i can't think of a title for this one..

~*love someone and be happy about it, even if you know it cannot last forever. it's not about having someone nor about owning a relationship.. but it's about being happy because you're in love; there are purposes and meanings behind all events and these develop us, as a person and as a lover.. whatever relationship you have in your life now, is precisely the one you need at the moment.. don't pressure yourself with fear of losing someone.. instead, while you can, make the most out of what you have..*~

->one of those 'pasok sa banga' quotes, as chai calls them..

anyway, i'm glad that i've fixed whatever is needed to be fixed..
hindi ko pala talaga kaya.. ako rin ang naunang mag-sorry.. it's not true na kayang tiisin ng anak ang magulang.. depende siguro yun sa tao.. as for me, i love my parents that much that i can't afford to hurt them.. although hindi talaga maiwasan minsan.. good thing they understand..

i'm really blessed to have them as my parents.. kahit ano pang sabihin ng ibang tao, for me, they're still the best..

and now that we're ok again, as good as before, i feel relieved.. hindi talaga kasi ako mapalagay 'pag alam kong may hindi ako nalilinis na gusot.. lalo na kung involved ang parents ko..

God is good indeed! He constantly guides us to do what's right and what's good.. we just have to pray, ask for guidance, and seek the light..

have a good day everyone! God bless! =)

P.S. another good quote:

~*never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have..*~

recent quotes in my inbox..

have to erase them now but i don't have any more space in my notebook so i'll just post them here..

~*all your life you're marching onto your own tune.. one day, you'll be surprised to hear someone playing another tune that blends beautifully with yours.. that's true love.. it's not giving up who you are.. it is taking your identity and uniting it with someone else..*~

~*hurt: it's the reaction of the heart when it disagrees with what the mind tells us.. the fact that we're hurting means we know what to do, we just can't accept it..*~

~*one grows distant from another not because of hatred, but because of indifference, but because of fear.. there's the fear that the hurt gets greater as one gets closer; a recognition of the tendency to fall deeply, and consequently drown in a quicksand of stupid irrationalities.. sometimes, what drives one away is not the absence of emotion, but the overwhelming presence of it..*~

~*according to aerodynamics, bees can't fly.. because their small wings are fragile for their heavy bodies.. but they're able to.. because they believe they can..*~

~*we've always known what hurts, still, we haven't learned to stay away from such.. because as painful as it is, if that's the only way to feel their presence, we always give in.. we still check on them every now and then, just to see what's been happening since they left.. that even if sometimes we say 'i just wanna see him/her happy', deep in our hearts, there's this flicker of hope.. so then, its true, that the more you think you are healing, the deeper the wound is searing..*~

~*sometimes, you will feel like you just wanna cry all day.. collect all the pain the whole day brought you.. fill your heart with anger.. internalize every tear that fell from your eyes.. and feel numb about it.. when this happens, close your eyes and cry as much as you want to and end it with a smile.. life is tough.. but prove that you're tougher..*~

~*life has great options, but you don't always have to pick what seem to be the best.. sometimes, the best and the perfect aren't what makes you happy..*~

lies vs. secrets (the title doesn't say much about the content)

kasalanan ang magsinungaling di ba?

kasalanan din ba ang paglilihim?

hindi naman pagsisinungaling yun kasi wala ka namang sinabi e..

pero pa'no kung nagtanong? tapos hindi mo sinabi yung totoo?

kasalanan na yun di ba? kasi somehow, nagsinungaling ka na rin..

and that's what i don't want to happen.. as much as possible, gagawin ko kung anong tama at kung anong dapat..

in other words, sinabi ko kung anong totoo..

and what did i get from not hiding the truth?

eto.. almost grounded na rin..

ayoko pa naman sa lahat yung maraming sinasabi.. and alam nila yun..

pero yung nangyari kagabi.. iba.. God knows kung ga'no kasama ang loob ko..

at sa inis ko nga, parang nasagot ko na rin siya e.. hindi naman kami nagsigawan, pero pakiramdam ko, kung ako yung nasa kalagayan niya, masasaktan ako sa mga sinabi ko..

pero hindi ko pa magawang mag-sorry.. kasi masama pa rin ang loob ko e..

i talked to God.. nagkulong kasi ako sa kwarto para mailabas yung hindi magandang nararamdaman ko..

hindi mawala sa isip ko yung isang bahagi ng pag-uusap namin...

"tingnan mo nga yang katawan mo.."

"nakikita ko, hindi ako bulag.."

"ano bang mangyayari kung hindi ka pupunta dun?

sinong kasama po pauwi? sino naman yun?

'yan ang hirap pag sobrang tiwala e

may pasok ka pa bukas.. anong oras na matatapos yun?"

