High Mass.)

Nothing in the world can make sense to me unless I keep Jesus in my life. I may be rich, well-known, even loved by many, but these will not last if I do not encounter Jesus in them. I NEED JESUS IN MY LIFE because JESUS IS LIFE.

Jesus is not only a role model. More importantly He is Someone who wants to have the deepest, most intimate friendship with me. He takes delight in my company and His heart is gripped with love for me.

The love of my God is beyond words. He desires to be forever in union with me. Out of love for the Father and for us, our icon Jesus allowed Himself to suffer and die on the cross to bring forth life.

Through the celebration of the Holy Eucharist, Jesus allows me to be united with and in Him.

I share in that suffering and death every time I experience my own trials and sufferings. I receive life every time I participate in the celebration of the Sacrament of the Holy Eucharist and receive His body and blood - and by God's grace, I become a bearer of life to others.

*The most striking statement during this session was this: MAKE YOUR OWN LOVE STORY WITH GOD. We were challenged to make every day a profession of our love for our Creator. Let us make our lives a love story with and for God. Just thought of this song: How sweet it is to be loved by You. Indeed, to love and to be loved is the most beautiful feeling and what greater feeling would there be than to love and be loved by no less than the FATHER? :)

Session 4: Forward in Christ
Speaker: Kuya Aldy Katigbak

I can now move forward because I do so IN Christ. I will remember the posture of Jesus' heart...

C Catholic
H Humble
R Radical
I Intercessory
S Sacrificial
T Togetherness

Only in Christ Jesus will I be able to move forward in the right direction, with the right attitude and with sufficient love.

SFC Vision: Every single man & woman all over the world experiencing Christ.

SFC Mission: Building the Church of the home and building the Church of the poor.

*With Jesus as our ICON, we can never go wrong. I have one realization here, moving on is never enough, we have to MOVE FORWARD.. in Christ and with Christ.

I remember what Msgr. Pagulayan told me when I confessed to him: You have already moved forward and there's no more chance to look and turn back. As long as you no longer have hatred in your heart, you don't need to worry about not having a past relationship restored. It happened because God made it happen. Because He has a better plan and a better path for you.

Allow me to share this beautiful verse from the book of Joshua. I believe that this is what we need as we move forward - an affirmation that we are never alone. As we march as God's army, let's take these words in our hearts. Let them be our shield and our most powerful weapon as we face the battle.

JOSHUA 1:1-9 (I WILL BE WITH YOU)
[1]After the death of Moses, Yahweh spoke to Joshua, the son of Nun and the minister of Moses, and said to him: [2]"My servant Moses is dead; therefore, the hour has come for you to cross the Jordan River, and all the people shall go with you to the land which I give to the sons of Israel. [3]I give you all the places where you set your feet, as I promised Moses. [4]Your frontiers will extend from the mountain of Lebanon in the north, to the desert in the south, as far as the great Euphrates in the east and the Great Sea in the west.

[5]As long as you live, no one will be able to stand against you. I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not leave you or abandon you. [6]Be valiant and have courage for I will give this people the land I swore to their fathers I would give them. [7]Therefore, be brave and faithfully fulfill the Law which Moses, my servant, gave you. Do not turn aside from it either to the right or to the left, and you shall succeed wherever you go. [8]Constantly read the book of this Law and meditate on it day and night that you may truly do what it says. So shall your plans be fulfilled and you shall succeed in everything. [9]It is I who command you; be strong, then, and be valiant. Do not tremble or be afraid, because Yahweh, your God, is with you wherever you go."

