IT HURTS! (repost)

i'm sorry, hindi ko kinayang hindi i-post. haha. read this from ruth's blog. loka talaga yung sis kong yun, after kong umiyak-iyak because of Susan Boyle, tawa naman ako to the max sa post na ito. at syempre, magcocomment din ako. :D
(yung nasa loob ng parentheses na comments ay galing kay ruth, yung comment ko, yung after ng '>>'. :D)

*letting go of a person you’ve just learned to love (ayun o!haaaaayyyyy…)
>>no comment. haha. :D

*reminiscing the good times you shared together (every moment, we shared together, is even better than the moments before…by westlife!)
>>and i miss you more whenever i think about you.. hehe.. moment of truth, fm static

*shielding your heart to love somebody (pwede ba yun? Kunsabagay…)
>>umm, pwede.

*trying to hide what you really feel (pambihira naman o! ako ba tinutukoy mo?)
>>haha. ikaw nga sis. :D

*trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes (O, hindi!!..sniff…)
>>ay hindi ako nakakarelate. i don't hide the tears e. i don't need to hide. hindi na kasi ako umiiyak. haha. (didn't i just say na naiyak ako kay Susan Boyle? hehe.)

*loving a person too much (naku, lahat ng sobra, masama…)
>>oh yeah. too much of something is bad enough. :)

*giving up someone you never thought of giving up (ayun o! may ganun talaga teh?)
>>oo. may ganun. :D

*having the right love at the wrong time (may ganun ba?malamang hindi yun right love)
>>parang somewhere down the road lang.. we had the right love at the wrong time.. :D

*taking the risk to fall in love again (masakit ba yun?hindi ako makarelate..echos!)
>>if i should love again, if i find someone new.. haha.. after Susan Boyle, Barry Manilow fever naman. :D

*hiding your relationship from someone else (ay, ang sakit nga naman yun…why hide it?)
>>oo nga, why hide it? kasi it's complicated? hehe.

*controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend (my goodness!namemersonal ka ba?ha?)
>>haha. pinepersonal ka ba sis? iniisip ko pa kung nakaka-relate ako. hehe. pero oo, sometimes, hindi ko masabi yung gusto kong sabihin o gawin yung gusto kong gawin kasi ayokong makasakit. at ang kapalit nun, ako ang nasasaktan. naninikip dibdib ko e. lalo na pag galit na ako tapos ayokong makapagsalita ng masakit kaya pipigilin ko yung galit ko. wala lang. ang haba ng comment ko. hehe.

*thinking of him/her every waking and sleeping moment knowing all the while that he/she never even thinks a single thought of you (ouch..oo nga naman…tsk tsk!)
>>isa lang solusyon diyan, think happy thoughts. :D kaso may follow-up question, pano kung siya yung happy thought? hmm. e di think of happier thoughts. haha. pero kasi naman OA naman yung thinking of him/her every waking moment. kamusta naman yun? pwede naman siguro every after one hour. hehe. i told a joke. :D

*letting go, because every time you see the person, you only fall deeper (namumuro ka na ha…)
>>haha. sino bang gumawa nito? sunugin! hehe.

*holding back only to find out when it’s too late, you both felt the same way, but were only scared to lose each other so much that you didn’t let the feelings out (ang haba naman…nosebleed!sniff!)
>>onga, ano daw? haha. oo gets ko. hindi nga lang ako maka-relate. :p

*falling in love with someone you didn’t mean to fall in love with (awwww….)
>>masakit ba yun? isn't that a wonderful thing? diba pleasant surprise yun? that's what you call 'magic' or 'destiny'. hehe. yun nga lang, ibang usapan na yun kung sa may asawa ka na-inlove. hehe.

*finding the perfect boy/girl…with only one problem…he/she doesn’t love you the way you want him/her to (hmmm…familiar story ha..)
>>ay eto imposibleng mangyari. kasi walang perfect na tao. :p

*helping the one you love court your friend (kumusta, palagi na lang ganito!)
>>haha. hindi pa naman 'to nangyayari. and i wish hindi mangyari. hehe.

*seeing the one you love crying for someone else (ehem..no comment…)
>>naman. buti na lang hindi girl yung "someone else" na yun. lalaki pala. haha. joke lang. :D

*the waiting also hurts like hell (hmmm, not really, coz patience is a virtue…true love is worth waiting for!)
>>Amen to that Sis!

