i have a 'soft' inner self

..according to quizilla.com

Your inner self is soft underneath. You might not realize it but sometimes, it takes over. You tend to get hurt easily & quickly but shake it off just as quick as it came. You can't help but think twice before doing anything. Because you just don't look at things in one point of view but from two point of view.You're both ying & yang. Outside, you might be one tough cookie but inside you're just a soft, caring innocent person.

i am not perfect

*i make mistakes. a lot.

*i mistyped a lot of words already. (binasa ko nga uli yung ilang blog posts ko at natawa na lang ako kasi maraming mali. haha. nakakahiya. but that just proves that really, i am human. :D)

*ilang beses na rin akong na-late ng gising, and consequently, late na rin sa school/work (gaya kanina. tsk. opo "isnabero", aalis na ako ng maaga. :D)

*may memory gap din ako. tsk. signs of aging. haha. kaya nga i have my daily planner and "to-do list" e. not because i am simply organized, but because i have poor memory. hehe.

*i've been fooled, not just once, but twice. tsk. i can hear papa saying, "taga-UP." (you know, that insulting tone. pinaikling version ng, "taga-UP tapos ganyan? anong klaseng taga-UP yan?" of course pabiro lang naman yung pagkakasabi niya. pero ganun na rin yun. oh well. hehe.

*lamigin ako. super. as in right this moment, i am already shivering. kamusta naman kasi ang aircon dito sa office. para kameng nasa freezer. waah. sabi nga ni sir erick, he understands na kailangan ng computers ng cold temperature, but hey, we're humans! hindi po kame computers. maawa kayo, patayin niyo na ang aircon!!!! grrrrr.

*messing with me means messing with a tiger. really, i bite. haha. joke lang. mahaba ang pasensiya ko pero pag napuno ako, punong-puno talaga. if looks could kill, marami na akong na-murder. haha. kalokohan lang 'to. mabait talaga ako. nagkukunwaring mataray lang para di mapagkamalang weak. ang kaso ang tingin naman saken ngayon e super strong. nagbago na raw ako, di na ako gaya ng dati. well, nagbago na talaga ako. marunong na akong lumaban ngayon. :D

*soprano ako. hmm, you might wonder, anong negative dun? well, masyado daw mataas ang boses ko. parang laging galit. oh yeah. yun lang. next item. hehe.

*wala akong kwentang ka-text. :D promise, wala talaga. pasensya na. ilang beses ko na bang natulugan yung kausap ko? haha. sorry. :( sobrang pagod lang talaga. you know, busy. artista e. hehe. seriously, wala talaga kayong maaasahan pag ako katext niyo. kaya nga siguro naholdap ako e. (huh?! connection? :D) nung isang gabi lang kausap ko yung high school buddy ko na sobrang tagal ko ng hindi nakakausap. tapos ayun, natulugan ko siya. at hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa siya uli natext. tsk. sorry ralph. ganito kasi, let me explain. :D ang phone ko ay ginagamit ko lang para sa information dissemination. as in pang-text brigade lang. kasi nga during work, hindi naman ako makatext dahil tambak ang trabaho. after work, sobrang pagod na. before work, tulog din ako sa biyahe. well, except kanina. kaya yun. isa pa, isnabera din kasi ako minsan. hehe. sorry naman.

there, i said it na. hindi ako perfect. BUT, i am blessed. i am wonderfully made. i am God's wonderful artifact. i am a princess. i am a child of God. and most of all, i am loved. :)

so what's this post all about? wala lang. kaninang umaga ko pa naisip yung post na 'to e. ayaw akong tantanan ng thought. hehe.

i miss blogging. i miss this.

i hope to write as frequent as possible. actually, i'm planning to set up another blog. haha. i just can't get enough of them. hehe. basta, may mga major changes kasi sa life ko starting tomorrow e. tomorrow is another year. happy new year to me. :)

i can't wait to make things happen. but why wait anyway? i'll make things happen. now. :D