"..sabihin mo na lang kung ayaw mo akong papuntahin.."

gusto ko siyang intindihin.. gusto lang niya akong protektahan..

pero hindi ko pa rin maunawaan e.. basta ang alam ko, gusto ko yung ginagawa ko.. wala na sken yung nangyari before.. besides, hindi naman ako sumali sa community para lang sa kanila (i'm talking about the members).. sumali ako kasi gusto ko.. more than anything else, si God ang primary reason ng pagsali ko..wala akong pakialam kung anong ginagawa ng mga kasama ko.. hindi rin mahalaga sa akin kung minsan nagkakaroon ng mga hindi magandang pangyayari..

masama ba ako?

hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa kayang mag-sorry..

mamaya siguro.. bahala na..

ngayon tuloy parang nag-iisip na akong maglihim na lang kung sakali mang may hindi na naman magandang nangyari.. hay..

buti na lang nakausap ko siya kagabi.. hindi ko man nasabi sa kanya yung nangyari, alam kong naramdaman niyang may pinoproblema ako.. siya nga ata yung sumalo ng pagka-badtrip ko e.. pero na-realize ko naman yun kaya bumawi ako agad.. unfair naman kung sa kanya ako magagalit.. wala naman siyang alam..

if not for him, my day would have ended badly.. super bad mood talaga.. pero today's a new day.. medyo sad pa rin ang mood ko kasi hindi pa kami ok.. pero sana maayos na..

magtatrabaho muna ako.. habang pinag-iisipan ang ilang bagay..

sabi ni Bob Ong, "hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan ito.. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan.."

politics as a vocation

In her speech at the Ateneo University recently, former president Cory Aquino enumerated what she believed to be the qualities of an ideal leader for our times. She said that he or she “must have a sense of right and wrong, of morality and justice, and a sense of kinship with all of our people.”

These are very general characteristics which can be claimed by almost every contender for the presidency today. Ms. Aquino tried to explain what kind of person she had in mind by giving this composite picture: “...the intelligence of Pepe Diokno, the charisma of Ramon Magsaysay, the courage of Nene Pimentel, the soothing and healing personality of Christian Monsod, the vision of Jose Rizal, and the commitment to the country of all the Filipinos at EDSA.” But this too only impresses upon the citizen the near impossibility of finding a living figure who can lead our nation at this time.

Perhaps what we need is not one person, but several, who can imagine themselves being “called” to politics, as priests and nuns are called to the religious life. Not every good person can make it as a politician. And as everyone knows, it takes more than an abundance of good intentions to run a government or lead a nation properly.

There are two types of individuals needed in government: the civil servants who will administer the affairs of government and not engage in politics, and the political leaders who will fight and assume responsibility for governance. Some of the good people Ms. Aquino mentions are cut out for administrative roles, but may not make it as political leaders. Others could be effective politicians but poor civil servants. What we may be looking for are individuals who, in the words of the German sociologist Max Weber, have a real “vocation for politics.”

Politics here is simply understood as the striving to change or influence the distribution of power in society. In Weber's view, this field properly belongs, and should go, not to those who “live off” politics but to those who “live for” politics. In the modern state, political power has become so concentrated in political officials that it behooves everyone who wields it to ask how he can hope to do justice to this power.

Thus Weber asks: “What kind of a man must one be if he is to be allowed to put his hand on the wheel of history?” Exactly what Ms. Aquino tried to answer in her speech at Ateneo. Max Weber – to whose writings all political sociology invariably turns – mentioned “three preeminent qualities (that) are decisive for the politician”: passion, responsibility, and proportion.

The first is passionate devotion to a cause, whatever this cause might be. The ideal politician approaches politics not as a playground for his ego, but as field in which he seeks to achieve a cause much larger than himself, his family or corporation. The striving for power in his case is a purely objective enterprise, which he takes up methodically and relentlessly, and dedicates exclusively to the service of “the cause.” He does not allow himself to enjoy it for “purely personal self-intoxication.” This passion, Weber warns, is not the same as the “sterile excitation” that is common enough among intellectuals.

The second is the feeling of responsibility. The true politician is driven by a substantive purpose. He is concerned with producing concrete results, not impressions. Therefore, he never takes lightly the responsibility for the outcome of his actions. He cares and worries if his actions cause injury to other people. Even as he passionately devotes himself to “the cause,” his political conduct remains rooted in an “ethic of responsibility.” This is an attitude that compels the leader to give an account always of the foreseeable consequences of his decisions. Thus, the responsible politician will never be heard invoking the authority of “ultimate ends” to justify indifference or unmindfulness about injurious results.