*having to hear…”I’ve met someone.”(ayus lang..na-meet lang naman nya eh!ha ha!)
>>haha. sino kayang nakaka-relate?! ehem. heelz? nababasa mo ba 'to? haha. "i've met someone. tapos yun, naging kame." wahaha. peace heelz! :D

*agreeing to his/her wish to “just be friends” (naku, may mas masakit pa dyan, I tell you…)
>>to this i can't relate. really. :D never pa akong sinabihan nun e. "i hope we can be even just friends" or "let's be friends" lang mga linyang narinig ko. :D

*asking his/her freedom back because “he’d/she’d be happier with him/her” (anu raw?he he!)
>>he always has his freedom. :D

*asking you to “forget that everything happened” and be “normal” friends again (hindi ako makarelate…sorry)
>>ako rin, can't relate. ay teka, nangyari na pala 'to. parang. hehe. tama ba tweet2? i remember si dan at si vincci pa yung kumausap sa akin tungkol dun. hehe. kasi naman, hindi dapat tumatalo ng kaibigan. :D

*hearing that you’re treated as a little bro/sis (eto na nga ba sinasabi ko eh…bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan, iyak na lang..he he!)
>>hay nako. kaya nga neutral ako sa concept ng pagiging "bunso" ko e. sometimes i love being called that way, pero at times, nakakalungkot na ewan din. or siguro may trauma pa rin ako sa word na yun. kasi naman, ikaw ba naman sabihan ng: "................................., bunso!" secret na lang kung ano yun. haha.

*sharing his/her future plans for the girl/boy with you (ang sakit nga naman no’n pare!)
>>most of my friends have done this, pero di naman ako na-hurt. happy pa nga ako for them e. pero yun nga lang, there's a part of me that wishes na sana may magsabi rin ng future plans niya for me. halimbawa, singing career, o di kaya opportunity to travel abroad, tsaka house and lot sa loyola grand villas. haha. ambisyosa. :D

*you stopped being friends because his gf/bf asked him/her to (ang saklap naman nun!friends na nga lang eh…)
>>waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! nakaka-relate ako! huhu. soul sis, i miss you na talaga! hay. pero di naman talaga natapos ang friendship naten diba? syempre, takas-takas pa rin. haha. hay nako. bakit ba kasi may mga over-selosong boypren (at sige na nga, girlpren na rin. hehe.)?

*being denied in front of people (I hope this won’t happen to me…)
>>denied? nakaka-relate din ata ako. haha. diba soul sis?

*telling you lies where he’d/she’d been when actually, he/she was with a new friend or an old flame (ang bad naman nun…)
>>ehem. at isa pang ehem. ayoko ng alalahanin. haha. :D

*he/she told you he’d/she’d be leaving you to return to his/her ex (the one she left for you) (anu ba yan, paiba iba ng isip…labo mo teh!)
>>ay parang hindi 'to mangyayari. AT HINDI 'TO MANGYAYARI. kasi yung next, will be my last. so wala na siyang babalikan pa. hehe. that's the spirit. :D never stop hoping and praying aiza. :D

*breaking someone’s heart (hala…parang guilty ako dito?)
>>this is so true. ganun daw talaga pag mabait e. hehe. pero seryoso, kung may konsensiya kang tao, masasaktan ka rin pag nakasakit ka ng iba.

*fighting for that one thing that would make you happy that is, holding on to a person who can not guarantee you his/her commitment unless he/she fixes himself/herself…then, you are left hanging for the moment..then he/she says, time will tell…ang labo lang nya…but you still decided to hope in him/her and trust him/her (hay, buhay…)
>>ang haba, nakakatamad basahin. haha. basta eto na lang, i don't wanna fight no more, i forgot what we were fighting for.. hehe.. westlife fever naman. :D

*pretending you’re okay when inside you’re dying (namumuro ka na ha!kanina ka pa!)
>>haha. easy lang sis. :D kantahin na lang natin yung kanta ng MCR.. i'm not okay.. hehe. ay eto better song, from McFly, aahhhhhhhhhhhh.. i'll be okay. :D

*pretending to be strong. and recognizing your weakness (oh, yes!i’m a great pretender!har har!)
>>haha. why must we all conceal, what we think, how we feel.. reflection, christina a. :D wag na kasi mag-pretend, just be strong, really strong. :) ay pero may naalala rin pala ako. sabi ni Father Babes dati sa homily niya, "sometimes, you have to fake it to make it real", so hindi rin talaga masama mag-pretend paminsan-minsan. :D

*lying in bed each night, thinking of that special person you can never have (ha ha!parang westlife days lang ah!Mark feehily?)
>>haha. oo nga. ako naman kay shane. at syempre umiyak pa talaga ako nung nalaman kong nag-asawa na siya. haha. ganun ako kabaliw sa westlife dati. :D

*being with someone you can’t actually love (ok!)
>>oo nga. ok na lang din. wala akong masabi. can't relate e.

