isang araw..

whew! what a day! mahaba pa ang araw at marami pang pwedeng mangyari.. pero at least i have one reason to be happy.. sa wakas nakasama ko uli sina dan at binoy.. grabe, sobrang na-miss ko yung mga mokong na yun.. hay.. buti na lang sumakto ang mga bakanteng oras namin kaya nakapagkita kame at nagkasabay pa maglunch [kasama si jenny]..

nga pala, nakakawindang ang umaga ko kanina.. i witnessed an accident and mind you, sobrang apektado talaga ako.. nabangga yung isang estudyante na pasahero ng jeep na sinasakyan ko.. pagbaba niya, tumawid siya agad.. hindi na siguro kinaya ng preno ng owner kaya tinamaan siya.. ang lakas ng impact kasi tumama yung ulo ng guy sa semento e.. talagang plakda siya.. at yung owner, napunta sa kabilang lane.. buti na lang walang kasalubong na sasakyan kaya walang ibang nadamay.. dala na rin siguro ng pag-iwas niya yun.. pero worried talaga ako sa estudyante.. buti na lang may mga dumating na kaminero para buhatin siya.. medyo comedy pa nga kasi sabi niya ok lang daw siya.. kaya pa raw niya pumasok.. halller?? hindi na nga siya halos makabangon e.. and that made me realize, pag tga-UP talaga, matapang.. kahit hindi na makalakad, pipiliin pa ring pumasok.. hay.. naalala ko tuloy yung interview ko dati sa enggsoc.. tinanong nila ako kung papasok pa rin daw ako kahit may sakit ako.. sagot ko oo hangga't kaya ko.. yan ang dugong peyups, di sumusuko.. haha.. parang nung isang araw ko lang sinabing suko na ako.. hay..

hanggang sa muli.. marami pa akong gustong idaldal pero masyadong personal e.. basta pasama na lang ako sa prayers niyo.. maraming salamat.. at don't worry, ayos lang ako.. stressed ako, oo pero nakakangiti pa rin.. God loves me and that is enough reason to keep me going..

God bless everyone! =)

one word: sad

(on being a PPCRV/NAMFREL volunteer and some other stuffs..)

i volunteered as a PPCRV/NAMFREL pollwatcher for the 2007 national and local elections. i wanted to be really involved in this crucial event. i know how important the elections are and i never want to simply vote, i want to be part of the counting as well.

i expected things to be hard.. and yes, they are..

i woke up at 530 in the morning and prepared myself for a long tiring day, i know it's going to be a tough job but i guess i'm ready for it. in fact, i was excited.

i don't need to give a detailed account of what happened during the day.. i just have to say a few things..

i came to realize the following:

it's hard to be a volunteer. aside from the fact that we don't get anything but 'thank you', we also have to wait for hours before we could eat our sponsored meals. good thing i live near the polling place so i was able to go home and get some 'panawid-gutom' food while waiting for our lunch. but i'm fine with it. let's say i've expected it already. i don't really have a problem with that.

yes, we were tired.. who wouldn't be? but physical stress is much better than mental and emotional stress and i prefer it over the other two..

you might be wondering where this post is headed.. i'm sorry, i can't seem to find a good way of putting things together, of keeping my thoughts organized. i don't know where to start and where should i end..

this could be the effect of the three consecutive days that i've forgotten the meaning of 'sleep'.. my mind is thinking a lot but the words aren't coming out right.

but still, let me try..

i really don't have that much to say.. i'm just a bit disappointed with the outcome of the local election. and i'm talking of Pasig alone.

forgive me if i may sound a bit emotional, let's just say that i am among the few concerned citizens.. i mean, those who are TRULY concerned.

i'm not a loyalist of whoever but i am a lover of development, real action, pure service, and genuine care.

i respect the opinion of others and i don't have any negative intention in writing this blog entry.

i'm just worried. what will happen to the country if people would vote just for the sake of voting?

unfortunately, i can't say that those who participated in yesterday's elections were responsible..

sorry but i mean it.

when people are asked why did they vote for that candidate, they would say 'for a change'. when asked what changes are needed, they would say 'a lot' but they can't even say just one concrete answer.

my point here is that, why vote when you don't even know why you're voting?

nakakalungkot isiping hindi man lang maipagtanggol ng tao ang desisyon nya, well, that's if decision niya talaga yun at hindi dulot lang ng impluwensya ng ibang tao.