The third is a sense of proportion. Unlike the “power politician” for whom politics is nothing but an ego trip, the true politician maintains a “distance towards one’s self” – he resists the temptations of a “quite vulgar vanity”. He has an instinct for power. Yet he looks upon the striving for power not as enjoyment but as an unavoidable means to the attainment of a higher goal. Therefore, he never loses his objectivity. He is neither resentful nor vengeful. In victory, he thinks of “the responsibility towards the future which above all burdens the victor.” He does not exploit ethics or dishonor the enemy he has defeated.

This notion of the political vocation restores to politics the dignity it has lost in many societies. At the same time, it is a reminder of the arduous tasks that await those who are “called” to it. Because of my exposure in media, people often ask me if I have any plans of entering politics. My answer has always been, following Weber’s criteria, that I feel I do not have the passion for it.

I am filled with awe by the standards by which this great thinker, Max Weber, measures politicians and would-be politicians. He concludes: “Only he has the calling for politics who is sure that he shall not crumble when the world from his point of view is too stupid or too base for what he wants to offer. Only he who in the face of all this can say ‘In spite of all!’ has the calling for politics.” It is not of politicians, as we know them, that Weber seems to speak. He is really speaking of leaders and heroes.


PDI, September 1, 1996


**I got this from Prof. Randy David’s “Nation, Self and Citizenship: An Invitation to Philippine Sociology”

i hope this article would enlighten the minds of the voters and the politicians, especially.. God bless everyone! =)

i almost died last sunday.. lessons on appreciating God's countless blessings..

10:15 PM 4/30/2007

i can't carry on anymore.. i'll continue with this blog entry tomorrow morning..

just a quick overview: this post will contain my experiences during our Lord's Day and Fellowship in Batangas, my recent realizations, and text messages which have touched my heart in one way or another..

'til tomorrow..

1:45 PM 5/1/2007

i woke up at 10am today to watch detective conan.. i really love that show.. i'm learning a lot.. and here's one of the things he (conan/sinichi) said na talaga namang tumatak sa isip ko:
"walang tama o maling deduksyon, dahil isa lang ang katotohanan.."

anyway, eto na yung continuation ng story ko.. by the way, just a warning, this is going to be a long post.. marami kasi akong sasabihin.. let me start with what happened last saturday..

may nagawa na akong post last sunday kaso lang i wasn't able to finish it kasi sobrang sleepy na talaga ako.. plus the fact that i have to be up by 6:00am the following day for my internship..

after the long introduction, eto na talaga.. =)

on saturday morning, i went to manila to have lunch with him.. ayoko ng magbigay ng details about it.. amin na lang yun.. but i was happy to see him again.. i missed him a lot kahit na almost every night ko siyang kausap.. i left at around 3pm to prepare for our Lord's Day and Fellowship/Outing sa Batangas.. super excited ako pumunta sa beach.. sabi nga ni binoy, romantic daw yung setting.. well, it's not really that.. what i'm looking forward to is the serene ambiance that only nature could provide.. and for some reason, i have always believed that the sea could heal a broken soul.. and yes, i think i am broken..

when i got home, i packed my things up, took a quick shower, and hurried to rosario to help in the preparation for the Lord's Day ceremony..

hindi ko na sasabihin pa yung details kasi may mga hindi magandang nangyari.. may mga sinumpong, kaya medyo nagkaroon ng tensiyon..

anyway, naging masaya naman yung gabi namin lalo na nung praisefest.. lahat kasi ng kinanta, gusto ko.. especially yung 'heaven is here..'

after the Lord's Day, nag-prepare na kami para sa pagpunta sa Batangas.. while waiting for the other members, pumunta muna kami sa 711 para bumili ng iba pang kelangan.. at syempre i had to call my family at siya na rin..

nakakatuwa kasi dun sa 711, nagpa-picture pa kami.. batch namin at si kuya rap.. nung magbabayad na ako, sabi nung guy dun sa counter, "siguro ma'am ikaw yung pinakamaganda dun.." haha! natawa talaga ako.. kamusta naman? napansin pa niya ako.. ayun.. so bumalik na kami sa jeep.. at naghintay..
napag-usapan na namin ng isang brother na tabi kami kasi may dala akong pillow, kaso lang pinaghiwalay yung babae at lalaki para raw magkaroon ng bonding yung sisters at brothers.. so ganun na nga..

dumating kami sa lemery around 3am.. konting pahinga lang sa bahay nina bea tapos tumuloy na sa beach..

i wasn't feeling well at that time kasi sobrang inaantok pa ako.. kaso lang excited ang lahat na abangan ang pagsikat ng araw..

around 5am, may dumating na banca.. at nag-alok si manong ng boating hanggang sa coral reefs.. at syempre, sumama ako..

i was with ate ive, ate glenda, karen, jhoy, and tin.. nakakatuwa kasi sobrang layo ng narating namin.. at sobrang na-enjoy namin yung view.. personally, i was satisfied with that trip..