God bless everyone. :)

be happy. God loves you.

for those who want to know...

i hope everyone's well and safe. i don't know how to begin. but i don't intend to post a very long entry because i know you guys are all busy, just as i am.

i'm sure everyone heard the news about how destructive ondoy and pepeng were. for those who have been worried about me and my family, thank you so much for the concern. yes, we were not spared from ondoy's wrath, but we're all okay, alive and well.

we stayed on the ceiling just to have a dry place to step on. it was the first time. since we moved here in 1986, never were we flooded. i mean, never THIS high. we were not able to save our appliances, except for the computer which my brother couldn't afford to lose. it was the first thing he secured. thank God the water didn't reach the topmost cabinet on the master's bedroom.

i was able to take pictures from my phone and they can be found here. (sorry for the low quality of the pictures.)

oh well. life goes on. and through it all, i am so very thankful to everyone who prayed for us and helped us in every way they can. titos, titas, friends, from the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU!

guys, i'm really sorry if i lost touched with you. as i mentioned in my previous entry, i was held up. i lost my phone. i lost my contacts. i'm really sorry.

for those who have my new number but was not able to contact me during the storm, my apologies, i didn't have signal (thanks to Globe. tsk.).

again, to everyone, i hope you guys are safe and healthy. thank you for all the prayers and concern. let's continue to pray for and help one another.

*be still, know that there is GOD.*

P.S.
guys, please email me (here) your contact numbers. hope to hear from you soon. miss you people! :)

good night and God bless. :)

tomorrow is a new day.

by the way, i update my twitter more often. (it's the only social networking site i access in the office.) follow me at: http://twitter.com/bosstink

long story..

bad news: i was held up.. in UP.. a place i consider my territory.. =(
i still can't believe until now how everything happened. nung lumapit saken yung lalakeng yun at sinabing kailangan niya ng cellphone ko, akala ko makikitext lang. pero nung tinutukan na niya ako at sinabing sasaksakin ako pag di ko binigay yung phone, dun ko lang na-realize na hinoholdap na pala ako. nag-isip pa akong lumaban, tumakbo. kaso may motor na nakaabang (hindi ko nakita yung itsura ng lalakeng nagmamaneho ng motor kasi naka-helmet siya). naisip ko ring pag sinaksak niya ako, mabilis akong mauubusan ng dugo. at ayoko talaga ng madugong kamatayan. pwede ko ring sabihin sa kanya na wala akong cellphone. kaso lang baka lalo niya akong saktan. at baka pati bag ko kunin pa niya. so ang ending, sa sobrang nerbiyos ko, binigay ko na lang yung phone. wala na ako sa wisyo after that. lakad takbo na yung ginawa ko. salamat kay hazel at robert na naiyakan ko. hindi na tuloy ako nakapunta sa Christ the King. nagsabi pa naman ako kay Kuya Josef na darating ako. =( ang huling katext ko bago ako bumaba ng jeep ay si marshee. pinag-uusapan pa namin yung plano naming get-together ng tweet2. hay. until now, habang nagtatype ako, tumutulo pa rin yung luha ko. nakakasama ng loob. 6 years na akong may cellphone pero never pa akong nanakawan. sobrang maingat akong tao. matapang din ako at malakas ang loob. kaya parang kalokohan lahat ng nangyari. madaya e. wala akong laban.
pagdating ko sa Rosario, si Kuya Don at Ate Fel ang naabutan ko. at syempre, iyak na naman ako sa kanila. hindi pa kasi nauubos yung nerbiyos at trauma ko. kahit pa the whole time kausap ko lang si God, hindi ko pa rin lubos maisip na wala na nga yung phone ko. at oo naholdap nga ako.
salamat kay Jess sa pagiging sweet and thoughtful. nadatnan niya kasi akong umiiyak. bumaba siya. at nagulat na lang ako pag-akyat niya may dala na siyang donuts. wag na raw akong umiyak. ang importante raw safe ako. such a sweet guy. ayun, pinagsaluhan namin yung donuts. hindi lang ako ang nakinabang, pati na rin yung ibang service team. kapatid, salamat talaga!
malungkot. sobra. naninibago ako. kaninang umaga, inabot ko pa rin yung lagayan ko ng phone. only to realize na wala na nga pala akong phone. =( hay.