*pretending you don’t love a person whom you actually love (tsk!tsk!no comment)
>>ay naalala ko tuloy yung My Bestfriend's Girlfriend na movie. napanood ko lang sa GMA. sabi ni Maria dun, "akala ko dati mahirap magpanggap na mahal kita. mas mahirap palang magpanggap na hindi kita mahal".haha. o diba, kabisado ko pa. :D in fairness to me, paidlip-idlip pa ako habang nanonood nun. :D

*being in love (korek!pero pag kay Lord, everything’s alright!)
>>yes, love hurts. but sometimes it's a good hurt. :D (love hurts, incubus)

*letting go even if you really don’t want to…having no right to say you’re hurting because it was your decision (may tama ka!hu hu!)
>>oo na. hehe.

*seeing the person you love hurt because of you and not being able to help that person (hmmm..pwede…)
>>umm, oo. sobrang sakit talaga. last year, nung nagkasakit ako, mas nahirapan at nasaktan akong makitang nahihirapan sina mama. kaso wala akong magawa. :( pero buti na lang tapos yung period na yun. healthy na ako. praise God. :)

*having the courage to say ‘i love you’ to the person you love and finding out afterwards that things will never be the same again when he/she doesn’t treat you with the same closeness as before (naku, korek..kaya ako, discreet pa rin…para hindi ganun kasakit..tama di ba?)
>>eto naman parang maniwala ka sana ng parokya.. "ngayon ako'y nagsisisi kung bakit ako nag "i love you"!!! kasi di na tayo tulad ng dati" :D

*having to face the fact that someone is capable of completely destroying the wall that you have set for yourself, leaving you weak and vulnerable (ang sakit naman nun…)
*waaaaaaaaaah. taylor swift naman. teardrops on my guitar. the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart. tsaka yung konstantine ng something corporate. they'll never hurt you like i do.

*admitting that you love someone despite his/her imperfections (well, that’s acceptance..that’s normal naman)
>>oo nga, normal 'to. love is a decision nga diba? and when you love, you love the person, kasama na dun yung imperfections niya.

*finding out that the more you try to hate him/her, the more you end up loving him/her, perhaps even more than before (wow!the more you hate the more you love ba ang banat teh?)
>>ayun o! can't stop the hurt inside when love and hate collide. :D

*realizing how stupid your mistakes were that led to your break up (I can’t relate)
>>ay sorry na lang, hindi rin ako nakaka-relate. hindi ako ang may kasalanan. haha. hugas-kamay. :D pero totoo lang naman kasi.

*the thought that this guy/girl, used to really love you and you loved him/her as well kaso you didn’t give enough…he/she gave up on you na (ay, kasalanan mo yun teh!)
>>e ang kaso you already did your best, but your best wasn't good enough. haha. just once? james ingram? hehe. kantahan na lang kasi tayo. :D

*sharing the one you love with SOMEBODY else (it’s stupidity!)
>>korek. kung sa'yo, sa'yo. kung kanya, kanya. :D

*making a promise and realizing that when the time has come for that promise to be delivered…the commitment is no longer there (how I wish, hindi mangyari sa akin ito..pero parang papunta na dun..)
>>ano raw? hehe. no comment na lang. baka mali intindi ko e. :D

*the hardest thing about love—believing it exists (it depends..)
>>ay hindi naman. God exists. and God is love. so kahit wala ka pang "lovelife", you still have God. and that is more than enough. kasi only He can love us unconditionally and eternally. :)

*after you’ve been hurt….learning to forgive….learning to trust and love again (ayus lang..that’s life eh!)
>>tanungin niyo ako ng comment ko. hehe.

*seeing your partner battle with death! (my goodness!knocks on wood!)
>>that's something i don't think i can bear.

*but the hardest thing really is learning to love yourself ~ we always forget to do this (korek…now I’m thinking of a particular person…)
>>learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. :)

"At ito naman ang dagdag ko…

***It really hurts pag naging panakip-butas ka lang!!!! yung tipong ginamit ka lang kasi hindi pa sya makapag-move on… palipas oras, in other words…and suddenly that person will dump you just like that! (tamaan na ang dapat tamaan!—bitter?ha ha!)

But despite these things, cheer up! Because we’re counting on God!