when we reached the farthest point that we could get to, we shouted at the top of our lungs.. wala lang.. para lang ma-release lahat ng dala-dala naming excess baggage..

i wanted to cry there but no, nature is so beautiful to enjoy.. walang lugar ang pag-iyak.. at that time and place, i felt nothing but gratitude for such a wonderful world.. ang sarap ng feeling.. it's a different kind of freedom.. and i've proven that indeed, the sea could heal my broken soul..

tama si binoy, sobrang romantic ng setting.. kaso lang i was with the sisters.. i wish i was with him.. with tweet2, with my family.. and isa yun sa goals ko.. someday, makakasama ko rin ang mga taong pinakamamahal ko sa gitna ng dagat.. but it doesn't mean na hindi ko na-enjoy yung moment na yun..
no, i was very happy at that time.. at mas na-appreciate ko yung sisters habang kasama ko sila..

and what's even more amazing is the fact that we're able to witness the sunrise.. and it feels so good to travel along the path of the light of the sun.. sakto talaga.. i swear, sobrang perfect ng moment na yun.. sayang nga lang wala kaming dalang camera.. but that moment will be forever in my heart.. i don't know how to explain what i felt upon seeing the sun shining and smiling on me.. basta ang alam ko lang, we believed and we claimed that something wonderful is going to happen.. for us, it was a miracle.. at thankful kami kasi alam naming hindi magtatagal, makakamit na rin namin yung mga matagal na naming pinapangarap at pinagdarasal..

after the boating, naglakad naman kami sa shore.. at dun na kami nag-bond nang husto ni ate glenda..

pagbalik namin, inenjoy naman namin ang dagat.. kaso lang may hindi magandang nangyari.. as the title of this post says, i almost died.. exagg nga siguro pero yun kasi yung naramdaman ko e.. seconds lang yun but it seemed forever to me.. that situation reminded me of the people i love the most.. i only thought of 4 people.. kung sino sila, hindi na mahalaga.. basta alam kong sila ang dahilan kung bakit ayoko pang lisanin ang mundong ito..

salamat kay kuya mer at ate yet na tumulong sken.. wala na akong ibang nagawa kundi ang umiyak.. sobrang natakot talaga ako.. i was traumatized.. feeling ko its already my end.. hindi ko na nga alam kung sino2 yung lumapit at yumakap sken pero salamat sa kanila.. their hugs meant a lot.. i wanted to call my parents.. i wanted to call him.. i just needed a hug.. that's all..

sakto namang oras na ng breakfast and everyone was busy preparing the food, except for those who tried to comfort me.. i tried to be okay.. kaso lang i'm still not over the situation.. ang sakit sa dibdib.. ang tindi talaga ng nerbiyos ko.. i did nothing but cry to release the tension and the trauma that i feel..
pero hindi pa rin talaga.. nilapitan na ako ni sidh para patahanin.. i won't forget how he tried to comfort me by treating me like a baby.. sabi niya kain na raw muna kami.. mamaya raw swimming uli kami.. i was like, "awww.. that was so sweet.." i wanted to hug him but i don't have the strength to stand and face them.. tapos tinanong ako ni ate glenda kung gusto ko raw bang maglakad.. i said yes because i thought that's the best thing i could do.. lumayo muna.. nakahanap kami ng perfect spot para umupo at mag-relax.. na-appreciate ko talaga yung ginawa ni ate glenda.. she just let me cry my heart out.. release the tension.. and regain my composure.. she just listened.. she cared..

nasabi ko na sa kanya halos lahat ng pwede kong ikwento.. tungkol sa taong patuloy kong minamahal.. sa pamilya ko.. at nakinig lang siya..

honestly, that near-death experience has taught me to appreciate my brothers and sisters more.. especially those who really cared.. si kuya mer, si ate yet, si sidh, at si ate glenda.. pati na rin yung lumapit para i-hug ako.. isa na ata dun si bea..

i really didn't expect those people to show such concern.. lalo na si sidh.. he's a nice guy pero may mga times na suplado siya sken.. but i was surprised with what he did and i appreciate that.. there are only two guys who have treated me that way.. leonard and sidh..

hindi ko matandaan kung na-mention ko na yun before.. pero just so you know, i lost my USB last march.. at sa sobrang sama ng loob ko kasi sobrang importante nun sken, nag-text ako kay leonard para sabihing tumawag siya.. upon hearing his voice, i immediately cried.. crying shoulder ko kasi talaga siya ever since i came to know him.. and what he said really melted my heart.. sabi niya "wag ka ng umiyak.. 'yaan mo, bibili tayo ng bagong USB.." what i felt then was the same feeling that i had last sunday upon hearing almost the same words from sidh.. different situations but same manner of trying to comfort me..