ask me why i voted for him.. and i'll ask you 'why not?'

as a Pasigueño, i am a witness to the many struggles of this city.. and i have seen how, through their initiative, this town has progressed through the years..

dito ako lumaki, dito ako nag-aral, at ngayon dito rin ako nagtatrabaho. salamat sa pinagandang ortigas center, kung saan matatagpuan ang chikka at ang iba pang malalaking IT companies.

i can't stop the tears from falling.. i know they're falling because i am hurting.. i am really disappointed.

i've never been this affected with the results of the elections.
maybe because i'm a first time voter and i've witnessed how people took for granted what seemed so important to me..

i kept on asking 'why'..

ano pa bang kulang ha? anong pagbabago ang gusto niyo?
hindi ba kayo kuntento sa kung anong meron tayo ngayon?
oo, kurakot sila.. pero sino bang hindi?

what is important is that you give to the people the services that they need.. hindi ba nangyayari yun sa pasig? siguro nga may pagkukulang sa pasig city general hospital, pero hindi dahil hindi ka naasikaso ng nurse at doctor dun e magagalit ka na sa mayor o sa vice-mayor o sa kung sino mang tao..

they don't deserve the blame. hindi naman nila hawak ang isip ng mga empleyado nila. and mind you, every hospital has its own admin.. wag nyong isisi lahat sa local government..

i don't want to sound like pinagtatanggol ko sila.. pero kasi naranasan ko rin naman yun..

i was rushed to the pasig city general hospital because my tummy hurts like hell.. when we got there, i started to vomit.. at sabi nga ni mama, namumutla na raw ako.. sobrang weak na ako nung time na 'yun..

pero yung nurse na tumingin sken, wala pa ring ginagawa aside from getting some useless information about me.. she even said that i might be pregnant which really made my father mad..

imagine that: a father seeing her daughter suffer because of ulcer and you would tell him about the possibility of the girl being pregnant? and i was just 19 then..

my father was so furious.. muntik na niyang masuntok yung nurse, babae pa man din..

they decided to transfer me to a private mini-hospital where i was confined for two days..

that incident was more than enough reason for us to hate the admin of that hospital but it didn't mean we have to hate the city council as well..

it's not their fault.. you could say that they must have hired better people, but c'mon, even the best companies have not that competitive employees.. i mean, it's normal.. sa family nga lang, may tinatawag na black sheep di ba? it's the same thing..

but the thing is, man by nature, as they say (but i don't agree), easily forgets your 10 good deeds the moment you've done at least 1 negative action, no matter how simple or how serious that action is.. and another thing, people believe allegations most of the time.. they are never fair..

bakit nga ba ganun daw ang tao? does that mean hindi ako tao?

good heavens naman! why judge someone because of one wrong move or worse, one bad allegation?

'for a change..'
err, hindi ko na alam kung ano pang sasabihin ko para lang ipaintindi sa tao na hindi lahat ng bago ay maganda at hindi lahat ng luma ay bulok na..

corrupt daw.. pero ano na bang nagagawa niya? kaya nyo pa bang bilangin kung ilang schools na ang naipatayo? ilang magulang at estudyante na ang natulungan?

here i go again.. hindi ko talaga mapigilang mapaiyak.. nahihiya ako sa nagiging takbo ng bilangan.. sa mga lumalabas na partial results..

is this what he deserves? i don't think so..

err, i can't continue anymore.. i'm getting too emotional.. baka makita na ako ng boss ko na umiiyak..

hindi pa tapos ang bilangan.. the battle's not over yet pero sa lahat ng bumoto sa taong nangangako ng pagbabago, sana lang hindi kayo nagkamali sa decision niyo..

parang relationship yun e.. sawa ka na sa partner mo kasi you've been together for so long already.. alam mo na lahat sa kanya, wala na kayong maitatago sa isa't isa.. and then someone comes.. he/she promises to add flavor to your life.. dahil sa bored ka na, papatulan mo naman, iiwanan ang dati mong partner para itry kung anong pwedeng ioffer ng bagong kakilala.. kaso lang, short time happiness and satisfaction lang pala talaga ang gusto niya at kaya niyang ibigay.. pa'no na? hanap uli ng iba?

the problem with us is this: we are never contented.. we always ask for more..

i'm still hopeful na mananalo kung sino yung dapat..
marami pa akong gustong sabihin but my heart can longer stand the pain..

i'm afraid i have to end it here..

i have to heal myself first..

killing time

i still don't have work to do because my 'nanay' here in chikka is in vigan.

but i have to stay here until 5pm or else i won't get my allowance for today..

killing time.. that's exactly what i'm doing right now..

i'm reading almost every recent post in the friendster bulletin board.. and i find these three the most interesting ones..