pero everything happens for a reason diba? so eto naman ang good news...

i realized a couple of things.. sa tulong na rin ng mga taong nakiramay sa pagkawala ng phone ko..

yung phone na yun ay witness sa maraming pangyayari sa buhay ko. kasama ko yun sa lahat ng panahon. yun ang orasan ko, reminder, organizer, lahat na. pero tama si Kuya Don, may mga kailangan na akong i-let go sa phone na yun.

pa'no ko ba ipapaliwanag? parang ganito.. yung kwento namin ni mae (soul sister ko). last year, during the MMC, dun kame officially naging friends. at dahil gusto kong magkaroon kame ng picture together, i needed to erase some photos dun sa camera. but what happened was, nabura lahat ng laman ng camera na yun. iniyakan ko yun pero ang realization ko dun, if i want to start anew, i need to let go of certain things.

i believe eto rin ang message ni God ngayon, sa pagkawala ng phone ko.

friends, i'm beginning to reach my dreams. little by little. and ngayon, i'm undergoing the Discernment Program for SFC Mission Volunteers. maraming magbabago sa buhay ko after ng 3 months na training at discernment. at ngayon pa lang, alam kong hinahanda na ako ni Lord.

may ilang buwan na rin akong nagdarasal para sa isang bagay. at sa pagkawala ng phone ko, ang nasabi ko na lang, "eto na yun. eto na yung sagot ni God."

i continue to pray for God's message sa lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon. basta ang alam ko lang, God knows best. and He has the perfect plan for me. =)

to robert and to kuya don, thank you for these words:
robert - "ok lang yan. ang cellphone napapalitan. ikaw, hindi."
kuya don - "sis, maybe God wants you to let go of some people in that phone. malay mo hindi sila makakabuti sa'yo."

nakakatuwang isipin. nakaplano na talaga ang pagbili ko ng bagong phone. lagi lang nadedelay kasi may mga biglaang gastos o di kaya may mga pangangailangan sa bahay o sa pag-aaral ng kapatid ko na kailangan kong tugunan. pero eto, wala na akong choice kundi bumili na talaga. ganun din yung nangyari sa eyeglasses ko. nasa listahan ko na rin yun ng "things to buy". kaso nga lagi kong pinagpapaliban. hanggang sa nasira na lang siya. so wala na naman akong choice. haha. hay. sabi siguro ni God, "ang kulit mo talagang bata ka. akala Ko ba, gusto mo na ng bago? e bakit hindi mo pa rin pinapakawalan yung luma? hindi mo kaya? Ako ang gagawa para sa'yo."

naalala ko tuloy yung isang scenario sa Discovery Weekend namin. may isang activity dun na hindi ko pwedeng sabihin yung details. pero basta may kailangan kameng gawin. may isang sister na hindi kayang gawin yung pinapagawa. sa totoo lang, lahat naman talaga kame hesitant. pero ginawa pa rin namin. sa lahat ng nandun, siya lang ang hindi gumawa ng task. so nilapitan siya ng speaker/facilitator para gawin yung task para sa kanya.

sa buhay naten, may mga bagay tayong gustong makamit, mabago, maranasan. may mga lugar tayong gustong marating. pero kung hindi tayo gagalaw, at hindi tayo handang iwanan yung kasalukuyan nateng kinalalagyan, wala tayong mararating.

the Lord wants the best for us. He wants to bless us. pero ready na ba tayong tanggapin yung blessings Niya? how can He fill us with His grace when we are already full of other things? yun ang napagnilayan ko sa nangyari saken. hinahanda lang ako ni God sa mas malaki at maganda Niyang plano sa buhay ko. it has always been my prayer for Him to take away what's wrong in my life, whatever that may hinder me from becoming the person that He wants me to be. at sinagot na Niya yung prayer ko. i can see everything falling into place. my surrendering of the responsibilities i once held sa chapter, my undergoing of the discernment program, and my losing of one of the most important things in my life, my phone.