lalo pa akong na-overwhelm kasi nung bumalik kami ni ate glenda, tumawag si papa at nangangamusta.. naiyak na naman ako uli pero hindi ko na sinabi sa kanya yung nangyari para di na siya mag-alala pa..

bumalik pa rin naman ako sa tubig pero sandali na lang at kasama ko na sina kuya mike at kuya toto na tinatawag akong 'bunso..'

bago kami umuwi, dumaan muna kami sa taal church.. and again, umiyak na naman ako..

on our way home, si kuya mike, kuya ron, jan, at yun bag ni sidh ang naging tulugan ko..

pagdating ko sa bahay, hindi ko naitago kay mama yung nangyari kasi naramdaman din niya.. nagising daw siya nung oras na yun kasi nananaginip siya and when she woke up, she was already crying.. she can't remember her dream pero nagising lang siya kasi napagod na siya kakaiyak.. when she heard the story, syempre nagalit siya.. hindi raw dapat nangyari yun.. mahirap daw talaga yung sobrang tiwala.. i begged her not to tell papa about it.. kasi baka sabihin niyang umalis na ako sa community, which i never want to do.. alam ko namang hindi intentional yun e.. it was just an accident..

after kumain, at gumawa ng progress report for my internship blog, natulog na ako.. hindi ko na talaga kayang pumunta pa kina ronald para batiin siya ng 'happy birthday' at mag-sorry sa hindi ko pag-attend ng party niya nung saturday.. i texted him and told him that i can't blame him kung nagtatampo siya sken pero sana maintindihan niya..

the next morning, which was yesterday, i forced myself to wake up and prepare for my ojt.. tinanong ako ni mama kung ok na ba ako.. syempre medyo hindi pa.. parang ang bigat pa ng katawan ko.. dala na rin ng nerbiyos, puyat, at pagod sa biyahe.. but i have to be in the office.. kaya pinilit ko pa rin.. naisip ko wala namang pasok ngayon kaya pwede akong bumawi..

last night, he called.. pero before that, tumawag na rin si ronald.. and i'm glad na ok na kami.. bestfriend ko siya since elementary kaya naman masaya akong hindi na siya galit.. sobrang love ko rin yun and i never want to fail him.. it's just that nauna na akong nag-commit sa SFC.. pero yun, thank God nagkaayos na kami..

so, yun nga, tumawag din si leonard.. at syempre, hindi ko rin nadeny sa kanya yung nangyari.. as expected, hindi niya nagustuhan.. e medyo war freak talaga yun e.. parang si papa rin.. sabi niya, iwan ko na raw ang SFC.. lagi na lang daw akong umiiyak.. (alam din niya yung nangyari nung birthday ni kuya tj).. pero sabi ko nga, tapos na yun.. naiyak ko na.. nag-sorry na yung tao.. ok na ako.. hindi pa rin siya convinced and he's insisting a revenge.. tipong "hindi pwedeng ganun na lang yun.. pa'no kung hindi ka na-save, maibabalik ba ng sorry nya yung buhay mo if ever something worse happened? anong gusto mo, magpasalamat sa kanya for risking your life?" alam ko namang ganun na talaga magiging reaction niya.. protective din kasi yun eh.. pero syempre, ako pa rin naman ang magdedecide kung anong gusto kong gawin.. and i have decided to forgive and forget.. sabi niya sken, akala pa naman daw niya magagandang bagay ang ikukwento ko.. sobrang excited ko pa raw tapos iiyak lang pala ako.. nag-sorry ako sa kanya for not being able to buy balisong.. nakatulog kasi ako sa biyahe.. sa tagaytay na ako nagising.. natuwa lang ako sa sinabi niya na muntik na nga raw akong hindi nakabalik, pasalubong pa rin ang iniisip ko.. hehe.. syempre naman, takot ako sa kanya e.. at gaya ng inaasahan ko, pinagsabihan niya rin ako.. na may mali rin daw ako.. dapat daw hindi ako masyadong nagtitiwala.. yun din ang sinabi ni mama.. at malamang, yun din ang sasabihin ni papa.. sabi pa niya mas okay raw sana kung bloopers na lang yung nakwento ko.. mga tipong pwedeng ipalabas sa bitoy's funniest videos.. kaso lang walang ganun e..

ang dami ko na palang nasabi.. pero basta ang importante, na-appreciate ko yung nature, na-appreciate ko yung mga taong nagmamahal, at na-realize kong i have to be strong and i have to survive para sa mga taong mahal ko.. pamilya ko, si leonard, mga kaibigan, at mga tunay na nagmamahal at nagpapahalaga sken..