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18"

si ruth pa rin nagsulat nung quoted part. nililinaw ko lang. hehe. eto yung sken, "what good is love when it keeps on hurting me.. i guess love would be nice for someone else's life.." hehe. joke lang. bigla ko lang naalala yung song ni Stacie Orrico (nasan na nga ba siya?) na "I'm Not Missing You" :D

seriously, pain is good. it keeps us alive. so don't be afraid of getting hurt. gaya nga ng lagi kong sinasabi, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger". kaya be thankful for the heartbreaks and heartaches. part yan ng process of growing up and becoming a better you. just make sure you learn your lessons.

eto yung naisip kong bagay na ending sa post na ito. naalala ko lang yung song: you've made me stronger by breaking my heart, you ended my life and made a better one start. you've taught me everything from falling in love to letting go of a lie. yes you've made me stronger, baby, by saying goodbye". :D

pagpasensiyahan niyo na kung puro kanta. e kasi naman singer nga ako diba? hehe. anong petsa na pala. masyado naman akong naaliw sa post na ito. westlife sis ruthie, thanks for this. :) stress-reliever. :D

o siya, tulog na ako. good morning people. :) yan ang epekto ng naiiwang mag-isa sa bahay nang matagal. walang ibang kausap, walang kasama. kung ano-ano tuloy nababasa ko. hehe. pero good thing din naman. kahit pano nakapag-reflect ako. seryoso yun. :)

things i want to say..

after two long years, nakabalik uli ako sa dagat! and yes, i super missed it!

out of town trips have always been an escape for me, escape from the chaotic city, escape from tons of work i need to do, and most of all, escape from people (who, most of the time, hurt me with the things they do and say and the things they DON'T do and DON'T say).

yesterday, i had that much awaited "break" (sabi ni ate aike, i deserve it daw, do i really?) dahil hindi naman payag ang family ko na hindi ako sumama sa company outing nina papa. oo nga naman, noon lang kasi uli kame makakapag-bond as a family. at maganda pa yung lugar (Nasugbu, Batangas) kaya hindi na ako nakatanggi pang sumama. walang tulog. (assembly rin kasi the other night - friday). sa biyahe na lang ako nagnakaw ng tulog. pero pagdating ng tagaytay, gising na gising na uli ako. bukod sa napakalamig, ayoko ring pumikit kasi gusto kong makita yung napakagandang scenery. country girl talaga kasi ako. kaya naman super enjoy ako sa mga nakikita kong taniman ng pinya, palayan, bundok, ilog, mga bahay, at kung ano-ano pa na sa probinsya ko lang nakikita. habang nasa byahe, bigla kong naisip, "I WILL LIVE HERE." hindi talaga "I WANT TO LIVE HERE", "I WILL" kasi someday, magkakaroon talaga ako ng bahay sa tagaytay. haha. ambisyosa no? hehe. bakit ba, sabi nga, DREAM BIG. wala namang imposible e. :D
pagdating namin sa venue, ang sarap sa pakiramdam. very therapeutic ang dagat. hay. 2 years din akong hindi nakapunta sa beach. puro pool lang. at ang huling dagat na napuntahan ko e sa Batangas din, sa Lemery naman (kasama ang SFC chapter ko, after ng Lord's Day ng batch nina Cat. at yun yung time na muntik na akong malunod. haha. tandang-tanda ko pa. at hindi ko makakalimutan yun!).

picture. kain. langoy. picture. kain uli. ligo. TULOG. around 7am kami dumating sa beach. by 830, tulog na kame ni arnold. at nagising kame, 12nn na, lunch na. after nun, tulog uli. hindi obvious na puyat kame no? hehe. naenjoy naman namin ang dagat kaya sulit din naman. :)

at dahil medyo nakabawi na kame ng tulog, sa daan pauwi, todo abang na kame sa mga tanawin. todo picture. kahit ano na lang makita sa daan. hehe. paglampas ng tagaytay, tulog na uli. :D
masaya kasi nakasama ko ang family ko. malungkot kasi, parang may kulang. o baka nga hindi kulang, baka sobra. sobrang daming iniisip na gagawin, sobrang daming responsibilities. pero hindi yun burden for me, i'm too blessed to be stressed. :)

at dahil somehow nagiging time for reflection ko rin ang mga byahe, may nagawa akong nonsense na senting ewan habang nasa bus pabalik ng manila. ano yun? eto:

dear

lately i've been thinking
i even have had sleepless nights
i wonder how
i wonder why

still i don't have answers
but i trust that someday i'll know
and until that one day comes
i'll be hanging, waiting, hoping...
and best of all,
still loving, enduring, growing.