I'll end this post with the community's theme song for this year. With that, may God be praised! :)

WE'LL BE FAITHFUL

Forgetting what lies behind
Setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our Lord Jesus
We're running the race to win
All the way to the end
Laying down every sin that would seek to hinder us

And we'll be faithful
To our calling
For You are able to keep us from falling
For in Your promise, we will trust
We'll be faithful to finish the work You began in us

FORWARD IN CHRIST!

mahabang kwento..

matagal ko ng gustong gawin 'to pero ngayon lang talaga ako nakanakaw ng oras. take note, ninakaw ko pa talaga yung oras. hehe.

gusto ko lang magkwento tungkol sa mga nangyari noong nakalipas na ilang araw. warning lang, hindi ko alam kung gano kahaba ang post na ito. basta magkukwento lang ako. kung tamad na kayong basahin, e di stop na. hehe.

game.

feb. 19 - we left manila. 1st time kong makasakay ng plane. wohoo! ang saya. window side pa ako. kaya lang sa sobrang excitement ko, nakalimutan kong ang bubble gum pala ay kinakain sa plane at hindi sa taxi. haha. ayun, ang sakit tuloy ng tenga ko. naubos ko na kasi yung bubble gum na binigay ni zhel sa taxi pa lang. adik no? hehe. oh well, buhay pa naman ako at nakakarinig pa nung dumating kame ng tagbilaran kaya ok lang. i survived. :D

delayed ang flight namin so natural late din kameng dumating sa bohol at hindi na nasunod yung dapat na itinerary namin ng thursday. mag-aso falls at hinagdanan cave lang ang napuntahan namin. kumain sa masarap na ihawan sa tagbilaran at bumalik na sa apartelle. na-discover namin na meron palang swimming pool doon kaya mega lublob kameng sisters. ang sarap ng tubig, very relaxing. kaya naman ang sarap din ng tulog namin nung gabing yun.

feb. 20 - day tour sa bohol. we first went to chocolate hills. pinost ko na 'to sa photo section pero in case di niyo nabasa, share ko uli. :D ayon kay manong tour guide, by the name of kuya undoy, there are 1216 chocolate hills. sakop ang 3 bayan ng carmen, batuan, at sagbayan. sa sagbayan peak, makikita na ang cebu. ang ginawa nilang tourist destination ay ang bayan ng carmen kung saan matatagpuan ang highest hill (at yun na mismo yung tourist spot. dun nagpapa-picture, nandun yung wishing bell, etc.) why was it called chocolate hills? ang sabi kasi ni ate che, at tama rin naman, naisip lang daw niya, kung brown yung hills na yun, ibig sabihin walang mga puno. eto ang explanation ni kuya undoy: may hills daw na tinutubuan ng mga puno, at ang mga yun ay matatagpuan sa mga bayan ng batuan at sagbayan. sa bayan ng carmen, damo lang daw ang tumutubo sa mga burol dun kaya naman tuwing summer, tuyot sila at nagiging brown. makes sense diba? :D ayun.

next destination, man-made forest. i was amazed by the story behind its creation. nung 1970's daw, nagkaroon ng malawakang tree planting. i forgot kung ilang hectares yung tinaniman basta malaking area. the participants planted mahogany trees (na napakamahal pag binenta) and since then, hinayaan lang nila na lumago ang mga puno. kaya siya tinawag na "man-made forest". gawa lang talaga siya ng mga tao. ang galing no? i also learned from kuya undoy na bawal ang logging sa bohol. no wonder, never ko pang nabalitaan na nagkaroon ng landslide sa lugar na yun. kaya naman pala, marunong kasi sila mag-alaga ng kayamanang pinagkatiwala sa kanila. *a round of applause and a salute to the boholanos!*

isa pang trivia: alam niyo ba na ang limestone ay ginagawa lang nilang panambak? astig no. sabi nga ni kuya undoy pwede raw kame kumuha ng mga bato para dalhin pabalik e. kaso goodluck naman sa excess baggage. hehe.

sunod naming pinuntahan ang hanging bridge sa loboc, tapos yung tarsier sanctuary. hindi rin pwedeng hindi namin ma-experience ang loboc river cruise. super na-enjoy ko talaga yung panghaharana ni manong at yung sayaw ng natives. naiyak pa ako kasi sobrang overwhelmed ako. basta, ang hirap i-explain. i admire them. they are a great people. at sa totoo lang, kung bibigyan ako ng pagkakataong manirahan dun, hinding-hindi ako magdadalawang-isip. para sa akin, isa siyang munting paraiso. nature at it's best, gaya nga ng sabi ko sa kanya. tapos lahat nagtutulungan. panalo ang tourism nila dun, well-coordinated. may competition syempre pero makikita mo talaga yung tulungan sa bawat isa. astig talaga mga boholano!