God can only fill us when we're empty. We can only receive His blessings when there's enough room in our hearts and in our lives. We need to let go of some things for us to gain much greater things.

lahat ng nawawala, may kapalit na mas maganda. =)

"Rather, new wine must be poured into fresh wineskins." Luke 5:38

"For that same reason, the one who is in Christ is a new creature. For him the old things have passed away; a new world has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17

"You must give up the former way of living, the old self, whose deceitful desires bring self-destruction. Renew yourselves spiritually, from inside, and put on the new self, or self according to God, that is created in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24

friends, you can reach me through email muna ha? baka sa payday pa ako makabili ng bagong phone.

tweet2, especially marshee, i really hope masulit naten yung long weekend next next week. balitaan niyo ako ha?

love & miss you friends. i'll see you soon!

good day world! ^_^

praise God

..for the so many wonderful things and the so many big and small surprises.. ^_^

1. after 30 long years, finally, as in finally, we were able to find a relative, a cousin that is, from my father's side. for those who know my father's story, you would understand why it was that huge an experience for us to be able to speak with another Garnica. such a dream a come. never had i seen papa this happy. and the more important thing is that we found out that his parents are still alive! hooray! and i know, and i claim that come November (that's the latest), they'll be reunited again. i'll find a way. i know God will make it happen. because He knows that if there's one thing in papa's life that's missing, it's the warmth and comfort of his parents' embrace. friends, please please continue to pray for us, especially for resources, and please please pray for my grandparents' health as well. =) thank you very much. =)

2. blessed and powerful and smooth-flowing Christian Life Program. =) from the participants, to the speakers and sharers, to the core team and the service team.. there are some glitches, of course, but every session ends well. so, to that force trying to stop God's work, you can try but you'll never win against God. you can hurt me, do me harm, put me in danger, but no, you can never ever stop me, because i'm telling you with conviction, GOD IS MY STRENGTH! ^_^

3. ate gemma, dearest she, and sistah cat. i know they know why i am so thankful to have them as my sisters and to be able to share my deepest sentiments with them during our household meetings. thank you sisters. =)

4. tweet2. westlife sisters. mae. tin. shy. bez. i haven't seen them for a long time now, but i know, and i can confidently say that they are my friends, best friends, no matter what. =)

5. SFC Chorale Manila. singing with them keeps me inspired, makes me strive to be better, and most of all, fills my heart with joy and contentment. =)

6. good working relationship with my officemates. sharing a good laugh with them makes each day worthwhile, no matter how busy and toxic that day may be. =)

7. best family. need i say more? =)

8. gift of work (sidelines included. :D). need i say more again? =)

9. wisdom. inspiration. little joys. laughter. sleep. rest. relaxation. freedom. security. health. love. answered prayers (most especially for others).

10. life itself. and time. yes, i praise God for time. =)

the list goes on and on and on... truly, if we'll just learn to appreciate even the little blessings, then we'll never run out of things to thank and praise God for. =)

in this battle i'm on, my armor & strength is 2 Timothy 4:16-18. At my first hearing in court no one supported me; all deserted me. May the Lord not hold it against them. But the Lord was at my side, giving me strength to proclaim the Word fully, and let all the pagans hear it. So I was rescued from the lion's mouth. The Lord will save me from all evil, bringing me to His heavenly kingdom. Glory to Him forever and ever. Amen.