how could you?
how could i?
how could we?

have you ever?
will you ever?

how can i?
why do i?
why can't i?
will i ever?

until when?
what else?
how much?

do you?
i do.

one word: sorry.
two words: thank you.
three words: i love/hate you (whichever you like).

diba nonsense? just as this blog post. nonsense.

parang ang lungkot ko no? sabi ni jb kanina, "ate, bakit parang wala ka sa mood?" hindi ko rin alam e. wala nga ba ako sa mood? hindi naman siguro.

let's just say na sa mga panahong ito, marami akong iniisip na mga bagay. mga bagay na dapat talagang pag-isipan. gaya ng, "ano kayang masarap na merienda?" hehe. joke lang. :D

marami lang talaga akong nakuhang input since friday. kaya naman nasa stage pa lang ako ng "digestion". at habang hindi pa naabsorb ng sistema ko lahat ng sustansiya ng mga pangyayaring yun, siguro nga, "wala muna ako sa mood".

pero hindi ko naman hahayaang madamay ang kung sino mang magbabasa nito sa "kawalan ko sa mood" (tama ba ang tagalog ko? hehe.). at sa totoo lang, hindi talaga dapat ito ang laman ng blog ko. i mean, hindi na dapat kasama yung mga kadramahang nauna ko ng natype. kaso lang, wala e, natype ko na. hehe.

bakit ba kasi ako nasa mood mag-blog? may gagawin pa akong final paper, at sobrang loaded ng week ko. pwede naman akong matulog na lang muna. o di kaya gumawa na ng mga dapat gawin. why blog?

wala. gusto ko lang. :D sabi ko nga kanina nasa process ako ng digestion. at alam kong malaking tulong ang magagawa ng pagsusulat ng thoughts para mas maintindihan ko ang mga bagay-bagay. :)

at isa sa mga gusto kong i-grasp ay ang homily ni Monsi kanina. (by the way, Palm Sunday po ngayon).

the most striking statement that he said is: accept the pain. go through it. because it is going through the pain that you go beyond it. sabi pa niya, nagiging painful lang daw ang mga bagay-bagay kasi we resist them. pero kung hahayaan natin ang mga sarili nating maramdaman yung sakit, in time, mawawala na rin yung pain. oo nga naman. hanggat hindi naten tinatanggap yung sakit, mananatili siyang sakit. if we'll just ignore it and act as if we're not hurting, lalo lang tayong mahihirapan. at yun nga, hindi naman mawawala yung sakit nun. maaari tayong maging manhid for a while, pero hindi magtatagal, kukulitin din tayo ng pain na hindi naten na-address. imagine if Jesus resisted suffering and death, ano na kayang nangyari? mahirap kung sa mahirap, at na-witness din naten yung agony Niya sa Garden of Gethsemane. kung Siya lang ang masusunod, ayaw Niya rin sana. pero sabi nga Niya, not His will, but the Father's be done. and even sa cross, He questioned God, "why have You abandoned me?". but it didn't end there. His last words were "Father, into Your hands, I commend/commit my Spirit." a clear profession of trust. just the same, we are challenged to endure and go through the pain, and trust that God will give us the strength to go beyond and claim victory over whatever suffering life has to offer. sakto yung blog title and desciption ko sa blogger, "sweet sorrows.. because pain is essential to maturity.." and yes, i am in pain. and i love it. because it keeps me alive. :D and for the nth time, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

so endure the pain. go through it. just a warning: don't let it kill you. don't go through it alone. vaya con Dios. go with God. :)

have a meaningful, prayerful, and fruitful Holy Week everyone! ^_^

P.S.
just one last. share ko lang din yung talk ni Tito Chito kagabi sa CLP. kahit na pagod galing Batangas, pumunta pa rin ako sa CLP, simply because God told me to do so. :)

Talk 4: Repentance and Faith

Repentance and faith go together. The Lord has done His part, we must do our share, that is, to repent and have faith.

Repentance must come with change (turning your back away from those things that are not pleasing to God and living a new life). Repentance is not based on feelings. It's a deliberate decision. Change not because of the consequences of our actions. We must hate sin itself and not just the consequence of it.