POST #1: 10 Uri ng Manliligaw

what i have to say:

i prefer none of the above.. hehe.. bulok lahat eh.. haha.. pero may kilala akong #9.. kaso lang di rin effective eh.. yung #10 naman, pwede na rin.. basta ba hindi chocnut yung chocolate eh.. tsaka, san ang karugtong nun? pano nya napapakilig yung nililigawan nya?

1. Mr. Gwapings
>> mayaman, gwapo, kilala, at higit sa
lahat may wheels. mataas ang
confidence nya na hindi sya
mababasted, kaya pag nabasted...
maapektuhan ng husto ang kanyang EGO.
at teyk note, malas mo kung may sour
grape attitude pa yan. pwede nyang
sabihing "sus kala mo kung sinong
maganda e pinagtyatyagaan ko lang
naman sya! pwe!"

2. Mr. Quickie
>> ang type ng manliligaw na kada
magkikita kayo e wala nang alam na
sabihin kundi "kelan mo ba ako
sasagutin?" o kaya "i love you na, ako
ba hindi mo pa lab?" kahit na isang
linggo pa lang naman syang pumoporma.
kung baga dinadaan nya sa pangungulit
para mabilis ang pagsagot mo.

3. Mr. Everything
>> linya nya ang "sagutin mo lang ako,
ibibigay ko sayo lahat, lahat ng
magustuhan mo. kahit ang pa buwan o
kaya mundo." !@#$ ka na pag nagpauto
ka. dahil pag sinagot mo na yan,
makakalimutan na nya ang linyang yan.

4. Mr. Stalker
>> eto yung type ng manliligaw na pag
nagkahiwalay kayo e sisimulan ka sa
tanong na "kumain ka na ba?"
pagkasagot mo susundan pa nya ulit ng
tanong "nsan ka ngayon?" "sinong
kasama mo?" "anong ginagawa mo?" at
kung anu- ano pa. basta tungkol sa
daily activities mo kelangan malaman
nya.

5. Mr. Take it or leave it
>> pag binasted mo ang ganitong type
ng manliligaw, asahan mo bukas may
nililigawan na sya ulit. at heto pa,
hinding hindi ka na nya papansinin.
period.

6. Mr. Salesman
>> dadaanin ka sa matatamis na salita.
parang si Mr. Everything din kaya lang
sya mas matindi mang-uto. yun bang
tipong.."ang ganda ganda talaga ng mga
mata mo.." o kaya "ang kinis kinis mo"
o kaya "ang lambot ng mga kamay mo" at
iba pang pang-uuto mapasagot ka lang.

7. Mr. Good Dog
>> eto ang nakakatuwang manliligaw.
kase payag syang magpaalipin. taga
bitbit ng bag mo o kahit ng mga
kaibigan mo. kahit magmuka syang
buntot sa tuwing may gala kayo ng mga
barkada mo. nagpapakitang gilas kung
baga. pero pag sinagot mo na, for sure
gaganti yan.

8. Mr. Anonymous
>> motto nya ang "action speaks louder
than voice". wala kang kaalam-alam,
nanliligaw na pala. kaya pala ang bait-
bait sayo. e akala mo mabait lang
talaga. hehe!

9. Mr. Second chance
>> sya ang pinakamasugid
mong manliligaw. kahit 100 tayms mong
sabihing ayaw mo sa kanya at wala na
syang pag-asa ang sasabihin nya
parin "Please give me a second chance"

10. Mr. Romantiko
>> jologs ang mga paraan nya sa
panliligaw. manghaharana,
pakikisamahan mga barkada mo,
liligawan parents mo at laging may
dalang flowers and chocolates tuwing
dadalaw. pero madalas nakakapagpakilig
sya ng nililigawan nya dahil sa


GUYS lam nio n b kung alin keo jan?..
GIRLS: which do you prefer?..