last naming pinuntahan ang baclayon church. sobrang konti lang kasi ng time namin dun kaya hindi na namin napuntahan yung iba pang sites. pero ok na rin kasi yung major attractions naman e napuntahan namin. :) going back to baclayon church, isa siya sa oldest churches sa asia and if i remember it right, 1st church ata siya na gawa sa capiz or shells. something like that. i wasn't able to take down notes nung nag-eexplain si kuya undoy pero yun ang tanda ko. hehe.

after the tour, bumalik na kame sa apartelle para kunin ang mga gamit namin. larga naman papuntang pier. we arrived just in time. sumakay kame sa supercat papuntang cebu. at dahil mga pagod, karamihan sa amin tulog during the trip (kaya wala masyadong pictures. hehe.).

cebu na! walang nagsundong van kaya kelangan naming mangontrata. isa lang ang na-realize ko: para rin palang maynila ang cebu, TRAFFIC everywhere! hehe. well, ganun talaga ata pag malapit sa pier e. baka sa ibang parts naman maluwag din yung mga kalsada.

ayun. pagdating pa lang namin, trouble na. basta hindi ko na idedetalye pa yung mga nangyaring hindi maganda at nakakapang-init ng ulo. sa kabuuan naman ay naging maganda at fruitful ang conference. (the conference proper deserves a separate post. at gagawin ko yun after nito. :D)

feb. 21 - 2nd day ng conference at unang sabak namin sa choir. may mga aberya din pero happy naman ako (sana sila rin) sa result. sabi nga ni teacher kumanta lang kame for God, wag na naming isipin pa yung mga tao. promise, ang dami talaga. 7k ba naman e. eto na raw ang largest conference so far. (i'm sure next year mas madami pa yan. kitakits sa davao! :D)

dumating din pala sina billy crawford, iya, kat alano, uma, john pratts, victor basa, tsaka yung isa pang guy. haha. sorry, kapamilya kasi kaya di ko sila kilala. hehe. gk ambassadors sila. ayun. hindi masyadong malinaw yung mga kuha ko kasi malayo na kame sa stage e. pero kung makakasama sila sa bayani challenge sa april, at kung makakasama rin ako, malamang makuhaan ko sila nang malapitan. :D

workshop day din ito. i attended the "light to darkness" workshop kasama sina ate julie, kuya rhed, at kuya don. mas napamahal sa akin ang GK at mas determinado akong maglaan ng oras para makapag-serve through Gawad Kalinga. na-touch ako nang husto dun sa video presentation. at seryosong kinilabutan ako habang kinakanta yung lupang hinirang. i felt the same rush of emotion pag nanonood ako ng UAAP game, lalo na ng cheerdance at sobrang kabado ako for my school. again, mahirap iexplain pero basta ganun yung feeling. super motivating yung talk. mahihiya kang walang gawin para sa bayan natin.

isa pa palang magandang nangyari at sobrang ikinatuwa ko, nagtext sken si dan (classmate ko rin nung grade 3). he thanked me for my prayers. RN na kasi siya. ang galing no?! bago kame umalis ng manila, nalaman namin yung result ng architecture board exam kung saan pumasa sina ate aike at ate dixie. tapos habang nasa conference ako, nalaman ko namang pumasa rin si dan. nakakatuwa lang talaga kapag na-grant yung prayers mo for other people. and so far, lahat ng nagpadasal saken sa board exams, pumasa. kaya maraming manlilibre sken. haha. joke lang. will ni God yun. kaya with or without my prayers, mangyayari talaga yun. :) i'm so happy for the answered prayers. e ako kaya, kelan kaya iga-grant ni God yung prayers ko for myself? bakit pag iba yung pinagdarasal ko naga-grant naman? hehe. nagreklamo. pero minsan talaga nakakasama na ng loob. kasi yung prayers ko para sa iba sinasagot agad, yung para sken, laging delayed e. haha. joke lang po Lord. i know You have plans for me as well. at lahat mangyayari in Your time. i trust You enough. :) at happy na akong makatulong sa iba. kaya people, pag-pray niyo rin ako ha? baka kayo ang kelangan para ma-grant din yung prayers ko. haha. kulit lang. pero seryoso, if you have prayer requests, magsabi lang kayo. i'd be more than willing to pray for you. :)

feb. 22 - last day ng conference. umaaraw, umuulan. pero "the show must go on" sabi nga. after ng lahat ng pagod at puyat, natapos ang conference na may iniwang mahahalagang aral sa bawat isa.