How to Repent?
1. Be honest. Admit that you have sinned.
2. Exercise humility.
3. Renounce sin.
4. Ask for God's forgiveness.

for me, yung most striking part ng talk ay yung story about a painter who made a portray of Jesus knocking on a door (based sa Revelations 3:20). during an exhibit, maraming nakapansin sa painting na yun. and from the crowd, someone commented that something was wrong with the painting. wala raw kasing doorknob yung pinto kung saan kumakatok si Jesus. so nag-usap-usap na yung mga tao, hanggang sa dumating yung painter. the people told him what they thought was wrong with his work. the painter explained, "there's nothing wrong with the painting. indeed, you can't see the doorknob, because it's on the other side. the door can only be opened from the inside."

true enough, Jesus cannot open the door of our hearts. all He can do is knock. He has done His part, it's time for us to do ours. let's open the door of our hearts and our lives, and let Him in.

again, a blessed Holy Week to everyone.

sorry, i've said too much again.

last na P.S. na talaga. hehe. nakita ko kasi 'tong message from marshee. can't help but share.. ewan, nakaka-relate kasi siguro ako..

"at the end of the day , you either focus on what's tearing you apart or what's holding you together."

end of the very long post. ^_^

untitled :D

When you say you're committed to someone, it doesn't necessarily mean you're in love with the person. Feelings are very short-lived. You may be in love with the person now, but sometimes, you end up hating him/her. Commitment is not all about mere feelings. It's about the need to be with the person, a need that says: "No matter how bad the weather might become, I'm willing to stay."
-->>for me, love is commitment. and commitment is love. and didn't i say "LOVE IS A DECISION, and not just a feeling?" :)

Just some quotes na nakita ko sa Drafts folder ng dating phone ni Arnold. :)

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Tears of the Sun

"Fate doesn't decide everything." -Hancock

"Life is not the amount of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away." -Hitch

"Humans have the power to heal themselves. The answer is the brain." -Serum

"They say the best conversation you'll ever have is with a stranger." -Bateman (Jason Statham), London

"I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you." -LOTR, Return of the King

-->>buti pa yung kapatid ko, ang dami ng napanood na movies. waah. talo pa ako. hehe. oh well.

at eto, from Shy's site.. :D

"Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Rather, it's a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan." -Serendipity

and because i haven't seen the movie yet and i've been wanting to see it, i decided to watch it online :D (thanks to him for sharing this site to me: http://ineedpopcorn.com)

oh by the way, here's another tagline, apart from "Destiny.. With A Sense of Humor" and "Can Once In A Lifetime Happen Twice?", for Serendipity, which i found in The Internet Movie Database (IMDB): "When Love Feels Like Magic, It's called Destiny. When Destiny Has A Sense of Humor, It's Called Serendipity."

magandang hapon! ^_^

i cried.. so what? :D

i am happy to tell you that after a long time, i cried again. haha. oh yes, i cried last night, i mean on tuesday night (march 31). and you know what? it feels really really good. :D haha. nababaliw na ba ako? bakit ba ako natutuwa? hindi naman tears of joy yun? wala lang. matagal na rin kasi akong hindi umiiyak. nakakamiss lang. haha. besides, heart-to-heart talk kasi talaga yun with God. so malamang, di ko talaga mapipigilan yung luha. ayun. wala naman akong balak ikwento pa kung anong dahilan ng pag-iyak ko. pero ang mahalaga, napatunayan kong tao pa pala ako - may puso't damdamin. marunong masaktan. haha. drama. joke lang. :D pero seryoso, at least nalaman ko sa sarili ko na hindi naman pala ako manhid. :p at masaya talaga ako. in fact, after ko ngang umiyak, mega picture na uli ako e. haha. at in fairness, hindi naman halatang umiyak pala ako. :))

ang blog post na ito ay isang pag-alala. shocks, maalaala mo kaya? haha. i told a joke! :D (naalala ko lang si achmed, the dead terrorist. :D silence, i kill you! haha. cute talaga nun. :D)

seriously, gusto ko lang alalahanin yung 1st three months ng taon ko. ^_^

i would say it's a roller-coaster ride. daming ups and downs, curves and bends.. pero i definitely enjoyed the ride! oh yes!

at sobrang thankful ako sa lahat ng taong naging bahagi ng first three months ng 2009 ko. ^_^

why would i wait for dec 31 bago pa mag-thank you sa mga taong naging part ng buhay ko when i can do it now?! diba? :D

kaya eto na ang mga gusto kong pasalamatan (so far.. :D)

1. ang mahal kong pamilya - kelangan pa bang imemorize yan? hehe. sobrang mahal ko sila. kahit pa lagi akong wala sa bahay at hindi na masyadong nakakatulong. huhu. sorry na. ganun talaga pag artista ang isang miyembro ng pamilya, maraming commitments. hehe. nagkaroon nga ng time na lagi nila akong kasama, may sakit naman ako nun. tsk. pero salamat salamat sa walang sawang suporta at pag-unawa. :)