POST #2: This is Why Girls Cry

what i have to say:

i agree to everything.. and i would like to add, most girls also cry when they're overwhelmed.. i don't want to generalize but i believe it's not only me who cries out of extreme happiness.. happiness because someone appreciated my work, someone told me he/she loves me and i felt his/her sincerity, and/or someone cared for me so much and i was touched by his/her action..

this is a nice post except that the repost instructions are kind of exaggerated..

They Fell In Love With The Wrong Person

They're Mad

They're Sad

They're Scared

They're Nervous

They're Frustrated

They're Missing Someone

They're Alone

They Have To Let Him Go

They're PMSing

They're Pregnant

They're Tired Of Abusive Relationships

Their Heart Is broken

They're In Love

They Still Want To Be With That Special Person

Their Souls Have Been Torn

They Met Someone They Can't Have

They Feel Cheated

They Hurt So Bad Inside

They feel unloved

They Saw Him With Her

They Saw Him Kiss Her

They're Confused

It's Over


BOYS!!!: If any girl you know is
crying, and you see them, don't just
stand there like an ass and say you're
sorry, hold them, kiss them, and tell
them everything will be ok, even if
you have no idea what is wrong with
them. Girls go through more drama than
you can imagine! Girls just want to be
held and know that someone cares about
them.


Girls: Repost this if you're tired of
dealing with the drama, and you're
sick of putting up with the bullshit!

Boys: Repost if you're a loving,
caring, sensitive guy, who hates to
see a girl hurt like this and you hate
to see a girl cry!

Repost this in:

1 minute: You'll will find your true
love next week!!!

2 minutes: You'll find them in two
weeks!!!

3 mintutes: You'll find them in three
weeks!!!

4 minutes: You'll find your true love
when you're 90 years old

5 minutes: You took too damn long and
someone else got them!!

and re-post as "this is why girls cry"

POST #3: Number

what i have to say:

i answered 22, and yes, i am a pink power ranger simply because i'm a pink lover.. (pink as in the color pink, not the singer.. i like her though but not to that extent..) but those who know me well also know the real answers.. 10 is one of them.. the rest, ask me.. or ask them.. *wink*

Once you open this, You have ten
minutes to repost with the ONE number
that fits you best or you will be
single for the next five years.

00.... Ugly
0..... Married
1..... Single
2..... Heartbroken
3..... Single and loving it
4..... Want to tell someone you still like them
5..... Crushing
6..... Like someone you can never have AGAIN.??
7..... Taken
8..... Like someone
9..... Missing her/him
10.... Single but your heart is taken
11.... Like more than 1 person
12.... Taken by the best girl/guy ever
13.... Sick of getting hurt
14.... Confused
15.... Still like your ex
16.... Talkin to someone..
17.... Afraid 2 say I love you...
18.... I am just a pink power ranger
19.... Slightly mad at the opposite sex
20.... I'm a pirate
21.... Im a Ninja
22.... I'm a pathfinder

i can't think of a title for this one..

~*love someone and be happy about it, even if you know it cannot last forever. it's not about having someone nor about owning a relationship.. but it's about being happy because you're in love; there are purposes and meanings behind all events and these develop us, as a person and as a lover.. whatever relationship you have in your life now, is precisely the one you need at the moment.. don't pressure yourself with fear of losing someone.. instead, while you can, make the most out of what you have..*~

->one of those 'pasok sa banga' quotes, as chai calls them..

anyway, i'm glad that i've fixed whatever is needed to be fixed..
hindi ko pala talaga kaya.. ako rin ang naunang mag-sorry.. it's not true na kayang tiisin ng anak ang magulang.. depende siguro yun sa tao.. as for me, i love my parents that much that i can't afford to hurt them.. although hindi talaga maiwasan minsan.. good thing they understand..

i'm really blessed to have them as my parents.. kahit ano pang sabihin ng ibang tao, for me, they're still the best..

and now that we're ok again, as good as before, i feel relieved.. hindi talaga kasi ako mapalagay 'pag alam kong may hindi ako nalilinis na gusot.. lalo na kung involved ang parents ko..