and of course, i appreciate life now more than ever.. sabi nga ni leonard, baka nga raw yun na yung miracle ko.. sort of 2nd life na rin.. hindi nga siguro ganun kadelikado yung nangyari pero kasi ganun yung naramdaman ko e.. sobrang big deal siya for me.. and i realized, i could die anytime.. and i have to be always prepared for it.. kaya while i'm still blessed to be alive, dapat wala akong sayanging panahon at pagkakataon.. dapat lagi kong ipaalam sa mga taong mahalaga sken na mahal ko sila.. at dapat din, ipakita ko yung appreciation ko sa mga taong nakakagawa ng kabutihan sken..

one last, happy ako sa mga natatanggap kong comments from people i don't know.. lalo na sa mga taong nag-rereact sa blog ko sa facebox (netlog na ngayon).. to soul_hunter, and to the pakistani guy, thank you so much! =)

i'm afraid i have to end this post here.. i still have some other things to do for chikka..

wala lang, bago ko tapusin 'to, gusto ko lang sabihin na ka-txt ko si kuya delmer ngayon.. at sabi niya, na-miss daw niya yung bonding nung sunday.. sana raw hindi na natapos ang araw na yun.. well, ako rin.. despite the not-so-good things that happened, sobrang special pa rin ng araw na yun.. at happy rin ako to be able to bond with them.. sa uulitin..

i'd like to end this post with a beautiful message from bernard.. thanks dude!

~*never regret a day in your life.. good days give you happiness, bad days teach you experience.. both are essential to life.. all are God's blessings..*~

good day and God bless everyone! *hug* =)

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the following are my journal entries which i wasn't able to post in my blogs.. read on if you still have time.. the text messages are beautiful.. =)

8:03 PM 4/29/07 *this is the post i was talking about..*

before anything else, i would like share the following quotes i recently received from my good friends..
i don't have that much space in my inbox that's why i have to erase text messages regularly.. and today is my schedule of deletion.

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES:
oftentimes, we need to pray not because we need to change the situation, but primarily because we need God to change our attitude towards the situation.

every moment we waste with anger and worries are moments of happiness we steal from ourselves. there's never been a day or night that God didn't remember you, not a moment that He didn't watch over you, never a time He didn't protect you, because God loves you.

it's better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life.

it's hard to wait around for something that you know will never happen, but it's harder to stop when you know it's everything you've always wanted.

the starting point of maturity is the realization that "no one is coming to the rescue." everything you are or ever will be is entirely up to you.

it's not one great deed that defines who you are. it's the little good things you do to others day by day that counts. carry on! others may not notice but God does.

LOVE QUOTES:
there are things you can't see but you choose to believe..reasons you have but you can't explain.. mistakes you can't bring yourself and a love so questionable but you still choose to fight for.

if your heart gets broken, don't be bitter.. don't turn your back on love.. just keep on trying.. because there is no better remedy for love but to love again.

LOVE..
it means trusting yourself with someone who has seen you at your worst and loves you anyway..
it means teasing each other and laughing at inside jokes nobody but only the two of you understand..
it means feeling safe enough to talk about anything and having the patience to work out disagreements..
it means counting on someone who sympathizes when you had a bad day, worries about you when you're gone too long, and always welcomes you with open arms no matter what.

loving many people all at the same time is like eating candies with different flavors.. it's fun because you get to taste all of them.. but once you're done, and when they're all gone, can you tell which candy was the sweetest? stop fooling around.. learn how to let things go.. know that you cannot have everything.. stick with someone who makes you happy.. you only get to live once.. get rid of the other candies and do yourself a favor.. stay with the one you love most.

when letting go becomes the hardest choice you'll ever make, all you have to do is keep calm for a while & tell your heart "all things come and go, you only have to learn how to set it free."

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9:00 AM 4/27/07
bloody chikka internship..

fifth day na namin dito and things are getting worse.. hay.. kamusta naman? quiz about the doctoral thesis we were asked to read.. coding of the subscription service (quote central - smart).. ano pa ba? i've expected things to be hard, but not this hard.. well, maybe because i am having this 'mild' influenza that's why i can't digest what i've been reading.. the result? i have to read that part again.. another wasted time.. honestly, i could feel that i am not in the proper condition now.. i'm not really feeling well.. i'm sick.. =(

i hope things would get better as i go on with my internship.. i still have barely 3 weeks to do a great job.. it isn't too late, is it?

by the way, if there have been difficult times, there are also good times, which happen during lunch breaks.. i'm really lucky to be with cool and fun people.. and we really get along well..

as a matter of fact, during our first day, after the contract signing, we had our pictures taken.. hindi naman kami camera addicts no? haha!

email message

Read only if you have time for God.
Let me tell you, make sure you read all the way to the bottom. I almost deleted this email but I was blessed when I got to the end.

God, when I received this e-mail, I thought...
I don't have time for this... And, this is really inappropriate during work.