2. friends - naman! sino-sino nga ba kayo? haha. alam niyo na kung sino kayo. hindi ko na kayo iisa-isahin pa. :D alam ko maraming maraming marami akong pagkukulang sa inyo. kasi as usual, busy ako. hehe. pero alam niyo namang kahit hindi niyo ako maasahan sa good times, during bad times, definitely kakampi at karamay niyo ako. i love you guys! makakabawi rin ako sa inyo. :)

3. SFC/GK (SAGIP) - lalo na yung chapter namin. at lalo na yung music min. at syempre, makakalimutan ko ba yung SFC Choral Manila? :) words are not enough. basta alam niyong buhay ko ang SFC lalo na ang pagkanta at pag-aalaga ng mga makukulit pero masasayang kasamang mga bata. :)

4. long-lost friends - oh yeah! i'm super happy na na-contact, nakita, nakasama, naka-message sa friendster o sa multiply, naka-text, o kung ano pa man. hehe. basta salamat. i hope to stay in contact with you. :) (at dahil konti lang kayo, special mention na kayo. hehe: dan, fred, nap, kareen, rianna, analyn, AT RIZ STEPHANIE! - girl, i so miss you! lalo na pag nagkakasabay tayo sa jeep dati. kwentuhan to the max. haha. i hope to see you soon!)

5. ACL family - ang mga karamay ko sa thesis. oh yes, pamilya ko na rin sila. :) salamat sa walang sawang pagtuturo at pag-alalay lalo na kay sir henry at ate jas. patience is their virtue. :)

may nakalimutan pa ba ako? hmmm. yung iba, secret na e. patago lang kasi. haha. hay nako. kasi naman, bakit ba may mga over-selosong boyfriends? haha. peace sis. :D hindi ko tuloy mabanggit yung name mo, fine, si Tin na nga lang! haha. Tin, thank you ng marami dahil sa wakas natuloy din ang ating date. next time, date uli tayo. at sana sis, makatakas ka uli para makasama ka uli namin! :D

nakakatuwa lang. ang dami na rin palang nangyari sa nakalipas na 3 buwan. at ang dami ko na ring napuntahan. yahoo! :D

i'm looking forward to more exciting adventures sa mga susunod pang mga araw. 3 months pa lang ang nagdaan, may 9 pa. at alam ko, marami pang mangyayari. :)

to end this post, i would like to share the results of the quizzes i took in facebook. haha. na-enjoy ko naman ang quizzes dun. ang galing tsumamba e. hehe.

game, eto na. :D hindi na ako maglalagay ng reactions pero for those who know me well, alam kong alam niyo na kung anong reaction ko. hehe. :D

What does your birthday say about you?
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

What Musical Are You? Phantom of the Opera
You love a classic, timeless, llifestyle. You appreciate the arts and the rarity of true love. When it comes along you embrace it full force and never look back, though on occasion you find yourself torn between two great loves. You are somewhat timid, but more talented than you know. You sometimes dwell on the past but all you ask is to be loved.. ->>love me, that's all i ask of you.. haha.. kumanta pa talaga. :D

What were you born to do? Doctor/Nurse
You are kind and patient. Born to help people.

What's your name meaning?
your name's got a deep meaning and reveals an hypnotic personality! -->> ano daw? hypnotic personality? ano yun?! haha. :D nakaka-hypnotize ako? parang hindi naman. hehe.

Which Grease Character are you? Olivia Newton John (Sandy)
you are a quiet, shy girl who concentrates more on her studies than social life. you make friends easily but have a nervous disposition. you follow your parents' rules and always stick to curfews, you won't drink unless at a family party and smoking is out of the question. you wear sensible clothing and you are well spoken. you are attractive and have the most beautiful hair! all your friends like you and support you with anything, and you return the favor. you also have a dark side waiting to be released, all you have to do is pick one and say...YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT..to be..

Who were you in a past life? Queen Elizabeth I.
In your past life you were Queen Elizabeth I. In this life you continue to have strong relationships with friends, have a conservative disposition, use your sexuality to gain power, and are careful to not take sides.. -->>yeba! i was, still am, and will always be a royalty. :D


What Element are you? Water
You are cool and quiet, but this does not mean that you don't you loud moments. You are a spiritual person and you are sensitive to the feelings of the people around you. You are rather well rounded and are some where in between introvert and extrovert. You occasionally have your dark moments in which you become reclusive and think things over.