God is good indeed! He constantly guides us to do what's right and what's good.. we just have to pray, ask for guidance, and seek the light..

have a good day everyone! God bless! =)

P.S. another good quote:

~*never let the things you want make you forget the things you already have..*~

lies vs. secrets (the title doesn't say much about the content)

kasalanan ang magsinungaling di ba?

kasalanan din ba ang paglilihim?

hindi naman pagsisinungaling yun kasi wala ka namang sinabi e..

pero pa'no kung nagtanong? tapos hindi mo sinabi yung totoo?

kasalanan na yun di ba? kasi somehow, nagsinungaling ka na rin..

and that's what i don't want to happen.. as much as possible, gagawin ko kung anong tama at kung anong dapat..

in other words, sinabi ko kung anong totoo..

and what did i get from not hiding the truth?

eto.. almost grounded na rin..

ayoko pa naman sa lahat yung maraming sinasabi.. and alam nila yun..

pero yung nangyari kagabi.. iba.. God knows kung ga'no kasama ang loob ko..

at sa inis ko nga, parang nasagot ko na rin siya e.. hindi naman kami nagsigawan, pero pakiramdam ko, kung ako yung nasa kalagayan niya, masasaktan ako sa mga sinabi ko..

pero hindi ko pa magawang mag-sorry.. kasi masama pa rin ang loob ko e..

i talked to God.. nagkulong kasi ako sa kwarto para mailabas yung hindi magandang nararamdaman ko..

hindi mawala sa isip ko yung isang bahagi ng pag-uusap namin...

"tingnan mo nga yang katawan mo.."

"nakikita ko, hindi ako bulag.."

"ano bang mangyayari kung hindi ka pupunta dun?

sinong kasama po pauwi? sino naman yun?

'yan ang hirap pag sobrang tiwala e

may pasok ka pa bukas.. anong oras na matatapos yun?"

"..sabihin mo na lang kung ayaw mo akong papuntahin.."

gusto ko siyang intindihin.. gusto lang niya akong protektahan..

pero hindi ko pa rin maunawaan e.. basta ang alam ko, gusto ko yung ginagawa ko.. wala na sken yung nangyari before.. besides, hindi naman ako sumali sa community para lang sa kanila (i'm talking about the members).. sumali ako kasi gusto ko.. more than anything else, si God ang primary reason ng pagsali ko..wala akong pakialam kung anong ginagawa ng mga kasama ko.. hindi rin mahalaga sa akin kung minsan nagkakaroon ng mga hindi magandang pangyayari..

masama ba ako?

hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa kayang mag-sorry..

mamaya siguro.. bahala na..

ngayon tuloy parang nag-iisip na akong maglihim na lang kung sakali mang may hindi na naman magandang nangyari.. hay..

buti na lang nakausap ko siya kagabi.. hindi ko man nasabi sa kanya yung nangyari, alam kong naramdaman niyang may pinoproblema ako.. siya nga ata yung sumalo ng pagka-badtrip ko e.. pero na-realize ko naman yun kaya bumawi ako agad.. unfair naman kung sa kanya ako magagalit.. wala naman siyang alam..

if not for him, my day would have ended badly.. super bad mood talaga.. pero today's a new day.. medyo sad pa rin ang mood ko kasi hindi pa kami ok.. pero sana maayos na..

magtatrabaho muna ako.. habang pinag-iisipan ang ilang bagay..

sabi ni Bob Ong, "hindi dahil sa hindi mo naiintindihan ang isang bagay ay kasinungalingan ito.. at hindi lahat ng kaya mong intindihin ay katotohanan.."

one week isn't enough for a vacation..

.. I wanted to have a break for a little longer but at the same time, I'm also getting a bit bored doing nothing.. I still have three days to relax (?) and feel the summer heat.. yes, I can feel the heat.. and it's burning me..

hmm.. how long have I been silent? According to my files, the last time I wrote a blog entry was on April 11, Wednesday.. well, I’ll start from where I ended..

April 11, Wednesday:
I went to the Chikka office for the orientation regarding my internship (which would start on Monday, April 23). I believe I went online after that.. Anyway, the orientation was fine. I was able to meet the other interns and I was glad that Angel was there. She’s also from UP.. there are four of us in the group under Sir Victor, and the other two are from DLSU.. we just signed some papers, and Ms. Mia, briefed us with what we’re supposed to do during our internship. We also talked about our schedules and settled other issues..

April 12, Thursday:
We had our music min practice.. and the only bad thing about it was the invasion of my greatest enemies – mosquitoes..