Then, I realized that this kind of thinking is... Exactly, what has caused lot of the problems in our world today.

We try to keep God in church on Sunday morning...
Maybe, Sunday night...
And, the unlikely event of a midweek service.
We do like to have Him around during sickness...

And, of course, at funerals.

However, we don't have time, or room, for Him during work or play...

Because.. That's the part of our lives we think... We can, and should, handle on our own.

May God forgive me for ever thinking...
That... there is a time or place where..

HE is not to be FIRST in my life.

We should always have time to remember all HE has done for us.

If, You aren't ashamed to do this...

Please follow the directions.

Jesus said, "If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father."

Not ashamed?

Pass this on ONLY IF YOU MEAN IT!!

Yes, I do Love God.

HE is my source of existence and Savior.

He keeps me functioning each and every day. Without Him, I will be nothing. But, with Christ, HE strengthens me. (Phil 4:13)

This is the simplest test.

If You Love God... And, are not ashamed of all the marvelous things HE has done for you...

Send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you!

Now do you have the time to pass it on?

Make sure that you scroll through to the end.

Easy vs. Hard

Why is it so hard to tell the truth but Yet so easy to tell a lie?

Why are we so sleepy in church but Right when the sermon is over we suddenly wake up?

Why is it so easy to delete a Godly e-mail, but yet we forward all of the nasty ones?

Of all the free gifts we may receive, Prayer is the very best one....

There are no costs, but wonderful rewards... GOD BLESS!

Notes: Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Isn't it funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing?

Isn't it funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me.

I pray, for everyone who sends this to their entire address book, they will be blessed by God in a way special for them.

And send it back to the person who sent it, to let them know that indeed it was sent out to many more.

one week isn't enough for a vacation..

.. I wanted to have a break for a little longer but at the same time, I'm also getting a bit bored doing nothing.. I still have three days to relax (?) and feel the summer heat.. yes, I can feel the heat.. and it's burning me..

hmm.. how long have I been silent? According to my files, the last time I wrote a blog entry was on April 11, Wednesday.. well, I’ll start from where I ended..

April 11, Wednesday:
I went to the Chikka office for the orientation regarding my internship (which would start on Monday, April 23). I believe I went online after that.. Anyway, the orientation was fine. I was able to meet the other interns and I was glad that Angel was there. She’s also from UP.. there are four of us in the group under Sir Victor, and the other two are from DLSU.. we just signed some papers, and Ms. Mia, briefed us with what we’re supposed to do during our internship. We also talked about our schedules and settled other issues..

April 12, Thursday:
We had our music min practice.. and the only bad thing about it was the invasion of my greatest enemies – mosquitoes..

April 13, the dreaded Friday the 13th:
I went to school to register for the summer classes. Our practicum isn’t required; it’s an elective so we have to enroll so we can get the credits from it.. there were some ‘nice’ things that happened on my way to UP.. ask kuya ian/tweet2 if you want to know what those things were.. =) however, while there were wonderful things coming my way, there were also some bad news waiting for my arrival.. I didn’t find my name in the eligibility list, which makes me ineligible to enroll.. “good heavens”, I thought.. the reason stated was “did not satisfy contract” which was a big mistake because I know for a fact that I did.. but of course, words aren’t enough.. what they need were documents to prove that I have satisfied what was written on the contract.. good thing I bought my completion form and some of my class cards.. but, there’s still a problem, one of my instructors haven’t submitted the class cards yet.. hmm.. do I need to go into details? It’s quite long.. again, ask tweet2 for more info.. ask alpha for she was with me for the longest time.. by the way, that girl had also her share of struggles.. and so I asked her if she wanted to go with me to Quiapo.. for some reason, Quiapo has been my sanctuary during the frustrating, difficult, and trying times like these.. we hoped to attend the mass but we were too late so we stayed at the adoration chapel instead.. there, we breathed out everything.. all the frustrations, depressions and whatever “-ions” we had.. as I expected, I felt a lot better after crying my heart out.. and I believe alpha felt the same.. =) it was a tiring day.. and when I got home, I can’t do anything but lie down and sleep..

Oops, I forgot to say: I’ve been worried about Friday the 13th since my grandfather died (April 13, 2001).. but I guess things have changed and now, I’m no longer afraid of Friday the 13th..

April 14, Saturday:
I had my “girl thing” and I was bedridden.. I must say that it was among the most uncomfortable days I’ve ever had.. I suffered from ulcer and dysmenorrhea.. you could guess that I was really having a hard time..

April 15, Sunday:
Again, I stayed in bed all throughout the day.. I wasn’t able to attend the mass and to serve as part of the choir.. =(

I spent time watching “blaze of glory” and I had an instant crush on JC Chavez Jr. he’s everything I want.. haha! “he has the looks of an actor but the punch of a killer” as commented by Quinito Henson and Chino Trinidad.. he hasn’t lost any game and out of his 31 wins, 24 were by TKO.. he’s really admirable!