after the conference, kumain ang chapter namin sa CNT lechon, sa tapat lang ng SM. tapos, sumakay na kame ng jeep papuntang Sto. Niño Church. from there, naglakad na papuntang Magellan's Cross at Tabuan Market. humiwalay na ako sa grupo. i went back to SM to meet with an old friend (literally old. haha. joke lang.) Nap. classmates kame from grade 3 to grade 6. he's working in yokogawa at nagkataong sa cebu siya naka-assign ngayon. at oo, nakakatawa lang kasi kelangan ko pang pumunta ng cebu para ma-experience ang mocha blends at figaro. haha. alam niyo naman ako, walang kahilig-hilig sa mga mamahaling lugar. hehe. salamat talaga kay nap. ayun, mega pictorial kame sa ayala at sa i.t. park. ang nice pala dun. balak sana naming pumunta sa tops. kaya lang sabi ni nap mahirap daw yung sasakyan pabalik. at nung nagpunta sila dun, inabot na sila ng umaga. kamusta naman diba? so hindi na kame natuloy. next time na lang. hehe.

pagbalik namin sa sacred heart, kung saan kame tumutuloy, nagkaroon pa kame ng raffle (ng promo pack na natanggap namin sa icon). ang galing lang kasi lahat may nakuha. pati kasi yung paper bag ni-raffle namin e. haha. ang saya lang. kahit na maraming naging problema, at the end of the day, tawanan pa rin lahat. :D

feb. 23 - araw ng pagbalik namin sa manila. umulan pa ng malakas. kamusta naman? at naloko pa kame ng taxi driver. kung kelan last day, dun pa kame nabiktima. oh well. oks lang. inisip na lang namin na tulong namin yun sa kanya. anyway, hanggang sa airport marami pa ring bloopers. kaya walang humpay pa rin ang tawanan at asaran at kulitan. ang saya lang talaga. at syempre hindi ko makakalimutan na ang huling bagay na binili ko sa cebu ay ang shirt na may statement na "i left my heart in cebu." bakit? ah basta, secret. haha. ang cute kasi e. parang ako lang. hehe. nakakatawa pa kasi naman kame yung unang sumakay sa plane. pero bumaba pa kame para magpicturan. haha. ayun, kame tuloy yung huling sumakay. at pagsakay namin, sinara na yung pinto ng plane. kame na lang pala talaga ang hinihintay. haha.

ayan. nasa manila na kame. balik na naman sa pagiging busy sa acads, sa work, at sa kung ano-ano pa. hay. pero at least for 5 days, kahit pano na-relax naman kame. ready na uli sa mga hamon ng buhay. naks. hehe.

yan na lang muna. next post, conference proper na. tapos yung susunod, yung mga nangyari naman after the conference. sasamantalahin ko na ang pagkakataon. baka ten years na naman bago ako makadaldal uli e. hehe.

magandang araw sa lahat! :)

Notes from the Pre-ICON Recollection

During the days when I wasn't online, I've been busy doing a lot of things, attending a lot of events, and going to a lot of places. Two of the highlights of the previous weeks are the following:
*Jan. 31 - Feb. 1: SFC Weekend 2 (Retreat) - Sitio Mayagay, Sampaloc, Tanay Rizal
*Feb. 3: Pre-ICON Recollection - CFC Center

I also had several company exams and interviews, chorale rehearsals, tutorials, thesis reports, etc. Busy is an understatement. But I thank God for being my Planner. He is simply amazing. Without Him, I would be lost. And so, for my "comeback post", I would like to share the things I have written during last night's recollection. Thanks to Kuya Michael who was a great recollection master and to Brother Ekie(?) for leading us to deep and powerful worship (I missed singing Nothing More & Heaven is Here).