April 13, the dreaded Friday the 13th:
I went to school to register for the summer classes. Our practicum isn’t required; it’s an elective so we have to enroll so we can get the credits from it.. there were some ‘nice’ things that happened on my way to UP.. ask kuya ian/tweet2 if you want to know what those things were.. =) however, while there were wonderful things coming my way, there were also some bad news waiting for my arrival.. I didn’t find my name in the eligibility list, which makes me ineligible to enroll.. “good heavens”, I thought.. the reason stated was “did not satisfy contract” which was a big mistake because I know for a fact that I did.. but of course, words aren’t enough.. what they need were documents to prove that I have satisfied what was written on the contract.. good thing I bought my completion form and some of my class cards.. but, there’s still a problem, one of my instructors haven’t submitted the class cards yet.. hmm.. do I need to go into details? It’s quite long.. again, ask tweet2 for more info.. ask alpha for she was with me for the longest time.. by the way, that girl had also her share of struggles.. and so I asked her if she wanted to go with me to Quiapo.. for some reason, Quiapo has been my sanctuary during the frustrating, difficult, and trying times like these.. we hoped to attend the mass but we were too late so we stayed at the adoration chapel instead.. there, we breathed out everything.. all the frustrations, depressions and whatever “-ions” we had.. as I expected, I felt a lot better after crying my heart out.. and I believe alpha felt the same.. =) it was a tiring day.. and when I got home, I can’t do anything but lie down and sleep..

Oops, I forgot to say: I’ve been worried about Friday the 13th since my grandfather died (April 13, 2001).. but I guess things have changed and now, I’m no longer afraid of Friday the 13th..

April 14, Saturday:
I had my “girl thing” and I was bedridden.. I must say that it was among the most uncomfortable days I’ve ever had.. I suffered from ulcer and dysmenorrhea.. you could guess that I was really having a hard time..

April 15, Sunday:
Again, I stayed in bed all throughout the day.. I wasn’t able to attend the mass and to serve as part of the choir.. =(

I spent time watching “blaze of glory” and I had an instant crush on JC Chavez Jr. he’s everything I want.. haha! “he has the looks of an actor but the punch of a killer” as commented by Quinito Henson and Chino Trinidad.. he hasn’t lost any game and out of his 31 wins, 24 were by TKO.. he’s really admirable!

April 16, Monday:
I went to school again to go on with my enrollment (after getting the required documents from Ms. Mia of Chikka) and through God’s grace, I was able to finish the registration.. binoy was with me and we really had a great time together.. we ate ice cream and stayed at the track oval while waiting for chai.. there, we talked about almost everything under the sun, love stuffs in particular.. when chai arrived, we ordered halo-halo from LKB and bonded again at the track oval..

Sarap talaga ng feeling na kasama ang barkada.. and although there were only three of us, we were still able to enjoy each other’s company.. =)

April 17 & 18 (Tuesday and Wednesday):
I did nothing aside from house chores and reading the PDL..

April 19, Thursday:
Some bad things really annoyed me.. kuya ian knows that.. but my day ended beautifully as I was able to spend the night with my brothers and sisters in the community.. after the music min practice, we went to kuya tirso’s house and ate the usual meal – pansit.. at syempre kasama na ang kwentuhan dun.. =)

Tagal ko na rin palang nawala sa service.. well, sabi nila.. kung sa bagay, na-miss ko na rin sila.. hmm.. excited na ako sa outing.. sana talaga makasama ang karamihan lalo na si kuya ian, ang aking paboritong kuya.. =)

April 20, Friday:
I just finished writing about what had happened during the previous week.. and this time, text messages na naman ang idadaldal ko..

I have 17 messages in my inbox and 14 of those are quotes about life, love, and some other things.. I find every quote worthy to be mentioned so here they go:

*it’s better to have nobody than somebody who is half yours, half there or doesn’t want to be there, or is there and then suddenly disappears*
>>get’s nyo ba? Honestly, I’m not sure if I agree to it.. parang oo na parang hindi eh..

*when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown.. but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap the idiot on the face*
>>now, this one made me smile.. but I don’t think I’ll do that.. I’m not really that kind.. when someone annoys me, I usually lock myself up in a room, and cry my heart out while talking to my God.. in that case, hindi ako mapapa-away..

*GF: ihatid mo q
BF: wala aqong pera, inoperahan c lola, wala pang padala si dad
GF: ayaw mo? Hindi ka mka2score sken
BF: aba’y tingnan mo nga naman.. may naipit plng 200 sa wallet q*
>>ehem.. sino kayang natatamaan? Hehe..

*plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they did not slow down to enjoy it*
>>true!

*no one is born happy.. but all of us are born with the ability to create happiness*
>>true again!

