deadliest deadline..

around two hours before the deadliest deadline

it's 9:50 already.. and i'm already desperate.. i texted my daughters.. i miss them already.. i wanted to text him, but how? wala syang phone.. and that made me even desperate..

i have to finish and submit the machine problem before midnight and as of this moment, i'm far from getting done.. i can't move on.. i have three subroutines and one main function, and i don't know what to do next.. this is crucial.. if i won't make it tonight, it's a sure fail.. and i'm torn.. one part of me says, 'give up! you have another semester', and another part says 'keep trying'.. ok, i'll try..

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30 minutes before the deadliest deadline

11:30pm.. i'm still going nowhere.. suko na ba ako? sabi ng mga anak ko, wala raw sa lahi namin ang sumusuko.. yes, we're strong.. pero alam ko kung hanggang saan lang ang kaya ko.. and this time, hindi ko na ata kaya.. kahit anong pilit ko, mukhang wala na talaga akong magagawa.. and ayoko mang sabihin 'to pero suko na ako.. =(

i'm sure may good side din naman 'to.. i'll have more time to focus on my other subjects.. lalo na sa thesis.. hay.. cge lang aiza, convince yourself that you did the right thing.. believe that everything has a reason and that God has a better plan..

bago pala ako matulog at tumakas sa problemang 'to, gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa mga taong naniwalang kaya ko 'to.. kuya don, kuya tirso, melai, at velle.. pasensya na kung sumuko ako.. alam ko maiintindihan niyo.. salamat sa words of encouragement.. thanks for believing in me..

to jen, joebet, and dj, thanks for the help..

oo, suko na ako.. pero eto na ang huling pagkakataong susuko ako..

hindi ko lang talaga kinaya ngayon.. wala kasi akong lakas.. pa'no, paalam na muna..

punta muna ako sa mundong walang problema.. sa neverland.. kung saan lahat ng panaginip ko natutupad.. tulog muna ako.. [sa wakas, matutulog ako ng gabi pa..lagi na lang kasing madaling araw ang tulog ko e]

God bless everyone!