end of post. good night and God bless people! ^_^

~*all glory and honor and praise
be to the ancient of days
i praise You, i worship You
my Lord and my King on high*~

hindi ako pababayaan ng Panginoon

.. yan ang paulit-ulit na binanggit ni Father sa homily niya kanina. we heard the same homily twice, maybe because God knows perfectly that we NEEDED to hear that affirmation. today is the last day of our leafleting for the current CLP, which kuya rhed and i lead. and i personally thank everyone who supported. :)

i've been quiet for almost a month now. just last night, i checked my journal only to realize that i haven't written anything since july 22. sad. =(am i really that busy? i guess so.

i work full time as web maintenance & admin personnel for a company in Ortigas. i work part-time (project-based) as rewriter/writer for an online firm. and just today, i started working part-time as tutor. i sing in two choirs, i serve in the chapter, and i lead the CLP.

one of my girl friends asked, "kasya ba ang 24 oras sa'yo?" well, amazingly, kasya pa naman. kahit pano nakakatulog pa naman ako. :D

still another friend commented, "sulit na sulit ang buhay mo." oh yes, walang nasasayang na oras sa akin. dahil ang totoo, wala na talaga akong bakanteng oras. minsan nga sobrang tuliro na ako kung anong uunahin at kung paano ko pagkakasyahin ang 24 oras sa lahat ng kailangan kong gawin, puntahan, at kausapin. pero you might ask, "kelangan mo ba talagang gawin yan lahat unaiza?" honestly, OO.

kaya ko naman. at sa totoo lang, masaya naman ako. nakakapagod syempre pero basta God has never failed to inspire and empower me naman kaya go lang. nakakatuwa lang kung paano kumilos si God. alam Niya talaga kapag malapit na akong bumigay e. during the Orientation, tinamaan ako sa sinabi ni Tito Noel. naniniwala raw tayo na walang ibibigay si God na problema na hindi naten kaya. pero during trying times, we find ourselves praying, "Lord, hindi ko na kaya!" totoo. guilty ako. dati. pero habang umiigting ang battle na kinakaharap ko, mas lalo rin akong tumitibay. minsan, tinatanong ko rin sa sarili ko kung pano ko kinakaya lahat. but of course, i can never claim na kinaya ko lahat on my own strength. i have God. and i remember yung "footprints in the sand", hindi ko lang basta kasama si God, He carries me as well.

at ngayon, kung kelan sobrang bigat ng dinadala ko, ngayon pinaalala ni God na kailanman, hindi Niya ako pababayaan. sabi nga ni Father, iwanan ka man sa ere at kalimutan ng mga tao, ang Panginoon, kahit kailan, hindi ka pababayaan.

and that's what i'm holding on to. people tend to forget promises, but God does keep them. sa mundong ito, hindi lahat ng mabuti sayo e kakampi mo hanggang huli. may mga taong akala mo mapagkakatiwalaan mo pero ang totoo, sila pa pala ang unang tumitira tayo patalikod. may mga taong akala mo pwede mong asahan pero hindi pala. there'll come a time when disappointment will be your friend. hehe. friend na talaga e no? e kasi lagi mo na siyang kasama at nararamdaman e. pero hindi lang naten dapat kalimutan na friend man naten si disappointment, best friend naman naten si God. =)

"hindi ako pababayaan ng Panginoon!" yan ang mantra ko ngayon. at yan ang katotohanan. ^_^

dami ko pa sana gustong i-share. pero yan lang ang pinayagan ng oras ko. next time na uli. :D

God bless everyone!

Friends, i love & miss you. i hope you know that. babawi ako. =)

God in my Life.

God be in my eyes and in my looking;

God be in my ears and in my listening;

God be in my mouth and in my speaking;

God be in my hand and in my working;

God be in my feet and in my walking;

God be in my mind and in my knowing;

God be in my heart and in my loving;

God be in my life and in my living.

AMEN.

*got this from Father Xavier during his MMC talk. :)