*what if you don’t believe in love.. then someone teaches you how.. then you fall for him and you believed.. but.. what if he’s not supposed to love you.. only to teach you?*
>>ouch! That hurts.. hanggang dun lang ang comment ko..

*sometimes it’s not the tears that measure the pain, sometimes, it’s the smile*
>>agree!

*pag may mahal ka, be contented. Wag ka maghanap ng bagay na wala sa kanya.. wag mo sya icocompare sa iba.. kasi mas masarap magmahal nang kontento kahit di kumpleto, kesa kumpleto nga, di naman totoo*
>>sana marealize ‘to ng mga dapat maka-realize..

*if you want pain.. if you like tears..if you need sleepless nights.. and suffering.. find a friend.. and fall in love.. *
>>I don’t think so.. I don’t usually fall for a friend.. in fact, I haven’t done that yet.. I’ve fallen in love with just one person.. and he wasn’t my friend.. although we became the best of friends while we were together.. hindi ko lang talaga tipo yung ganun.. pag kaibigan, kaibigan lang.. and based sa experience ko, kadalasan, nagkakaroon ng lamat ang friendship once na nagsabi na yung guy na he has some other feelings for me.. alam ni binoy yun, di ba? *wink*

Here’s my own version of that quote: if you want pain.. if you like tears..if you need sleepless nights.. and suffering.. find an insensitive, selfish person.. and fall in love..

*the advantage of having a bad memory is that you can enjoy the same good things for the first time several times..*
>>hmm.. no comment..

And last but not the least, eto ang pinakamatindi..
*IF THE HEART IS ONE OF THE STRONGEST MUSCLES IN THE HUMAN BODY, THEN WHY IS IT SO EASY TO BREAK? =’(*
>>bakit nga kaya?

At para wakasan ang napakahabang post na ito, here’s something which inspired me.. I got this from kuya ian..

"from your view point, everything's a mess but from my view point, everything's perfect"
- God (Joan of Arcadia)


P.S. if you’ll notice some errors, whether typographical or grammatical, pagpasensyahan nyo na.. medyo nanlalabo na rin kasi ang paningin ko at pagod na ang mga mata ko para mag-proofread pa.. salamat sa pang-unawa.. God bless everyone! =)

Lenten reflections

lenten reflections

i felt hell during the past two weeks.. my semester ended just last wednesday (april 4) and it was only now that i could say that i've really had a break..

last wednesday i posted something about winning and losing in my blogs but i didn't give details.. i decided not to talk much about it.. not that i'm not over it yet but because i think there are better issues i should talk about.. nonetheless, i would include a bit about it here as i share some of the reflections that i had during the lenten season.

1. in life, you win some, you lose some..
>>i lost my first flash disk when i got hold of the penshoppe denimlab rockfest cd after buying a blouse, a shirt for my brother, and a bag..
>>last wednesday, Chikka Asia hired me as an intern but on the same day

well, i guess that's the way life goes.. God gives us enough victories to make us happy, and enough defeats to make us humble.. i realized that indeed, i've grown up as a person.. unlike before, i can now handle tough situations like i've mentioned above.. i no longer cry like a baby.. i've learned to let go and accept the things that have happened and would happen in the future..

sabi nga ni erap, weather weather lang yan.. kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol.. siguro hindi lang talaga para sken yung flash disk na yun.. anyway, napalitan ko naman sya eh.. ng mas malaking memory.. 512mb lang yung unang flash disk ko, ngayon, 1gb na.. at yung naging kapalit ng chikka, ok na rin yun.. hindi naman ganun kalaki ang epekto niya.. sana lang wala ng hingin pang ibang requirements yung chikka.. briefing namin sa wednesday and i hope they would no longer ask us to submit additional documents..

2. loving isn't easy..
>>hindi totoo na masarap magmahal.. dahil ang pagmamahal ay may katumbas na sakit at hirap..

my brother and i participated in this year's penitential walk to antipolo.. we've been doing it for 3 years now and this year, nathan walked with us.. first time naming naglakad na walang pahinga.. sa tikling lang kami tumigil para kumain at magpahinga.. after regaining our strength, naglakad na uli kami hanggang sa 14th station of the cross..

i got my second reflection from the reflection in one of the stations na dinaanan namin..

sabi raw ng mga romantiko, masarap magmahal.. but we must be aware that loving also requires getting hurt.. yes, requirement talagang masaktan ka.. sabi nga dun sa reflection, kung madali lang daw para sa atin ang magmahal, baka raw hindi talaga tayo nagmamahal.. bakit hindi nga naman natin subukang mahalin ang mga taong hindi tayo kayang mahalin, mga taong hindi tayo pinapansin, mga taong walang pakialam at walang pagpapahalaga sa atin.. mahirap di ba? but that's the true measure of love.. loving the unlovable, loving without conditions..

sabi sa isang text message na natanggap ko from a friend.. loving unconditionally enables you to say "i love you but you don't have to love me back, i'll be fine."

ang sakit, ang hirap, pero ganun talaga eh..