*****
Note: Headings are provided by yours truly. They are only based on my understanding of the things discussed by the speaker/s. ^_^

For service to become a blessing and not a burden, keep in mind these three things:
1. Serve with a joyful heart.
2. Serve with a faithful heart, a heart that prays.
3. Serve with a loving heart.

It's not the talent that you have, it's not how well you do your job, it's the posture of your heart that matters most.

Emptiness is sometimes a state of grace. When you're empty, that's the only time when God can fill you.

5 Must-Have Attitudes of a Servant
1. Be joyful. Rejoice! -> God hears the plea of your heart. (Psalm 6:10; Psalm 34:5)
2. Always stand on the truth. -> Because when you do so, you can never be moved.
3. Live a sacramental life. Be full of grace. (To live a full life, one must receive the Holy Communion and confess regularly.)
4. Remain humble. -> Humility is asking God to take over. Affirm God that without Him, nothing can ever be accomplished.
5. Always act with love. -> The Lord doesn't want your time. The Lord doesn't want your talent and skills. THE LORD WANTS YOU! Let Him know how much you love Him.

That's it. :) I would like to end this post with a song. This is one of the songs I missed.

NOTHING MORE

I prayed for Your word and You answered me
Lord I asked for forgiveness and You pardoned me
I prayed for strength and You empowered me
Lord I asked for providence and You blessed me

There's nothing more I want
There's nothing more I need
There's nothing more I want
There's nothing more I need
Than to be with You

Teach me oh God to be faithful
Lord mold me to be patient
Teach me oh God to be secure in You
Lord mold me to love You

Good night & God bless everyone! ^_^

14 days to go before the 16th SFC ICON! (i am excited! :D)

Go Beyond Borders.

This was Father Raymond Arre's message during his homily this afternoon (21st of January). He talked about boundaries - those invisible "lines" we're not supposed to cross.

The Gospel today is from Mark 3:1-6. It's about a man with a withered hand who was healed by Jesus on the day of the Sabbath (which the Pharisees regard as unlawful).

Jesus tells us that sometimes, we have to cross boundaries, get out of our comfort zones, stretch our arms and reach out to our brothers and sisters in need.

I remember the International Missions Ministry of our community - "Beyond Borders". And I admire every single missionary who devotes his/her time and talent and treasure in service to others for the greater glory of God. I look up to those who go to the ends of the earth, mindful of the risks they have to take and obstacles they have to overcome, hopeful that the Lord will bless and protect them, and determined to proclaim God's kingdom and to testify to His love and mercy and goodness. (I can't be among them yet, but I would love to be one of them. Soon - if God says so.)

As I reflect on Father Raymond's homily, I came to realize one thing: Life isn't just black or white. There exists gray.

There are rules. But there are exceptions. There are "in-betweens." It's not always a matter of "right" or "wrong."

It's not wrong to follow conventions, it's not wrong to stick to the rules, it's not wrong to continue with the traditions, with what we're used to (and taught to) do, BUT, we have to ask ourselves: "Have we grown? Have we developed a deeper sense of maturity?"

While there is danger in crossing the line (going beyond the boundaries), there is also a risk of having a stagnant (not growing, not developing) life in "not crossing the line."

Which do we prefer? To succeed in doing nothing? Or to fail in doing something?

May we not always choose to be "safe", rather, may we be risk-takers, eager to discover new shores, learn new crafts, and be brave enough to respond to God's call and go where He leads us.

Father Raymond ended his homily with these words:
God is telling us, "Know your boundaries, but also learn to stretch your hands, your hearts, and your minds so that you can come closer to Me."

Those words reminded me of one of my favorite songs in the community. I have always loved to sing this:

And I will climb this mountain
And I'll step off the shore
And I have chosen to follow
To be by Your side forevermore...

Set your boundaries. But be bold enough to extend your territories. Never stop growing. Never stop learning. Live, not just exist. :)

Again, God bless everyone! ^_^ Until next post. :)