What is your theme song? Somewhere over the rainbow
You are sweet, innocent, daydream frequently, and like to wear sparkly shoes. When asked where you prefer to be on Friday nights, your response? There's no place like home... well, at least not on THIS side of the rainbow.




Which Fairy Are you? Air Fairy
The Air Fairy is teeming with creative energy. She loves all art, music, stories, imaginion, anything that helps her escape her own boring reality. She pours all her emotion into what she does, which makes her an extraordinary artist. Her natural exhuberance gains her many friends, but she likes being by herself doing what she does best, dreaming! She's friendly, but sometimes seems distant and often loses herself (or others) in her thoughts. She might seem eccentric, but it's just her being herself, which is what everyone should do! -->> oh yeah! i so agree. :D





ang dami no? hehe. o siya, tulog na ako. umaga na pala. :D marami pang gagawin bukas, i mean mamaya. :D

magandang araw mga kaibigan! ^_^

the greatest love that anyone could ever know..

..that overcame the cross and grave to find my soul..

this is one of my favorite songs.. it's simply moving..

and what about that song? nothing special. it's just that now more than ever, i feel that crazy little thing called LOVE.. but it's not just love.. it's a very special love, the perfect one.

one of the tasks i've written in my "to-do list" for today is blogging. i even wrote down the things i want to share.. but as jireh said in one of his blogs, and i quote: "It's amazing how inspirations or motivations come at us all of a sudden. Without warning, without even a hint that it's coming. And you are glad it's that way because you wouldn't have had it any other way. It's like a nice surprise present."

indeed, today i was inspired to write something about LOVE. i know it's the first of April, and it's definitely not the "love month" but that's what my heart tells me to write about.. and i trust my heart. :)

the inspiration actually came from shy's blog (Paano Ba Ako Magmahal? =)), particularly the Bridgemaster video from YouTube. (thanks for sharing sis!)

i've been wanting to blog about last Sunday's homily (the grain of wheat) but i just couldn't find enough inspiration to do so.. until i came across that Bridgemaster video.

it is only now, just now, that i am able to organize my thoughts.

and here's that powerful message.. the message of LOVE..

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have everlasting life." - who can ever forget that famous verse (John 3:16)?

2 Sundays ago, Father Hernan, in his homily, asked us, "if we weren't sinners, do you think God would still send His Son?"

what do you think? yes, still? not anymore? maybe?

the answer is YES. because God sent Jesus because of His LOVE for us. to save us from our sins is just a consequence of that love, therefore, a secondary reason.

and how is it connected to last Sunday's homily? simply this: God showed His love for us through His Son's sacrifice.. how we respond to that sacrifice, is our way of showing how we love God.

the essence of last Sunday's Gospel is found in this verse: "Amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit." (John 12:24)

Jesus came to die, not to live. just as He did, we are called to live a life of sacrifice. the proper response to The Son's sacrifice is also a sacrifice. let me explain further. :)

in the Bridgemaster video, the father sacrificed his son to save the lives of the passengers. a certain lady, an addict, witnessed how deeply hurt the father was. and that made her think of the life she leads. in the end, she chose to make the sacrifice of change (i strongly believe that to change for the better is one big sacrifice, a very challenging one). and when that father (who lost his son) saw that lady again, carrying her son, he smiled for he knew his son's life was indeed able to save a lost soul.

i believe that is also also how God feels every time a sinner repents and finally seeks devotion. and i guess that's all He ever wanted.

Father Babes made his point clear during his homily last Sunday: "LET OTHERS BENEFIT FROM YOUR SACRIFICE." Jesus sacrificed His life so that we may benefit from His death; He's the grain of wheat which fell to the ground, died, and produced lot of fruits - changed lives, healed wounds, blessed minds, purified hearts. ^_^

just like the grain of wheat, let not our lives be just a matter of existence and death, let it be a LIFE THAT MATTERS, A LIFE WELL LIVED, A LIFE OF SACRIFICE FOR OTHERS. i remember this: "it's not how long you lived, but HOW WELL you lived." do we live for ourselves? or do we live for others and for God?

again, God so loved us that He sent His Son not to live, but to die for us. as a response to that love and sacrifice, let's not just live for ourselves, instead, let us live to die for others. i think that's the best way to show our love for the Father. ^_^

just a random thought.. something to think about.. ^_^ in the Lord's Prayer, the word "love" was never mentioned. they say that it's because the greatest expression of love is forgiveness. ^_^

that's all. let LOVE rule! ^_^

I will live to LOVE YOU.
I will live to bring YOU praise.
I will live a child in awe of YOU.
(Til I See You, Hillsong United)