"if loving means being loved, then i'm not loving enough.. if loving means being special, then i barely love.. but if loving means getting hurt, i guess i'm loving too much"

yes, indeed i'm loving too much.. and i'm fine with that.. at least i know what true love means.. and that makes me different from some people i know who don't take love seriously.. who are afraid of commitment..

there's this guy who told his ex that he still loves her.. the girl wants him back and is willing to "start all over again" but the guy said that he's fine with what they both have.. friendship to the next level.. sort of an open relationship.. he's not ready for a commitment yet.. but is love not enough to keep a commitment?

sad but true, the word "love" is already overused.. people say "i love you" frequently but they're not saying it from the heart.. and if they do, they don't really mean it because they don't understand what love is..

buti na lang hindi ako kabilang sa kanila..

mahirap magmahal lalo na ng taong hindi kayang suklian yung pagmamahal na binibigay mo.. gaya na lang ni Hesus.. minahal niya tayo, he suffered and died for us.. but are we loving Him well?

the following are among the questions Monsi has imposed during his homily last thursday:
*ano ang estado natin sa buhay para mahalin at patawarin tayo ng Diyos?
*ano ang estado natin sa buhay para pagkalooban tayo ng mga biyaya?
*anong ginagawa natin para mapasalamatan ang Panginoon sa lahat ng ginawa at binigay niya despite our unworthiness?

for the last part, i would like to share these beautiful text messages i have received during the Holy Week..

>>in the end what would matter is not what you bought but what you built; not what you got but what you gave; not your success but your significance; not what you learned but what you taught; not your competence but your character; not how long you will be remembered but by whom and for what. CHOOSE TO LIVE A LIFE THAT MATTERS.<<

>>there was a man who saw a scorpion almost drowning in water. he decided to save it by stretching out his finger, but the scorpion stung him. the man still tried, but the scorpion stung him again. another man nearby told him to stop saving the scorpion. but the man said: "it's the nature of the scorpion to sting. it's my nature to love. why should i give up my nature to love just because it's the nature of the scorpion to sting?" DON'T GIVE UP CARING, DON'T GIVE UP LOVING,DON'T GIVE UP YOUR GOODNESS, EVEN WHEN EVERYONE AROUND YOU STINGS.<<

>>why did God make the world round? so that no matter how small or insignificant you think you are, wherever you stand on it, you're still on top of the world.<<

>>in God's eyes love is always present. in God's heart forgiveness is always there. in God's embrace no one is ever alone.<<

>>He had no servants, yet they called Him Master. No college degree, yet they called Him Teacher. No medicines, yet they called Him Healer. No army, yet kings feared Him. He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world. He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him. He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today. Feel honored to serve such a Leader.<<

i hope we all had a meaningful Lenten season..

God bless everyone! =)

what the hell is happening?

i can't do anything.. everytime i try to sign in (friendster, yahoo mail, facebox, etc), firefox crashes.. what's wrong with my accounts? are they all corrupted? i hope this one gets published..

what am i suppose to say here? i guess i'll just share the highlights of my week.. i spent almost the whole of my tuesday with him and his family. it was his father's birthday and i had a really nice time with them..

its just sad that vincci didn't show up and the tweet2 people were so disappointed.. well, who wouldn't be? we were so excited to see him again after such a long time but he failed us..

yesterday was not a happy day.. it was full of stress and tension.. i studied for the exam but it didn't seem enough.. i guess my brain's gotten cold as well that's why it didn't function as much as it supposed to..

today, i'm still not feeling lucky.. i guess i have to hope for a better week next week.. and in the weeks to come.. by the way, today's my freedom day! freedom from the stressful tutorials.. finally, i own my time.. and i think it's great.. i'll have more time for my studies now and i better use that time wisely.