April 16, Monday:
I went to school again to go on with my enrollment (after getting the required documents from Ms. Mia of Chikka) and through God’s grace, I was able to finish the registration.. binoy was with me and we really had a great time together.. we ate ice cream and stayed at the track oval while waiting for chai.. there, we talked about almost everything under the sun, love stuffs in particular.. when chai arrived, we ordered halo-halo from LKB and bonded again at the track oval..

Sarap talaga ng feeling na kasama ang barkada.. and although there were only three of us, we were still able to enjoy each other’s company.. =)

April 17 & 18 (Tuesday and Wednesday):
I did nothing aside from house chores and reading the PDL..

April 19, Thursday:
Some bad things really annoyed me.. kuya ian knows that.. but my day ended beautifully as I was able to spend the night with my brothers and sisters in the community.. after the music min practice, we went to kuya tirso’s house and ate the usual meal – pansit.. at syempre kasama na ang kwentuhan dun.. =)

Tagal ko na rin palang nawala sa service.. well, sabi nila.. kung sa bagay, na-miss ko na rin sila.. hmm.. excited na ako sa outing.. sana talaga makasama ang karamihan lalo na si kuya ian, ang aking paboritong kuya.. =)

April 20, Friday:
I just finished writing about what had happened during the previous week.. and this time, text messages na naman ang idadaldal ko..

I have 17 messages in my inbox and 14 of those are quotes about life, love, and some other things.. I find every quote worthy to be mentioned so here they go:

*it’s better to have nobody than somebody who is half yours, half there or doesn’t want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears*
>>get’s nyo ba? Honestly, I’m not sure if I agree to it.. parang oo na parang hindi eh..

*when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown.. but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap the idiot on the face*
>>now, this one made me smile.. but I don’t think I’ll do that.. I’m not really that kind.. when someone annoys me, I usually lock myself up in a room, and cry my heart out while talking to my God.. in that case, hindi ako mapapa-away..

*GF: ihatid mo q
BF: wala aqong pera, inoperahan c lola, wala pang padala si dad
GF: ayaw mo? Hindi ka mka2score sken
BF: aba’y tingnan mo nga naman.. may naipit plng 200 sa wallet q*
>>ehem.. sino kayang natatamaan? Hehe..

*plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they did not slow down to enjoy it*
>>true!

*no one is born happy.. but all of us are born with the ability to create happiness*
>>true again!

*what if you don’t believe in love.. then someone teaches you how.. then you fall for him and you believed.. but.. what if he’s not supposed to love you.. only to teach you?*
>>ouch! That hurts.. hanggang dun lang ang comment ko..

*sometimes it’s not the tears that measure the pain, sometimes, it’s the smile*
>>agree!

*pag may mahal ka, be contented. Wag ka maghanap ng bagay na wala sa kanya.. wag mo sya icocompare sa iba.. kasi mas masarap magmahal nang kontento kahit di kumpleto, kesa kumpleto nga, di naman totoo*
>>sana marealize ‘to ng mga dapat maka-realize..

*if you want pain.. if you like tears..if you need sleepless nights.. and suffering.. find a friend.. and fall in love.. *
>>I don’t think so.. I don’t usually fall for a friend.. in fact, I haven’t done that yet.. I’ve fallen in love with just one person.. and he wasn’t my friend.. although we became the best of friends while we were together.. hindi ko lang talaga tipo yung ganun.. pag kaibigan, kaibigan lang.. and based sa experience ko, kadalasan, nagkakaroon ng lamat ang friendship once na nagsabi na yung guy na he has some other feelings for me.. alam ni binoy yun, di ba? *wink*

Here’s my own version of that quote: if you want pain.. if you like tears..if you need sleepless nights.. and suffering.. find an insensitive, selfish person.. and fall in love..

*the advantage of having a bad memory is that you can enjoy the same good things for the first time several times..*
>>hmm.. no comment..

And last but not the least, eto ang pinakamatindi..
*IF THE HEART IS ONE OF THE STRONGEST MUSCLES IN THE HUMAN BODY, THEN WHY IS IT SO EASY TO BREAK? =’(*
>>bakit nga kaya?

At para wakasan ang napakahabang post na ito, here’s something which inspired me.. I got this from kuya ian..

"from your view point, everything's a mess but from my view point, everything's perfect"
- God (Joan of Arcadia)


P.S. if you’ll notice some errors, whether typographical or grammatical, pagpasensyahan nyo na.. medyo nanlalabo na rin kasi ang paningin ko at pagod na ang mga mata ko para mag-proofread pa.. salamat sa pang-unawa.. God bless everyone! =)